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I know someone who wasn’t able to afford Sukkos last year, so when a family member offered him to join them in Orlando he gladly accepted. When he got back the school administrator called to say your child is not allowed back until your balance is paid further stating “if you can find the funds to go to Orlando you can pay us as well.”
That is probably not the average case but it is common.
Let’s not judge
Have a wonderful Y’T
exactly my thoughts
you dont know what other people go through
and they could be saving money by going and even flying on points
so their yom tov is practically free
lets try to use an aiyin tov
have a great yom tov
Points can be sold for cash and used for tuition too.
Just saying.
Great letter
Wishful thinking. People take their families to EY for Sukkos but negotiate very hard to get the biggest break on tuition.
No one should be paying any tuition. Tuition is ginaiva thru and thru. It says in the Rambam clearly that one can NOT charge someone for teaching them Torah! If anything, the Yeshivos should return all the money they’ve shaken down the parents over the years with their thievery, I mean “tuition”.
If you are a regular guy, why are you assuming those flying off somewhere nice are not paying tuition?
Not assuming – giving you actual cases (sadly quite a few)
I hope you feel better now.
No, he doesn’t feel better. There are ppl that cannot make YT. Maybe you’re a kid or just clueless but his point is valid. Be grateful that you don’t need to write such letters.
I’m flying off somewhere but please fargin me. We had a very very hard year financially, and emotionally. It wasn’t always hard but the last 3 years have been very bad. Haven’t taken a vacation, hey haven’t even gone out to eat with my wife in almost 3 years.
this sukkos a close family member of mine who doesn’t have tons of extra money, did invite us to his home on Boca.he offered to pay for our flights with points. We were reluctant at first, but then after much convincing we obliged. We feel terrible, and we did pre warn our daughters school, and the administration was understanding. But now we are feeling guilty again because of people like you, and some neighbors of ours. Please try to fargin and forgive us even though we owe tuition.
I haven’t been out to eat with my wife in 25 years, and I have only been married for 15.
It’s perfectly normal, going out to eat is the strange thing.
Not every family going somewhere for yom tov is paying for it themselves. It may be in-laws or parents or their own older children or boss who is paying it. Dont assume you got the full picture. Dont judge. Its easier to simply assume and judge.
Some family dynamics are forced to go away such as if the entire family siblings and immediate family go and your expected to be there. You have no other place to go. Someone needs a mental and physical break do to their financial crisis, medical problems , loss of a loved one and other challenges including shalom bayis.
Like I said its easier to judge. My kids wanted to go away and said they would pay the house. Which meant I still had to pay for the tickets, car rental, getting to airport, food sent down, rental of succa, fridge, and many othet fees. It would mean my wife cooking 24/7 and exposing my little ones vs older ones to something we had felt was not always for the best. Like golf carts driven by teens day and all night. So we said no. Personally we could use the getaway. Mentally and physically. But it didnt make sense. I have been invited 1 times to go. And many heterim come up including food being brought to shul on shabbos and Yom tov by truck. Its might be allowed but its questionable. The same goes with using hot water on yom tov from tankeless homes or Kashering glass top stoves. And yes they should have an onsite posek rav to decide not the hot shot gvir who claims he knows halacha and overrides the mashgiach they hired. . OK now I am judging. Its easy to judge. I do and I did. Many times family dynamics make it that its Pikuach nefoshos and one must go away.
Not every vacation is a luxury. Personally going away for yom tov isnt a vacation. Its family getting together. Some families work hard and cook and drive long distance and dont have a maid service or baby sitter or cook. They all chipping in doing their thing.
Everyone has their situations. So again dont be so judgmental. Not everyone wants to go.
One person called me today from yerusalem and was asking if I knew of any Americans he could call to find a meal. In the conversation he stated that if any onr came they must have money. Not true. Some used mileage, didnt fly direct, was hosted by others who paid it… many situations of family dynamics. I have learned and always trying to learn to not judge.
Respectfully, what’s so terrible about teens driving golf carts day and night?
True but over generalized. If a grandparent flys in a family and covers their yuntif expenses they may not be up to date on tuition.
Another may be using points stored up from a few years for flights and hotel stay.
Possibilities are endless but the concept is basically a reminder that staff also need to be paid.
Maybe the grandparents should pay up the tuition first???
Points = Cash in most cases.
Perhaps for a lower rate.
I think if you offered a school to pay tuition in points or give them the cash value of your redeemed point vs not pay at all, they will gladly take your points.
Yes, there are a lot of “Dan Lkaf Zchus” possible scenarios.
But, the message is not for those, and we all know the people who abuse the system and have their priorties screwed up.
Points, shver, shvuger, friend…..at the end of that day you are spending extra funds that should’ve gone to pay your childrens tuition or maybe pay back the guy you loanded money from 2 years ago.
Oh “But I had to do it for my kids”…If you really care about your kids (and not social pressure) make sure their mechanchim who work tirelessly year round get paid in time for yom tov.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES!
To all those who are saying that maybe some families are having the trip paid for by grandparents, etc; IF there’s a tuition balance that’s not small, then maybe the grandparents should help pay down the balance before springing for tickets, etc for a Yom Tov vacation. The Yeshivos, etc, deserve the money BEFORE you make a nice Yom Tov vacation.
While you’re at it, all the wealthy people that built their monument to greed, pay your vendors who are struggling to pay for Yom Tov basics.
Don’t be so “concerned”.
I agree that people should pay their tuition, but I’m not sure what one has to do with the other. Maybe someone paid for the vacation months ago, used points, is staying with family, or someone else is paying for it.
Also, schools generally have payment plans, and not everyone who has a balance is simply refusing to pay.
That being said, if someone actually has the money available and is choosing an expensive vacation over paying what they owe the school, then obviously the school should be paid first. But you really don’t know someone’s finances from seeing them go away for Sukkos.
Also, there is a difference between having a “tuition balance” and being behind on tuition. If someone is paying monthly according to the agreement, technically there will be a balance almost the entire school year. The issue is when someone is actually past due and spending the money elsewhere.
stop judgeing
i can t afford tuition or vacations but I did take my family on a vacation that cost me 7 thousand dollares why because alot anyone knows whats going on by the next person
when you G-D forbid have a sick kid with cancer – your family needs a break so stop all the judging enough already
No one is talking about someone taking abreak from dealing with a machla. Everyone with a brain will fargin them, and if possible help pay for it.
הוי דן אדם לכל זכות