By Ayala Feigenbaum. As someone who is lucky enough to live in Yerushalayim, I can truthfully testify that this year, between Yom Kippur and Sukkos, Yerushalayim looked like the 51st state of the United States.
It was amazing to see Yerushalayim so full of people after the last three years, and great to see people feel safe coming here again.
But there is one point I would like to bring out to the Americans who came to spend Yom Tov here. I’m not writing this in a judgmental way, chas v’shalom. I would just like to make a point.
Before the Yamim Tovim, I’m B”H zoche to distribute funds to families in Ramat Shlomo, where I live. These are families who, without the help of generous people, would not be able to put food on their tables on Yom Tov, and I wish I could say I’m exaggerating.
But I’m not.
For some reason, this year was harder than others. Perhaps it’s because of the combination of the weak dollar, which impacted many tzedakah organizations, and the rising prices in Israel. Whatever the reason, I know that struggling families in Ramat Shlomo, for example, received 1,000 shekels per couple, plus 150 shekels per child. So a family with 10 kids received 2,500 shekels (around $830) from the Ramat Shlomo Kupa to prepare for both Rosh Hashana and Sukkos.
I found myself getting phone calls throughout the month from women who were desperate to prepare a Yom Tov meal that would feed their families generously enough, but they couldn’t do so with the meager amounts they received from the local tzedakah organizations. Too many families in Eretz Yisroel struggled this Yom Tov.
Why am I writing this?
When you come to Eretz Yisroel for Sukkos and spend huge amounts of money on catering, wine, live music, cleaning help, etc., your Israeli neighbors notice it.
It’s nice to see your neighbors enjoying themselves over Yom Tov, but when these are families who don’t know how they will be able to go shopping at the supermarket before Simchas Torah, it hurts.
I got a phone call from a young almana on Thursday of Chol Hamoed at 11:00 a.m. She asked me if I could lend her eight potatoes. I was confused because she doesn’t live so close to me, but I told her that sure, no problem, and that she should send someone over to get the potatoes.
When I hung up the phone, I realized that she was probably asking for help. She needed money for food for the second days but felt uncomfortable saying, “Ayala, give me money,” so she asked indirectly.
I called her back and asked her if I could take her shopping, to which she responded, “That would be a lifesaver. The kids didn’t stop eating the whole week, and my house is completely empty.”
When I came to pick her up, I went up to have a coffee with her for a few minutes. When she opened the fridge to take out the milk, I saw an empty fridge.
Oh, there were a few eggs and some spices, milk, and some zucchinis, but not much more.
It’s a scary sight to behold in any house, especially in a house where there are young children and teens who are constantly hungry.
Now, let’s imagine this family has an American family staying in their building over Sukkos.
They see huge amounts of food and wine deliveries coming to this American family and spend their Chol Hamoed hearing live music and parties at all hours of the day and night.
It’s hard, and not because they don’t fargin. Just because.
I have no doubt that any Yid who can afford to do so gives tzedakah, because Am Yisroel is כולו טוב וחסד. I can personally vouch that a huge amount of the tzedakah I gave out before Yom Tov came from Lakewood.
You may be reading this and thinking, “I gave to mosdos X, Y, and Z, and I also gave to Tomchei Shabbos where I live in the States.”
That’s amazing.
But the needy Israeli family watching your lavish Yom Tov doesn’t know that…
I’m not writing this to discourage people from coming here and making beautiful Yom Tovs. On the contrary, come and support the Israeli stores, vendors, and businesses, please!
But take a moment on Erev Yom Tov to call the local Kupa and say, “I’m staying in Jerusalem Estates, Rechavia, Ramat Eshkol, Sanhedria, Ramat Shlomo, etc. This is the address of the building I’m staying in. How many needy families are in this building or in the buildings next to mine?”
And make a donation to these families!
If you don’t want to give through the local Kupa, then go to the Rav of the shul and ask him if he can distribute money to the needy Israeli neighbors in your area.
You may be thinking, “My apartment is located in an area where everyone is wealthy.”
Maybe that’s true for the Upper East Side of Manhattan, but it doesn’t exist in Yerushalayim.
Wherever you are staying, I can assure you that there is a nice Jewish family near you who, upon receiving your donation, could literally cry tears of relief.
Again, the point of this piece is not to be critical of anyone, just to be an eye-opener. Erev Yom Tov is always so hectic that it’s easy not to think about people in the building whom you probably don’t even know.
But now, when things aren’t so hectic anymore, you can set yourself a reminder for next year. And, b’ezras Hashem, Moshiach will be here by then, and no one will need help or support!
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Beautiful letter.
i was just remembering when i was in E”Y in Yeshiva and a well to do family rented an apartment in my aunts building for the summer. at the end of the summer, they offered my aunt all the unused food in their pantry, fridge, and freezer. that can also be a huge help to your neighbors!
