Dear School Administration,

I am writing to express my deep frustration and concern about the pressure placed on parents to pay for outside therapy and other services intended to help children meet a particular standard of behavior, performance, or development.

Many families are already struggling to afford the basic necessities of life. Adding the expectation that parents must pay for private therapy creates an enormous financial burden. Where are parents supposed to find this money? How are families who are already stretched financially expected to pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars for additional services simply because the school believes their child needs to be “perfected”?

Children are not projects that need to be perfected. They are individuals, each with different personalities, abilities, learning styles, challenges, and strengths. The goal of education should be to teach, support, encourage, and help children grow—not to make every child conform to one particular idea of what a “perfect” student should look or behave like.

If a school believes that a child requires additional support in order to succeed in the school environment, then I believe the school has a responsibility to provide meaningful support and reasonable accommodations within the educational setting, rather than placing the financial responsibility entirely on families.

Parents should not have to choose between paying their household bills and paying for services that a school believes would make their child more acceptable or successful. Not every family has access to the same financial resources, and requiring expensive outside services can create an unfair divide between children whose parents can afford them and children whose parents cannot.

I would also ask the school to consider what message this sends to children. They should be taught that they are worthy and capable as they are—not that they need to be fixed in order to belong or succeed.

If the school truly believes that children need to be “perfected,” then perhaps the school should also be willing to take responsibility for providing the resources it believes are necessary to accomplish that goal, rather than expecting families to bear the cost.

Schools should consider incorporating therapeutic and life-skills support/lessons directly into the curriculum which is included in the tuition paid by the parents. This could include speech and language, social-skills development, organizational and executive-functioning skills, emotional regulation, and other areas that help students succeed both academically and personally. Providing this support within the school setting would make them more accessible to students and families while helping children develop the practical skills they need to thrive. You can consider it another subject and teach it to the whole class during the school day. I’m sure everyone can benefit from these lessons.

Parents would prefer you spend some time teaching children functioning skills and shorten other subjects so it is included in the tuition. We simply cant afford it in addition to tuition.

I respectfully ask the school to reconsider how these expectations are communicated to parents and to recognize the very real financial pressures families face. Our children need support, understanding, encouragement, and education—not the burden of being made to feel that they are somehow not good enough.

Sincerely,

Representing many parents