Thousands Attend Lakewood Tznius Asifa

asifa 9-16-14PHOTO: Thousands of men this evening packed the Lake Terrace hall for a Asifa on the topic of Tznius.

Addressing the crowd, were Reb Malkiel Kotler, Rabbi Resiman, Rabbi Falk and Rabbi Wachsman.


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  1. Is that what was going on? I was wondering why so many cars were parked on Oak St. to the point that someone tried to partially block the entrance onto Coral Ave. A good honk of my horn made him change his mind. Did anyone think to recommend carpooling?

  2. Tznius is so important in this town!!!! But I have 1 question did the people who NEED to be there were there??? Or the men that came are from Yeshiva and don’t have this issue? ??
    Something to think about…..

  3. To #4 – I wasn’t there. But their is a little undertone of cynicism in your comment. The mere fact that so many of our kehila (community) came together “lishmoya es dvar H-shem” must be a tremendous nachas ruach to the RSO if nothing else.

  4. It was an event started not by the rosh hayeshiva but by a baaleh bus in borough park who is very shtark about a need for change in tznius standards. He put a lot of money into. Rev mattisyahu and others did not agree that yet another asifa was the way to go. But this baaleh bus has a lot of money and kept pumping the idea until people stood behind it. He wanted them to give clear instruction that women need to cut their sheitels shoulder length and no more flairy skirts. … I don’t think that happened but there will be follow up on the matter.

  5. Whatever it was whether it was known before or S/th new, can bring mashiach closer for trying to elevate our Kedusha and get closer to the shechina. May we merit to see the coming of mashiach really quick.

  6. A true kiddush hashem. It was unbelievable seeing Lake terrace overflow. All the seats taken and over a hundred (probably more) standing. And a screen by the entrance.
    Does anyone know where I can get a recording of the asifa? Or of it is on kol halashon?

  7. #1 carpooling was recxomanded and done by many.
    #2 if you were there you realized and felt the accomplishment.
    #3 from a group of a few 1000 you may have an idiot or 2. Good job making him changing his mind.

    Great job LPD & Chaveirim.

  8. Rav Malkiel did reference the issue of the skinny pants towards the end of his remarks.

    Rabbi Reisman spoke about Ani l’dodi v’dodi li, our objective is to make Hashem within our midst, so he can judge us as a friend/king, as opposed to din/sanhedrin. One of the criteria is dress as He is before us..just as you would dress if your Rosh Hayeshiva or Principal was with you.

    Rabbi Falk gave an in depth shiur outlining a lot of technicalities of tznius. He went through each article of clothing and expounded upon it. He mentioned that the standards are a joint responsibility, that the husband would meddle if he truly cared about the issue at hand. He said there were ‘Arba avos nizikin’..too tight, short, see through and eye catching.

    Rabbi Waxman spoke about the herd mentality, how people are following trends off the street..from Paris etc. Lakewood stands apart as a trendsetter in so many ruchniyos areas, we should have the strength to lead in this area too. He told a story of a Bais Yaakov in Monsey, where the Principal called 3 girls in on the first day of school and told her to fold her cuffs over her sweater, after a few days there were others copying her, a few months later, the whole school was fold their cuffs over their sweater. The Principal called an assembly, the three girls got up and sang a song about what they did..all the girls hid their hands in shame, when they realized they were just following a silly trend/joke..OI LANU, WHEN WE REALIZE and are shown how silly and wrong are the actions we did.
    He also said over a story about a Mother and Daughter who went shopping in a Boro Park store, when the 17 y/o girl mentioned to the proprietor that the skirt isn’t long enough, she retorted ‘oh you’re one of those 4 inch people’, belittling the girl in the process. We must stand strong, the influence pulling against us is very strong.

    Rav Mattisyahu didn’t end up speaking because it was 1140 by the time he was supposed to speak.

    The speakers all spoke beautifully, I just wrote a snippet of what they said and what their message was.

  9. B”H we have come a long way. Years ago when our mothers grew up and yes even our grandmothers dor in Europe before the war. covering your hair, wearing long sleeves, mechitzas by all simchas were not always the norm. B”H we shtieged and are the most tznius dor in 100 years probably. And this all despite the fact that the goyim get more and more prust. May we countine to shtieg and grow.

    Disclaimer, my point is not to knock the old dor. They had more emuna and had their own share of nisyanas to deal with. Rather lets be happy that our dor has accomplished so much on this area.

  10. The issue is we have so many asifos and is there really a change?! The amount of people still glued to the internet… The tznius in the town on every level…. It’s not changing.
    Maybe we need a new strategy,


  12. Poor in Lakewood: You have everything backwards and inside out. No normal thinking Frum Yid believes that if we first take care of Parnassa, then Tznius would fix itself. The opposite is true: Make true, sincere Kaballos in improving your Tnius and THEN Parnassa will follow.

