The term “middle class” has been thrown around for as long as I can remember to describe a family which makes enough to get by but not quite enough to be considered wealthy. Such families generally consisted of a parent or parents who held stable jobs with decent wages and earning potential. While the general definition of middle class hasn’t changed, the harsh reality is that being in the “middle class” doesn’t quite cut it anymore. Even with both parents holding down decent-paying jobs, many families are finding it hard to get by comfortably, and nearly impossible to put away some money in savings.
This is because while prices continue to rise and basic style of living becomes more extravagant relative to years and eras past, wages have not risen. Economists have been stumped as to why this phenomenon exists – with a booming economy, a stock market that has soared for a decade, and a robust workforce, wages should, by economic logic, be rising steadily. Yet they are not. This is not the place to delve into why that is, but it is the reality we live with, and it makes the lives of hardworking people harder yet. A friend of mine who works as an investment advisor has told me that the average Lakewood person, who represent the majority of his client base, are often unable to stash away $50 a month to finance future major expenses, such as weddings.
There has been an increase in the polarization of spending potential in our community, with a handful of very successful individuals sailing by, whether by merit of money they get from parents or from their own hard work, and on the opposite end are the majority of Lakewood residents who don’t earn enough to swipe a credit card without giving it some thought, and struggle to get by even with their “middle class” income. The true middle class in the frum community are those that earn over $100,000, far above the national average, and are able to pay for tuition, summer camp, etc., etc. without breaking into a sweat. But this true middle class is small and most residents don’t fall into that category. Generally, people find themselves on either side of the middle class – either earning far more or substantially less, with the overwhelming majority being below the true middle class earning line.
But even with a majority segment of the population being below the “comfortable line”, the well-off residents seem to be setting the standard for what is considered “average living”. And with those well-off individuals willing to spend sizable sums of money to live a more comfortable lifestyle, vendors have raised their prices. This has had a severe negative impact on those that can’t afford a rise in prices. My intent is not to blame the well-off people, nor am I suggesting that they are doing something wrong; I am simply stating the facts as I [and many others] see it.
So what is the best option to combat ever-higher costs? It isn’t fair to lay blame at the feet of vendors – they are doing their best to make a living. I don’t feel fingers should be pointed at people that spend moderate amounts of money to give themselves and their families a more enjoyable life (I know this is disputable and there is much to say about this, but I will refrain from doing so in this particular piece). Creating an environment in which bosses (often financially constrained themselves) pay more to their employees is too great a challenge because this is a problem on the national level, not only the local or regional level.
Rather, I believe a mindset change is necessary. Twenty years ago, people were comfortable living simpler lifestyles – that should become the norm again. There is no reason or need to succumb to peer pressure about having a larger home, a fancier car, or even sending kids to day camps that come with all the bells and whistles of a luxury getaway. Simple is nice, simple is better.
Of course this would be extremely difficult for one or even several families to pull off. A broader, more synchronized changing of the ‘spend more’ attitude would need to come from communal leaders, from rebbeim, from ravs, and others whose words people would heed.
Until then, I fear we will continue to see evermore unsustainable rises to “middle class” lifestyles.
If you have a comment or idea you feel would be beneficial to this conversation, please post it in the comments section. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Welcome to today lifestyle where people are wasting THOUSANDS of dollars on unnecessary items and them wondering why they are going broke.
“STOP LIVING IN DENIAL & START FACING REALITY”
live with one sentence throughout life and you will always be happy
“GET WHAT YOU NEED NOT WHAT YOU WANT”
We can all go on vacation were all human and need a vacation but to go broke on thousands of dollars credit card bills is crazy.
Very sad today that someone with their house in foreclosure has a choice either go on vacation and lose house or no vacation and keep your home. Many people are choosing to go on that 1 week crazy vacation. That’s insane.
I choose to keep my family with a roof over their heads
So here’s my two cents to add to the above very well written article.
In all other societies people know how much money they make and what “group” they belong to. Meaning there are low income neighborhoods and high income neighborhoods. In all other societies the two never mix. The rich are friends with the rich, send to rich schools, shop in stores for the rich and go to summer camps for the rich. And vice Versa.
However, in our societies the two are intertwined. We go to the same schools. We shop at the same stores and live in the same neighborhoods. Better yet, we go to the same Shuls and sit right next to each other!
On one hand it’s an incredible thing that we live together as one and our respect for each other is not dependent on how much money is on our bank account. On the other hand, it can, and we see it does, cause extreme peer pressure and jealousy. We thing to ourselves “if he/she could do/purchase that, why can’t I? We daven in the same shul! We send to the same Morah! I could do that too!”
Some food for thought. Yes, we live together and we have an incredible thing that we live together and respect each other not merely based on our income bracket. However let’s realize, we are all blessed in own way!! We all have what it takes to make us the best person that we can be!
Let’s live together and respect each other for who we are:)
I believe I speak for many ‘middle class’ Lakewood families when I say that your suggestions are already being implemented. Most of us do not go on any or many vacations, definitely nothing ‘luxurious’, we spend on day camp as it’s a necessity if we work and are not looking for fancy cars and houses, just ones that are sufficient for our needs. Still, things are tight as we bh have lots of expenses. Anyone agree?
