Q: The minhag of giving a diamond ring by an engagement stems from what source?
A: The minhag of a diamond ring stems from the jewelers.
Now there is a minhag — and not only a minhag; it’s an instinct — when a chosson is proud and happy with his kallah, he tries to express it in some way. And usually, it’s in the form of a gift. But that there should be a stereotype that there must be a diamond ring — and unfortunately, an expensive diamond ring — this is a minhag as I said that is encouraged by those who make profit from it.
So a chosson certainly should show his appreciation for the kallah. And if she is from such an environment that anything less than a diamond ring means lack of appreciation, so he’s stuck. He can’t help it. But if she has the good sense to know that there are other ways of showing appreciation, there are smaller gifts, then there’s no reason why a person should go to the expense – his father’s expense, that is – his father’s expense of buying a diamond ring for his kallah.
In general, the world has gone crazy on these luxuries. It’s time to call a halt. Every day each one is outdoing the other. I’d like to see a chosson and a kallah who decide to abolish – now, don’t be horror-stricken when you hear this — who will abolish taking pictures at the chasunah. The album costs five hundred dollars, or maybe I’m old-fashioned, more. A hundred percent waste of money! “Oh,” you’ll say, “that’s a necessity. It’s the barest necessity!”
Well I remember when chasunos didn’t have any albums. It wasn’t so long ago. I didn’t have an album. I’m proud of it! Flowers should be abolished. A waste of money! And I’ll say a bigger apikorsus. Why should there be schnapps? Poison. You can’t celebrate a wedding without such a tremendous waste of money?
And there are other things. And the world is going crazy. And we need heroes who will start a trend to go back to a more sane attitude. You need a smorgasbord? That’s a hundred percent waste of money. And the other meshugaim that added, not only at the beginning but at the end, a Viennese table at the end. A five hundred percent waste of money.
And so, these are minhagim that somebody once said, a minhag is the osiyos of Gehinnom. The same letters, minhag and Gehinnom.