Gevirim spend Succos in Eretz Yisroel
Beninim spent Succos in Miami
Aneyim spent Succos in their Succah
Wow wow wow! So beautifully worded and a great message. Thank you
Send a link please so people can support now upon getting inspired by this beautiful letter!
https://www.matara.pro/nedarimplus/online/?mosad=5777258
just sent a small donation. Thank you! Tizku Limitzvos!
Thank you.
Please note the idea of this letter was not a fundraiser, rather the point was to raise awareness…
I anyhow attached the donation link -please see below.
Yashar koach!
https://www.matara.pro/nedarimplus/online/?mosad=5777258
this is horrible
what a letter! An actual non-condescending letter. Just a simple request!
I’m sorry. I think this needs to be said and the letter writer needs to understand what goes on here in America.
We Americans are so happy and proud of our brothers and sisters. Proud of the ones who choose to live in Eretz Yisroel and proud of those here in America who support the ones living in Eretz Yisroel.
To the letter writer and readers I ask you, do you have any idea what’s happening here in the States? The thousands of families HERE who cannot buy the basic food they need for Yom Tov? Who can’t get any new clothes? Cannot pay their bills? Are drowning in debt? Are living with levels of anxiety that are beyond unhealthy?
Do you know how hard it is to watch our American Yiddin with the biggest hearts in the world raise well over 150 MILLION dollars through Keren Olam Hatorah to support families in Eretz Yisroel when every local community Tomchei Shabbos in the USA is depleted of funds trying to help people here? Do you know how hard it is to get help here if you need it? Here’s just one of many examples – Flatbush has a community fund. An incredible organization of people in Flatbush working day and night to help people in Flatbush. They raised money to help families for Succos. They couldn’t raise what they needed but still gave out to so many families a grocery account of UNDER $500 per family!!!! Yes, correct, a family who needs to put food on their table was given less then $500 for food for the whole Tishrei of Yomim Tovim. Do you think that amount even covered the 1st days of Succos let alone everything else? And that’s a good story of a great organization trying to help.
We Americans must take care of our own. Our family, our siblings, our parents, our neighbors, our Shul, our community. The Americans traveling to Eretz Yisroel for Yom Tov and helping your economy there with all the wine and food and everything else you said they spend there have an obligation to take care of the people here first. Not in Eretz Yisroel first. HERE FIRST. If after they do everything they are able to for the people here and then they travel to Eretz Yisroel that’s wonderful for them and we are happy for them but please do not put Americans on a guilt trip about families in Eretz Yisroel. Yes, no question about it the people in Eretz Yisroel need it very much, it’s just the people in America do as well and there has to be priorities of where to give first. Ask your Rov who gets your charity first – the people here or the people there.
There is no “us” and “them” — only fellow Jews.
Correct.
In the Halachos of Tzedaka there is a machlokes whether עניי עירך קודמים or עניי ארץ ישראל קודמים.
So whichever way you prefer to give you have an opinion to rely on. But of course, using an “us versus them“ mentality should not be used since that will in effect diminish what people give to both.
As far as the original letter writer goes, what you do is noble and your call is warranted especially when directed towards people who are in ארץ ישראל over the Yomim Tovim.
I’m happy that you’ve acknowledged the economic benefit that the Yom Tov tourism brings the locals. A number of years back a relative told me that the only way they were able to afford Yomim Tovim That year was by moving in with her kids and renting out her apartment at tourism rates. While it was not Ideal, and enabled her to make Yom Tov without needing to rely on a handout.
According to many, Aniyim in eretz Yisroel are always part of Irchah.
Ananei ircha kodem.
Ey is considered ircha
I’m sorry, but i think you missed the point of the letter
Then stay in America
You might be correct, but I think you’re missing her point. She’d tell people who are visiting their neighbors in Brooklyn to do exactly what she’s asking those visiting Israel to do. If a wealthy person is staying in a buiding in Brooklyn and is noticeably spending a ton of money for their Yom Tov and their are others living there who have no food for Yom Tov, the wealthy fellow should research if there are those he can help. (Practicaly though it’s more noticable in Israel where the very wealthy Americans and very poor stay in the same buidlings for Yom Tov.)
well some Americans are in EY more than America or maybe just owning an apartment there itself creates a new concept of Aniyei Ircha or at least while they are staying there at that time the Aniyei Ircha are actually the people living in EY!! (food for thought)
He is right! we all must give and have bitachoin. take on Ameiles Btoirah or Tznius in a added area, like coming out a chiddush, or women not wearing tight clothing. this will remove the poverty from klal yisroel and bring the geulah.
People in your town come 1st.. Israel has plenty of wealthy that are non nassesary pro Torah Jews.. you need locals to step up and maybe consider selling that over 1 mil apartment… And moving to Haderah of such..