  13. #19,

    Jobs are not so simple. If you learn in beis medresh & kollel then walk out and expect to make a living what do you want? The way of the secular world is that those that want to succeed, go to college at 18 and maybe grad school at 22. They then work like a dog (yes may have dogs too rather than kids!) for 10 years. And get married first after they have a career. This is obviously not the jewish way. But there is no way to address the job issue if the system is contradictory I am not advocating changing the jewish system rather realize that there is no solution.
    (I would say that perhaps one can work extra hard within the two systems. But you have to be really committed. Absolutely no vacations, no sunday, friday afternoon or chol hamoed off days. Its not easy though. And of course no money and high debt the first few years.)

  14. We dont need asifos. What we need is common sense. We need leaders that lead not govern by decree and fear. We need a community that doesnt judge by exterior (of course tznius) appearance.

  15. How about an asifa about treating others with dignity, especially mosdos? (and DON’T blame it on there being no room!) Or about making a kiddush Hashem, especially while driving?

    It’s just so easy to blame every calamity on tznius. The inside of a person has to be changed too, and that’s a lot harder to do. Hence, not a popular asifa topic.

  16. #23 I guess Hashem is not really part of the equation. Your philosophy toward making a parnassa does not sound very Jewish to me. If hashem does not want you working chol hamoed or being a 24/7 workaholic, then yes, your parnassa will come with normal hishtadlus. I’m not advocating sitting back and taking it easy, but the ideas you are espousing are for a different religion.

  17. For 2 years, I asked my husband to lengthen his work hours. He resisted. For those 2 years, my husband asked me to lengthen my skirts. I resisted. Finally, I agreed. That very day, he received his biggest order ever for his business. Within a few weeks, his business took off and has been going off the charts. B”H I listened to him and he didn’t listen to me.

  18. #5 It would so nice if you were right. But unfortunately, when you see SOME men from Yeshiva walking with their wives, the disparity in their dress code don’t seen to “fit”. The skirts are just getting shorter every year.

  19. Noone blamed any calamities on Tznius. That was not the tone of this event. It was a tremendous Kiddush Has-hem to see thousands of people come out to strengthen themselves in these areas and to strive to get closer to the Ribbono Shel Oilam. There was a very simple message that the men have a big role in the tznius of their family and as R ‘ Reisman said it beautifully, “we shoudl act/dress in a way that we would if we were in the presence of the Gadol Hador. Let us all realize that we are ALWAYS in the presence of the H’KBH and act in such a way. Only good things, including Parnassa, Nachas, Gezunt etc can come from being close to Has-hem” Ksiva V’chasima Tova to all….

  20. Agreed. R’ Reisman mentioned that if knows that some women have become lax in being careful about their snoods going to far back. How does he know? He said because when he meets ladies in the street, the first thing day do is their hands fly to their heads to fix their snood! If they do it for him, why not for Hashem? I see women do that all the time when they meet certain people. Same with their skirts. Why just for some men? They forget that All Men Were Created Equal.

  21. I understand the importance of tznius, and there is definitely a tznius problem in Lakewood.I was wondering if perhaps some of what has been instituted in Lakewood to combat this problem, has actually contributed to it.

    For example girls in 3rd grade are told what color shoes to wear. Is this really a tznius issue? Is a 3rd grade girl wearing maroon or blue shoes a lack of tznius? Or perhaps, like Adam telling Chava that touching the Etz Hadas, it can actually lead to bigger problems down the road. The shoe color is merely one example, there are others.

    When children are stifled from doing things that are not prohibited maybe that leads them to rebel later on in life, against things that actually are.

  22. Of course tznius is extremely important I’m just saying there so many serious problems in klal Yisrael specially lakewood why can’t we focus on them with big asifas as well we’re always busy looking at the reasons why things happen trust me there’s a lot more then tzinius and intenet let’s begin to bring those issues to the public and bring real happiness to our town and klal Yisrael

  23. I’m actually so relieved there was a tznius asifa. I cringe from shame when I see women not dressed properly.
    To just wondering, actually colors like maroon, purple etc attract attention and there’s nothing wrong with not allowing girls to wear those colors.

  24. did the asifa cover other areas of life, besides dress? for example, did anyone speak about how unbecoming it is to talk loudly in the street, or to make a spectacle of yourself in public by obnoxiously honking your horn?

    is anyone aware of a recording, audio or video of the event so that we can hear what was said?

  25. According to an earlier commenter, tznius is synonymous with yeshiva guy, inferring that the untznius is synonymous with non-yeshiva guy. That aside from the assumption that only yeshiva guys showed up.

    To that commenter I say – get off you self-righteous high horse.

  26. To #17 Quick Recap:
    Just wanted to say thanks, you summarized beautifully, and I feel I got a taste of the event, and really felt inspired just by reading your post. Thanks

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