100,000$ ‘s is no way near enough to pay tuition for a few children, medical insurance,camps , mortgage , braces etc…. Medical insurance alone is 25k and tuition for a large family is at least 50k !!! (Think boys in a dorm mesivta ) so there is no way that a Frum family can make it by on 100,000 ! Too rich for programs but to poor to actually afford necessities. A Frum family needs at least 250,000 to make it comfortably this is not including fancy vacations and luxury cars! This is just for normal middle class living! 250k is the the Jewish 100k
To busymom – $100,000 Is actually not too rich for programs. A family of six can be earning around $120,000 And still be eligible. A larger family can be earning even more.
@trying our best, I agree. Both my husband and I work, and we def have to cut corners all the time to make it. We rarely on vacations, the last time.being four years ago. We donbh pay our tuition and that is a priority. I have two shaitels, both under $1000. My children use their coats and briefcases for minimum of two years, and we always use hand me downs. Our mishloach Manos costs us less than $2.00 a piece. We do give “small” checks tomteachers( although some would probably consider the amount below their dignity- but we do what we can). We do not put away money monthly which is unfortunate, but we don’t have extra at ns of month
In other words we still have to stick to a strict budget and be careful with whatever we buy/do. MAybe that’s why we can bh afford our tuitions. But doesn’t leave much breathing space or extras that the kids always want.
Solution is, be comfortable wih who you are and with what you have and don’t live up to other people standards! That should take care of all your problem!
We need a very large tuition fund to help pay for tuition. B”H there is alot of money going to tzadaka. Why not help pay for tuition for our own poor families. This will definitely be a good starting point. Why not make a go fund me or charity campaign. They are a very effective way to raise funds.
We are from the poor middle class of always working hard and never having a penny to breathe. We can’t pay our grocery bills tuition day camp or credit card and are always drowning in expenses and don’t know where to spend the money first. We’re making too much for progress and sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it and why I even bother working so hard. We literally can’t survive without tzedaka and can’t figure out how to get out of this. We don’t own our home and don’t buy anything extra ever but can’t seem to figure it out! Everyone around us seems to be making millions and living an extravagant lifestyle and it’s so painful not to be able to afford the bare basics and not to have to think 100 times and make all kinds of cheshbonos before spending a penny and being one step ahead of the bank. Middle class is poor!
There are plenty of people who are poor and don’t pay tuition or someone collects on their behalf. It’s the middle class that are stuggling, but no tuition fund would help them. After all they “have money”.
And mind you, tuition is the first thing they should be paying. Maybe make a fund for their vacations, clothing etc. And we are not even getting to those who make chasunos WAY above their standarss bc they are after all working etc!!!!!
100k is no where near enough!! Me and my husband both work full time jobs and get around 120k a year. We have three kids. We pay for eveything! Full tutuions health insurace etc. we dont live an extravagant life at all. And we still rent. We live month to month and cant put money away for a house. And yet the ppl making less then us on programs are somehow able to buy houses. Please someone explain.
120K should work in normal instances…. Did you shop around for cheaper health insurance like liberty? If you are shopping in frum stores spending $80+ on each shabbos outfit and $40+ on weekday and buying yourself lots new clothes, it will add up.
The real reason so many of us are under water is due to property taxes, tuition & basic summer camp. There’s no room to cut corners for many of us.
Marrying off children also comes with non negotiable costs.
There is no solution I know of alpi teva.
To middle class – I’ll explain how we are earning less and bought a house. We only bought a house that We could afford. It’s 1200 sq feet with one bathroom. And we have 4 kids.
So why did you buy the house?! You could rent a basement for less!
Rabbosai, this is a very serious and sometimes sad reality of our communities. However, many ppl read these posts and it may best not to mention $$ amounts and other pratim on this forum. Keep it vague; we know what you’re trying to say.
Hatzlocha Rabbah.
Maybe if the Democrats in Trenton would live in their means and NOT raise our taxes every time they over spend we would have more money to spend on ourselves.
Just a thought.
When somebody decides to build their dream home or lease that “in” luxury car, the ripple effects it has on their social environment is immense. They are עתיד ליצן את הדין.
Al Pi Teva it makes no sense, kaH with big families. We all need to get onto the BITACHON train. Hashlaich Al Hashme Yehovcha VHU yechalkilecha!!!!! You can call the bitachon hotline for chizuk, it turned my mindset around. Hashem is always there for us. Now when the big expenses come up i worry a little but catch myself and trust Hashem that he will show us how to figure it out! Hisyatzvu U’reu Es Yeshuas Hashem! The yeshua has come again and again!
Has anyone considered that part of the answer may be taxes. We speak about people making 120k but their actual take home pay is wayyy less after federal, state and payroll taxes are witheld. We dont even realize how much we are paying and then we feel like we MADE money when we get a refund on our tax return. Then we pay property taxes and sales tax for thousands and thousands more. I don’t think its an exaggeration to say that someone making 120k gives half their money to federal state and local taxes.
The problem is we have large families and most of our income goes towards tuition,food etc it doesn’t matter if u pay any taxes or not ur bound to struggle if u dodnt make 280k a year it’s just simple math.
Last year, I was the “sample case” in a local budgeting training. I was sure that all the listeners would tell me where to cut. Instead, they agreed that I was pretty thrifty and that K”ah, a family today needs to make a lot of money to “make it work with just the basics.”