This is a very painful letter. Thank you for making us more aware.
Im not negating anything you say, but I am aware of Americans who come to Yerushalayim and don’t make noise and stay in simple apartments, who give thousands of dollars to some of the local neighborhood Kupas like Kupas Zichron Moshe ,Kupas Bais Yisroel ,and various others. There is many millions of dollars coming from chutz looretz yiden to support the various Kupas and various food distributions for every Yom Tov.
It’s the big gvirim that fly to Eretz Yisroel on their private planes, make a big splash simchas bais hashoaiva in their huge Succos, where every gadol is forced to attend, (deleted)
The gedolim aren’t forced to go anywhere. the gevirim make the rounds to the gedolim happily.
I second that.
as a matter of fact I’m one of those.
We’ve been to ey for yt and we keep the budget very low
no cleaning help, no lavish foods, we cherish the kedusha of ey
but yes, bc I’ve witnessed the poverty and desperation there I send large donations, probably more than I would have if not observing myself
אינו דומה שמיעה לראיה
great letter and ty for looking out for נצרכים
You cant really blame people if they are not aware of Kupas Ramat Shlomo. Many Americans woukd gladly give if they were aware of the Kupas Ramat Shlomo ,tge same way they are made aware of the other neighborhood Kupas
There’s no blame in the letter. The point of the letter is AWARENESS.
They are aware. They just choose to ignore. They came for a vacation. Not to give out money.
Speak for yourself. So many go with fortunes to give out.
Do you have a “shearis HaPlate” in ey, where very dedicated volunteers go to simchas and then give to people the leftovers who can’t afford to make simchas?
if yes, are they arranging that after the meals when there is so much leftovers to take them and give to the neighbors you are talking about?
if there is a system set up already that is great.
if not, then this can be a good solution of “zeh nahana v’zeh nahana”.
I know there are people who take people’s leftovers after yom tov but have not heard of people taking the tons of leftovers on yom tov that get thrown out.
Here is an opportunity for peopke to literally put “their money where their mouth is”.
it requires real dedication and time commitment as I see what they do in Monsey and Lakewood, where they pick up the food, organize what’s good and then give it out.
Keep in mind that you can even have ey people go right after first day and on second day to pick up the food as it is not yom tov for those living in ey & then people can have food for chol hamoad and the last day. And when they pick up for 2nd days, they can have for shabbosim after.
Yes, it is nice if people give money & many people already do so.
however here is a solution where the only thing needed are people who are dedicated to helping others. I think most people would be more then happy to give away their leftovers rather then it going in the garbage.
It is not easy and a lot of work, however the zecusim are there for the taking for anyone who wants it.
some people need food before theres leftovers though
We have a similar problem here in Lakewood, all year round. Many many families are struggling beyond imagination. No money for proper food, utilities, tuition etc. being forced to borrow from credit cards and paying 20+% on credit card interest. Children being told not to come to school until tuition is paid up. At the same time the child sitting next to them, has designer briefcase and shoes. Very hurtful. We as a kalal need a better system. Better values and better sensitiveity. If u want to send your child to school with upgrades perhaps u should offer it to every child in the school. As a community we need to ban designer clothes and everything else.
Beautiful letter and extremely well written.
Thank you for pointing this out in such a fine way!
Devastating to hear that some families got so little from local kupas on erev yomtov.
Is there a link to donate to Kupat Ramat Shlomo? Would be helpful.
Thank you so much.
The point of this letter was not a fundraiser rather to raise awareness.
But I’m anyhow attaching a link below.
Please see attached.
Yashar koach
https://www.matara.pro/nedarimplus/online/?mosad=5777258
If you would set up a way to donate with American funds through donors fund and Ojc etc , you wwould get much more. Many Americans have their tzedakah funds in one of those funds and can not give thru nedorim plus. Those Kupas that have US tax id are able to raise much more money because of that.
The Other Side of the Story: Wealthy Americans Spending Sukkos in Yerushalayim
A Response to Ayala Feigenbaum’s Letter
I believe Ayala is absolutely correct in expressing concern for struggling families in Yerushalayim. No Jewish family should have difficulty putting food on the table for Yom Tov while surrounded by visible wealth and luxury.
However, there is another side to this story that many Israelis may not fully understand.
First, the appearance of wealth does not necessarily reflect available cash.
Many Americans spending Sukkos in Yerushalayim are successful business owners whose companies generate millions of dollars annually. Their businesses accumulate substantial American Express and Chase credit card points through ordinary business expenditures.
These points often cover first-class airline tickets, luxury hotels, and other travel expenses. What appears to be a $30,000 or $50,000 vacation may require relatively little personal cash.
