Q: How can a girl get a good shidduch when she can’t afford to get a big talmid chochom?

A: There are plenty of good boys around who don’t ask for much money – I’m telling you, I know. You want davka the kavod of a fellow who comes back from Eretz Yisroel with a certain label attached to him? Who said that label necessarily proves that he’s a good bochur? I know a case of a great adam gadol who took an eidim, a son-in-law who was famous as an illuy. And then the trouble began.

An iluy is a very big responsibility. Also not all iluyim are normal. And the fights began with the wife – it was a battle. And then they separated and there were din torahs, and kol koreihs, and pashkavilin. Oh, it was terrible thing till they finally got rid of each other. And they paid a tremendous price to get that boy!

So look for a bochur who is a ba’al middos tovos, and you’ll find somebody – Hakodosh Boruch Hu will help you.

Of course you must save money for your daughters. That was part of my talk today. You should save money for your daughter. You have to save money for yourself for your old age; you should have insurance, why not? Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants you to take care of yourself. So you should also save money for your daughter too.

But in case you didn’t save a million dollars for your daughter and you can’t get the million dollar boy, so forget about him – there are other boys that will be satisfied with a much smaller amount.

So בטח בהשם ועשה טוב שכון ארץ ורעה אמונה – You trust in Hashem and do what’s right and He’ll take care of you. You’ll end up having nachas from your daughter and your grandchildren.

TAPE # E-39 (November 1995)