Dear TLS,
I literally overheard a conversation today that left me shaking my head.
Someone was describing their shidduch process and said they had told a girl’s family no because they didn’t like her last name. It didn’t sound Frum enough.
Seriously? Her last name?
She’ll be changing her name anyway, and this is what they’re worried about?
I’ve heard people say no for some pretty silly reasons, but this one was new to me. I was honestly shocked.
And then we wonder why there’s a shidduch crisis.
We’re talking about THOUSANDS of single girls in the Lakewood area alone who are past the usual shidduch age, and hundreds of single boys ages 27 to 30. There are so many people waiting, and a last name is what stops a suggestion before it gets anywhere?
People say no over the silliest things, and then wonder why no more shidduchim are being redt to them. Who knows if they already said no to their bashert over something like this?
Some people really miss the boat.
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I hope this is a joke and not a real story..
Imagine deciding that a whole crisis is due to a single persons conversation that you overheard in shul.
We all know numerous silly stories such as this one.
The shidduch crisis is totally man made!!
“We don’t want a girl who went to bnos sprintzy!” Girls is out of seminary for 6 years.
“I’m not looking into this girl because I saw a family picture and her brother doesn’t wear a hat.”
Ask anyone who tried to red a shidduch and you’ll get similar stories. I’ve heard plenty.
They were honest Mccormick just wasn’t the gal for them
That’s not the reason why there’s a shidduch crisis. Only one girl can marry this foolish boy and how many people are saying no because of a last name. Probably not many. In my opinion there’s many other reasons to blame the shidduch crisis on. This I believe is what’s having the biggest affect on the crisis and it’s overweight girls. These girls go to seminary and just don’t stop eating and they come back looking like a hot air balloon ready to bust. I hosted different groups of them for many shabbos meals when I lived on rechov malachi. I’m telling you I couldn’t believe what I saw in front of my eyes. These girls practically ate their plates. Now go wonder why there’s a shidduch crisis. These girls in seminary have to learn they didn’t go on a food journey they went to grow in yoddishkeit not in shirt and skirt sizes. This needs attention ASAP.
Sometimes people’s instinct tells them to say no, and they need a palpable reason, so they something stupid, but it’s normally something more meaningful.
People should stop asking for reasons why a shidduch was declined. Sometimes it’s just a feeling (as LkwdResident said). If a shidduch is declined, that should be the end of the conversation. People should respect that.
Makes sense: HaShem made all different types of people, some are dying to get married asap; some want to get married but take their time, & some have absolutely no interest in ever getting married whom are these people whom will use any silly, senseless excuse to get out of it, these people will either never get married or some get married in their 70’s of which they will be each others old age aids more than a marriage partner.
In my place about 60 people a day come in, I could write a huge book on the different types, but many people I could never figure them out.