Furthermore, many business owners structure their finances to retain capital within their companies rather than withdraw large personal salaries or distributions. Depending on the business structure, additional withdrawals can create tax consequences. Their travel arrangements may therefore look far more expensive than their actual personal spending.
Second, many of these families have already contributed generously to tzedakah.
Wealthy American families often support local organizations in Lakewood, Brooklyn, Monsey, and other communities, while also contributing substantial amounts to American charities that distribute money directly to needy families in Eretz Yisroel.
Many give beyond maaser, and some even beyond chomesh. Their charitable commitments may already be considerable before they arrive for Yom Tov.
It is therefore unfair to assume that someone enjoying an expensive restaurant meal or staying in luxurious accommodations has neglected the needs of struggling families.
Third, much of American wealth is built on borrowed money.
This is especially true in real estate and healthcare, where owners may control tens of millions of dollars in assets while carrying enormous bank debt.
As borrowing costs remain elevated, refinancing becomes more difficult. Healthcare businesses face additional pressure because Medicaid reimbursements do not always keep pace with rising labor, insurance, food, and supply costs.
Some owners may eventually need to restructure their debt, sell properties, or surrender assets to lenders. Their apparent wealth may be far greater than their actual financial security.
Finally, the next five to ten years may look very different.
Artificial intelligence could dramatically reduce the value of many businesses and eliminate jobs that currently support the American economy. Combined with debt, inflationary pressures, and rising operating expenses, this creates considerable uncertainty.
I would not be surprised if fewer wealthy Americans travel to Yerushalayim for Sukkos in the coming years.
Some may recognize that today’s opportunities will not necessarily exist tomorrow. They have accumulated travel points, their businesses are still operating, and they want to enjoy a beautiful Yom Tov with their families while they can.
My Conclusion
Ayala’s message is important. Anyone who can help a struggling Jewish family should certainly do so, particularly when spending Yom Tov in the same neighborhood.
But we should not judge someone’s financial position or generosity by the luxury of his vacation.
Many of these Americans have already given substantial amounts to tzedakah, their travel may be financed largely through accumulated business rewards, and their apparent wealth may be tied up in heavily leveraged businesses facing an uncertain future.
A person can appear extraordinarily wealthy while having limited personal liquidity and substantial financial obligations.
The struggling Israeli family deserves our compassion and assistance. But the American visitor also deserves to be judged fairly, with an understanding of the financial realities behind what appears to be a luxurious lifestyle.
Encouraging generosity is appropriate. Assuming that visible luxury means unlimited available wealth is not.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
You are so right – from now on, no one is allowed to post pictures of their wife/husband/baby, for Chas Vishalom someone who is single should see feel left out.
Ridiculous on its face and pure jealously. American tourism brings in hundreds of millions of dollar to the Israeli economy, which is far more useful than protecting peoples feelings.
Dear Reb John, your post is very upsetting.
Guess you weren’t in Shul on Rosh Hashana to hear the Haftara of Chana and Penina (who really had good kavanos)- all about the extra sensitivity needed. Sounds to me like you missed the point of the letter.
Also not tznius. so makes it harder for those jealous. which can be married too.
I think this is such an important message and extremely well written.
Thank you for sharing and bringing awareness about this.
Beautiful letter- a suggestion to maybe post before next y’t with links to the various neighborhood kupot so that people can give to the neighborhood that they are staying in. I think it would be well received.
The Other Side of the Story: Americans Spending Sukkos in Yerushalayim
I agree with Ayala that struggling families in Yerushalayim deserve our attention and support. However, there is another side to the story.
Many wealthy Americans are business owners who accumulate enormous amounts of American Express and Chase reward points through business spending. Their first-class flights, luxury hotels, and other travel expenses may cost them relatively little personal cash.
Furthermore, many business owners keep their earnings invested in their companies rather than withdraw additional personal income, partly for tax-planning reasons.
Most importantly, many of these families already contribute substantial amounts to tzedakah, often well beyond maaser, supporting organizations in America and Eretz Yisroel.
Another reality is that much of American wealth is heavily leveraged. Banks finance enormous real estate and healthcare portfolios, while higher interest rates, rising expenses, and inadequate reimbursement increases are squeezing profits. Some owners may soon be forced to refinance, restructure, or sell their assets.
Looking ahead five to ten years, AI could eliminate many jobs and reduce the value of existing businesses, creating even greater financial uncertainty.
I would not be surprised if considerably fewer Americans spend Sukkos in Yerushalayim in the coming years. Some may be enjoying these opportunities now because they recognize that their financial circumstances could change dramatically.
My conclusion: Ayala is right that we must help struggling families. But expensive vacations do not necessarily mean unlimited cash or a lack of generosity. Many of these Americans have already given substantially to charity, travel largely on accumulated points, and carry enormous financial obligations.
We should encourage tzedakah without judging people’s wealth or generosity by the luxury we see on the outside.