While the impetus for this article is the recent tragedy in Lakewood, I do not know the specifics, and nothing I say here is directed at that situation. I do know that we ALL need to be extremely careful not to increase stigma because of this story. Rather, we must understand that stigma harms the community and that it prevents people from getting the proper help and support, even though such help and support can make a huge difference in a person’s ability to function.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines stigma as “a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.”
The phrase “mental illness” has negative connotations: people are afraid of hiring, befriending and even interacting with people who they believe suffer from mental illness.
People are not ‘depressed’, ‘mentally ill’, or ‘psychotic’. They can have a mental illness, they may feel depressed or act psychotic but it doesn’t define them. Just as anyone r”l can have cancer or lyme disease, anyone can have a mental illness. Just as any sick person deserves respect, so do those who live with the pain of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, psychosis, or any other mental illness. Just as any illness needs to be treated by knowledgeable and experienced doctors, tested and proven methods and often medication, so too mental illness.
As we walk through the grocery store, we don’t know how many of our fellow shoppers are on medication and are functioning just as well as others despite the challenges that Hashem gave them.
The tendency to perceive mental illness as a personal flaw explains why people hesitate to share information about their illness, why they suffer in silence, and why even close family members may remain completely in the dark.
One in four people suffer from mental illness at some point in their life. How many do you know and support? How many of your friends, family members, and coworkers are suffering without your knowledge and therefore without your support?
Those suffering from a mental illness – even psychosis – can get the proper treatment, support and care. As a community, we must end the stigma and thereby enable more people to make use of the available resources.
Treatment and healing starts with: respect, care, support and understanding.
Only when someone knows that you will provide all of that, will they feel safe enough to accept your help.
No one should have to suffer alone,
No one should feel the need to hide.
No one should shy away from getting the help they need even if they are not in dire straits.
Chazkeinu, among other organizations, is here to support any Jewish woman suffering from any emotional or mental health challenges, along with their female relatives.
One of our members recently shared the following, expressing a sentiment that we hear over and over from our members:
“Hi, my name is Leah*. I am struggling with depression. Although I’m taking medication and have an excellent therapist, Chazkeinu has been a lifeline for me. Unfortunately, I have no support and my loved ones do not recognize that this is a real illness. When I join the Chazkeinu meetings, I literally come up for air there. I am in a safe place where I am understood and validated, not judged, and I am loved just because. These meetings are just one of the services that Chazkeinu provides, but they have given me strength, empowerment and meaning. Most of all, I’ve been given the encouragement that mental illness does not define me. In my humble opinion, Chazkeinu saves the lives of people and all their future generations.”
*Name has been changed.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Zahava List – Founder and CEO
Rabbi Yisroel Grossberg – Rabbinical Director
Dr. Ditza Berger, PhD – Clinical Advisor
