I must be getting old. I don’t remember my sensitivities changing, but perhaps the transition is occurring so slowly that I don’t even realize it. But I’m not that old and I’m not so sure I’ve become more sensitive. But it does seem to me that things have changed; things seem to be different. This goes for many things, but specifically in regards to weddings.
As a child I loved going to weddings. A colossal (in a child’s eyes) hall, a massive amount of people, the singing and dancing, and the festive atmosphere made attending weddings something that I looked forward to. But things were different then. Weddings just don’t have the same excitement to me anymore. And it’s not because I’m older or due to having attended so many weddings. It’s because the average wedding has changed.
I feel like when I attended weddings when I was younger, the celebration was about those that were supposed to be celebrated – the chosson and kallah. Nowadays, it sometimes seems unclear. Is it the new couple, the band, the singer? Is it the DJ playing music that can’t be danced to? Or are we just dancing for the sake of dancing?
I know, I’m old and out of touch. But really, I’m not. I believe it has truly gotten more difficult, upon attending the average wedding, to know what is being celebrated. If a stranger walked in, would they know it was a wedding and not a nightclub? With the amount of techno/trap/new age music blaring, couple with disco balls and whatever other lighting insanities they have these days, I’m not quite sure someone could make out the difference without knowing beforehand that it’s a wedding.
But of course you can tell it’s a wedding, right? Right, you can, because there’s a girl in a white dress and a beaming young man. But that shouldn’t be how you know the difference. It should be evident from the celebration itself, and the fact that it isn’t, is quite sad.
When did things become this way? When did we lose the sensitivity regarding our most holy of institutions, marriage? Matrimony is supposed to be a time of holiness, of tasteful celebration. We cover the kallah’s face to hide it from all but her husband – it’s a matter of tznius. Yet, moments after her face is uncovered, we throw it all away by way of blasting hip-hop loud enough to bust eardrums.
I just don’t get it.