Jackson Authorities Warn Local Residents: “UFOs, A.K.A. ‘Unidentified Floating Objects’, Might Be Floating Around Your Water Pipes!”
The MUA issued an urgent warning today to Jackson Township authorities saying that UFOs, otherwise known as Unidentified Floating Objects, might be floating around property owners’ water supply pipes as part of a massive water-invasion and a concerted effort to conceal themselves inside the pipes.
“We do not know when the unidentified floating objects (UFOs) first arrived on our planet or when they first landed upon Jackson’s water supplies,” the MUA told local authorities. “Moreover, we do not know why they’ve suddenly decided to invade our sinks, sewers and water tanks, or whether these alien creatures pose a threat to our town’s water supplies. But ultimately Jackson residents would be well advised to steer clear of the UFOs (Unidentified Floating Objects) and to refrain from consuming any local water supplies until all of our concerns have been addressed.”
Jackson authorities tried to reach out to the UFOs (Unidentified Floating Objects) today via underwater text messaging technology, to no avail.
“We’ll wait till the UFOs come up for a breath of air,” the MUA said, “and then we’ll interrogate these alien water creatures at length.”