Reader-submitted: Please keep your alcohol away from groups this Purim

As a parent whose son is once again joining his classmates going collecting on Purim, I am urging Baalei Batim to please keep the alcohol away from these children.

Besides for the Chillul Hashem that can emerge from having young teens walking around drunk – and endangering their lives and the lives of others, it’s just a horrible sight to see.

On several occasions, I’ve been on the receiving end of some of these drunkards (and some just faking it) wobbling into my home, coming from homes serving alcohol.

This isn’t an image of Yeshivah Bachurim I want my children seeing.

So please, help us all enjoy a safe and meaningful Purim.

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    • Please explain YOUR Purim to the rest of us where, for HS and BM boys, drinking is the MOST important part of Purim. No supervision, no designated “driver” (boy who makes sure no one is out of control), etc. etc. This is not Purim, this is sakanos nefashos, as we are unfortunately reminded, Every. Single. Year.

  1. U Shud also mention that the punishment for serving alcohol to minors in NJ is quite severe. “Providing alcohol to minors is a criminal offense in New Jersey under N.J.S. 2C:33-17. This is known as a disorderly persons offense which includes up to six (6) months in the county jail, up to a $1,000.00 fine, and a permanent criminal charge “.

  2. I hate to say this but you r supposed to drink and once a year buchrim could drink let them maybe you should tell your kid to not drink but I allow my sons to drink and I will even buy them wine I feel they know there limit and if someone cant hold there alcohol they should not drink to begin with

  3. I couldn’t agree more… Parents tell your boys that if they want to drink you will give them some wine when they get home that way they get the drink but it’s in a safe and controlled manner

  4. @Halacha
    A young teenager doesn’t know his limit. This is a conversation all parents should have with there children throughout their teenage years. It includes smoking, alcohol, drugs and peer pressure. Purim is not an excuse for teenagers to start any of these behaviors. The boys have to know it is ok to say “NO”! How many parents are celebrating yahrzeit on Purim for their sons who didn’t know their limits.

  5. Nytewynd,

    The festival of Purim is celebrated every year on the 14th of the Hebrew month of Adar (late winter/early spring). It commemorates the salvation of the Jewish people in ancient Persia from Haman’s plot “to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews, young and old, infants and women, in a single day,” as recorded in the book of Esther. This celebration takes its form in a number of customs and joyful merry making throughout the day. A spirit of revelry and fun permeates the day with many participating in legal drinking.
    Obviously, one must be able to hold their drinking in check and not engage in any illegal or damaging action in any way as that goes against the spirit of day (…and the law).

  6. Why are groups of even 16 year olds running around unsupervised. B let your own kid know what his consequence would be if he goes over his limit but don’t take away his purim fun. I remember drinking and getting close to the limit and my friends were responsible enough to get me home before I went over

  7. and for the people that provide alcohol if you see a bachur thats going or already went over the limit find out where he lives or which yeshivah he goes to and make sure his friends/group members or someone gets him there asap

  8. IMHO: you have the right to follow a “no drinking on purim policy” as long as your opinion was shaped by halocho and not that your way of life/thinking led you to that conclusion or to a rov who holds like that. I know someone who personally is appalled by the idea of drinking on purim but because his rov is of the opinion that it should be done he lets his older bochurim drink.

    It goes without saying that it should be done in a safe controlled way and being offered alcohol when collecting doesn’t support that. Some people look at bris milah as barbaric practice and my opinion of it won’t change me doing it or not. There are differences between the 2 and its not a good analogy however the point is there to be made.

    • Did you read the post? The article said “I am urging Baalei Batim to please keep the alcohol away from these children.”

      That doesn’t mean that no one should drink- it means that drinking should be done under a controlled environment, where there’s an adult who knows how much each boy has had to drink, as opposed to each house thinking “this is only their 3rd drink, I can give it to them.”

  9. True there is a halacha about drinking, but that doesn’t mean it should be done while running around and acting like a lunatic (or faking drunk) drinking should be done at home (Purim seudah). It also does not say that the duration of ad delo yada needs to be throughout the entire day, and neither is there a halacha to drink the first night (and not being able to daven the next day k’halacha and hear the megila). There is also an issue of causing damage to others, property damage or taking away others time because you want to jump around in the middle of the road.

  10. its about time people stop bashing yeshiva bachurim thses boys sit all day always being knocked by people once a year thay are allowed to enjoy them self alday they here hear people bashing lets stand up for our yeshiva bachurim let them have a good outlet and support them because they are holding up klal yisrol

    • Drinking is never a “good outlet” I am standing up for the klal by saying roving drunks are embarrassing. drink at home dont be a spectacle.

  11. To support bochurim: I was under the impression that an emese yesiva bochur enjoys himself every single day by sitting and learning in the Bais Medrash. Running around on Purim and getting drunk is the goyishe definition of “enjoying” himself, not that of a Ben Torah.

  12. I would be much more worried the bochurim shouldn’t freeze this yr. It’s gonna be cold. Brrrrrr. Let them drink. Let them have fun. Stay warm, friends !!

  13. Just to add to #13 (Real halacha) There is no mitzvah to be drunk a whole night there is defiantly not a mitzvah. The halacha says that at the seuda, many people have the minhag to make two seuda’s one in the late morning early afternoon and one close to the shekia which continues into the night . The halacha states that at the seuda one should drink more than usual ONLY WINE NOT OTHER ALCHOLIC BEVERAGES , this is the mitzvah but chas vesholom to cause damage, make a chillul hashem this is the opposite of a mitzvah this is not what the heilige yom tov of Purim is all about. People who give these fine boys drinks ‘are osid litain ess hadin’ they could be causing both physical, emotional and permanent damage. Let’s all have a freilechen enjoyable Purim and the hashpos from the heilge Yom Tov should reamin with us for ever

  14. if people will stop bashing yeshiva boys mabe we will have more boys stay in yeshiva by the drinking on purim and having is gonna help them learn better they need outlet and ofcourse thay love learning but thay also enjoy having fun#respect yeshiva boys thay hold up the world dnt forget that

  15. Relax @please explain. Yeshiva guys are the nicest, moSt generous and sweetest people you will ever meet. Yes, there are always some that don’t rub you the right way, but as a rule, they hold themselves to a high standard. Respect them.

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