LET’S PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE: IT’S TIME TO RETHINK THE SEMINARY CALENDAR.
Think About What We Are Asking of These Girls
Imagine being a 17- or 18-year-old girl traveling 5,000 miles away from home, entering a completely new country, school, and social environment, and trying to find your place.
And then, within the first week, comes Rosh Hashana.
Suddenly, she must figure out where to daven, whether she needs to buy a seat, where she will eat, who she will be with, and how she will get there. Some seminaries are far from the areas where these arrangements are available, forcing girls to pack up and relocate almost as soon as they arrive.
A few days later comes Yom Kippur, followed by Sukkos and an entire week of additional arrangements.
These girls are eating meals with people they barely know, often in environments very different from the homes they grew up in. While many families graciously open their homes, not every arrangement is appropriate. Some girls find themselves at meals with large groups of bochurim, sometimes even intoxicated bochurim. Others are forced to rent apartments because their seminaries close for all seven days of Sukkos.
Think about that. An 18-year-old girl has just arrived in a foreign country and is expected to navigate all of this on her own, before she has even had a chance to settle in.
Meanwhile, she is still trying to make friends, get to know her teachers, adjust to a new environment.
Is this really how we want a bas Yisroel to spend her Yom Tov going from meal to meal, eating in places she doesn’t belong, and wandering the streets of Eretz Yisroel late at night?
Does This Really Make Sense?
We send girls 5,000 miles from home for five days of school, only to leave them to fend for themselves through weeks of Yom Tov.
Is that really the best way to structure the year?
This is not about blaming any one seminary, family, or host. It is about recognizing that the system creates an unnecessary burden during what is already a major life transition.
We can do better.
There Is a Practical Solution
What if the official seminary year simply began two days after Sukkos?
Parents who want their daughters to experience Sukkos in Eretz Yisroel could still arrange for them to arrive early and stay with relatives or trusted friends. But girls would no longer be expected to navigate the entire Yom Tov season immediately upon arrival as part of their seminary schedule.
For everyone else, this would eliminate an enormous amount of unnecessary pressure.
And what about the lost school days? Seminaries could extend the school year by approximately two weeks at the end. They could also consider starting the learning before the girls arrive in Eretz Yisroel, with a staff member flying to America to give a few introductory classes, supplemented by Zoom classes to help the girls get into the proper Yom Tov atmosphere.
Instead of rushing into five days of school followed by weeks of uncertainty, the girls could begin their seminary experience when they are settled and ready to benefit from it.
This is not a complicated proposal. It is a practical adjustment that could make a meaningful difference.
The Conversation We Need to Have
We need to ask ourselves honestly: Is this really how we want our daughters to spend Yom Tov?
We should not be afraid to reconsider a schedule simply because it is what we have always done.
Sometimes, the answer is simple: It’s time to rethink the system.
Let’s put things in perspective. Let’s make seminary make sense for the girls.
Rabbi Moshe Dovid Perlstein
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it sounds like your major concern is not that they are on their own to fend for themselves because they also do that for 2-3 weeks pessach time. It sounds like your primary concern is that they have to do it with in a week or two of arrival before they have a chance to make friends, get to know the Israeli transportation system and safely find a way to set themselves for yuntif.
This year was a bit of an extreme case because was so early. Next year RH starts in October. If you would wait for Sukkos to be over the girls wouldn’t come till November.
The Lakewood Scoop will be printing counter article about 100’s of girls in every city who have nothing to do before yuntif other than eat in eateries and shop because they don’t have school for 2 months and cant get a job for a month before yuntif.
Maybe the schools could start a week earlier on a year like this year.
Some of the schools don’t close the dorms during sukkos so the girls always have a place to be.
Each girl chooses to deal with the situation differently.
I don’t see having the girls come in November as an appropriate answer to this concern.
I don’t think the concern warrants this response.
I think that’s an excellent idea! My girls and my granddaughters always had someone to go to, but most girls don’t. Yes, they’ll lose out on the experience of being in EY for Yomim Noraim and Succos, but it’ll be so much less stressful. (And the airline tickets will likely be cheaper too)
Who asked the parents to send to seminary? They knew what they were getting in to before they sent them! This is what they signed up for!parents should make a wise decision before sending them to seminary ! Don’t complain after the fact when you knew this in the beginning!
Girls seminaries in Israel are a profitable business when done correctly. By stiffing the costumer, they make more profit. By being misleading, they make more profit. By throwing themselves (the unsuspecting naive seminary girls) at poor local kollel residents without any compensation is mamesh rishus. The seminaries should not be so Frum and “well meaning”………………… …… .. ………on yenims cheshbon. But don’t worry. Yesh din viyesh Dayan. Eventually everyone gets what’s coming to them. They can be greedy and on top of the world now, but life is a cycle.
If im not mistaken, this was written by someone who owns a seminary in israel. If he feels so strongly about this, let him be the trailblazer.
If you daughter is travelling across the world, stop treating her like a baby. Let her experience a little bit of real life. She doesn’t need to be coddled her whole life.
Wait… is this rabbi perlstein from zimras?? Is someone just using a name that’s not theirs?
of course the seminary set up for shabbos and yt is ridiculous! I don’t know why everyone falls for it??
I heard people say they want the girls to experience shabbos in homes of people who live there but I’ve spoken to people who really resent it. They don’t like that they have the pressure of having to have girls over so they can have the experience.
The minute they find an American family, they beg for a meal so how is that having the true experience anyway?
and there are seminary girls running around hefker all over geula swiping credit cards all day.
Take your daughter to ey if you want her to have the experience but doesn’t everyone realize that they are paying thousands of dollars to the seminaries and the schools are sending the girls out on their own for shabbos and yt and telling them to work things out?!
when will everyone come to their senses???
Figuring things out in life is actually amazing and that’s what life is all about.
seminary is a waste of time and money that never comes back.
STOP SENDING TO SEMINARY IN ISRAEL!! It makes not a shred of sense on any level
Kreine de’igrisa ihu lemehave pravanka….
For those who don’t know what I’m referring to look up rashi in parshas balak/pinchus.
While I agree with the issue of the girls needing to get their own meals so early on in Seminary. I believe for the $35000 I am paying that meals should be provided for the Yomin Tovim including Succos. It is not fair to make the girls run around to fend for themselves…
A) i would think a girl who’s 18 and ready for marriage, knows what shes flying into (pun intended)and can arrange some of the things before her arrival) should be mature enough to arrange a seats and place to daven as well as setting herself up for yomtov
B)are you ready to lower the tuition costs for starting a month later as well?just saying…