To the TLS readers:
As the summer season is in full swing, many families are enjoying well-earned vacations and making wonderful memories together. Baruch Hashem, those who have the opportunity to get away should appreciate the bracha and enjoy their time.
At the same time, I’d like to offer a gentle reminder for all of us to be mindful of others.
There are many families who, for financial reasons or other personal circumstances, simply cannot take vacations. Some are struggling to cover basic expenses, while others are dealing with illness, family challenges, or situations that make traveling impossible. For them, seeing a constant stream of vacation photos and updates across WhatsApp statuses, social media, and even family chats can be painful and create unnecessary agmas nefesh.
This isn’t a call for anyone to stop enjoying themselves or to hide their simcha. Rather, it’s an appeal to exercise sensitivity. Not every beautiful moment needs to be broadcast. Sometimes, choosing to share a little less is an act of kindness toward those who may be hurting quietly.
Our community prides itself on caring for one another. Just as we are careful with our words, we should also be thoughtful about what we choose to display publicly. A little consideration can go a long way.
May we all continue to appreciate the blessings Hashem gives us while remaining sensitive to the feelings of those around us.
A simple resident
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Why? Let the rich people be rich. Let the poor people know that they’re poor. Basically we don’t need takonos. Poor people should be aware of what they can afford and stop collecting to go on vacation or for a wedding.
They can be rich without flaunting it in everyone else’s face.
Is this a fake comment… I hope so… how?! can you be so insensitive by saying “Let the poor people know they’re poor”?! Disgusting comment!~
It’s more complicated than that. First, everyone is rich – eizehu ashir… Second, you’re talking about yeshiva families, but no one wants to come across as poor, as you’re saying, so they may feel they need to keep to a certain standard.
But you have a point, let people show pics (if they want) of boating here on the lake, walking the magnificent paths and bridges around it, and davening at new “exotic” shuls etc, and then, those who spent thousands on vacation – and a lot of traveling in cars or planes – will wonder why they did so, and THEY will be writing these letters to please stop – that it’s not right when they feel they wasted their time and money.
OK, that’s obviously not the goal, but such pictures would really be for those who are on the fence to realize how many nice things are right here in your own backyard.
Enjoy the summer!
Since when does Eizehu Ashir mean everyone is rich? I wish it were so but sadly there are still some who are not Sameiach B’Chelko (as evidenced by the proliferation of therapists and psychologists)
Well said!!! You have summed up our “frum” culture very well. Rich people are far more important than the poor. The poor should just keep quiet and be grateful we allow them live.
There’s no ‘rich people’ and ‘poor people’ . Everyone is rich in some ways and poor in other ways.
I have enough on plate trying to run my own life. How does anyone have energy trying to run other people’s lives??
Non-sequitur
1000%.
והצנע לכת עם אלקיך.
The whole idea of social
media is the real issue here. There will always be those that will be doing something ‘better’ than what you do. If you expose yourself to that constant thread of information you will always have agmas nefesh.
Goose ABSOLUTELY AGREES with this writer 💯%!!!!
The truth is, most of the time, when people broadcast their vacations it comes from a place of insecurity but Goose never tells anyone where he is for this exact reason!
Gossage out!
wow! the Goose! Brings back memories of the great closer!
Not so fast. How did that 1984 world series work out, eh?
You are just upset because Mariano Rivera was more popular than you were.
Hello fellow simple person!! I am in the same boat as you and I completely agree with every word you said!
However, let me offer you some sound advice on how to live a happier more fulfilling life with the brachos that Hashem has given you. I am not saying this to be condecending, to mock you in any way, or to minimize your feelings, believe me I totally understand what you are feeling! My husband and I both work and can not take off weeks on end when different kids are out of school/camp at different times. That’s when we pay through the roof for extra camps and babysitting and call on friends for favors. It’s an ick feeling to have to be the schnorrer of another person’s kindness when they take your kid for a week so you can work!
I say this because it is a sure way to see the bracha that Hashem has given you and to live a happier life. Ain domeh shmiah l’reiyah (there is no comparison between hearing about something to actually looking at it) so DON’T LOOK! Get rid of all your social media, instagram, whatsapp status, etc. Ignorance is BLISS!! The only thing you accomplish by looking at everyone else’s life is making yourself miserable, so why do that to yourself?? I got rid of all my social media three years ago and never looked back!
Then when your kids come to you to tell you that Shprintzy went to Florida for vacation and why can’t we go, you will be able to look your kid in the eyes and honestly say (and your kids will feel that you are genuine and you mean it!), ‘I’m so happy for Shprintzy and her family, look at all the fun things we are doing at home!’.
Try not looking for a week and see the difference! You will not regret it.
Wishing you a wonderful rest of the summer,
Your fellow non-vacationer 🙂
I agree 100%. If you want to share pictures or videos with family or friends, send them through email if they ask to see them.
I have no status and no WhatsApp so I don’t know (and don’t care) about anyone’s post. Get off social media and you’ll be just fine.
Because your family and children won’t hear about this in shul, camp, yeshiva and the street etc? basically your idea as a solution, is like saying that because hamas terrorism doesn’t affect you in Lakewood personally, it’s not something for you to be concerned about.
You can klerr (think about it). Maybe there is a difference – because social media is something everyone has bechira (ability of choice) to use or not, but Hamas terrorism, hmm, that’s getting complicated:
Facts: A) The medina “opened” the gates and welcomed them in! It was physically impossible for even a bird to get near the fence without triggering multiple alarms. A retired army colonel questioned this immediately, and three generals resigned a year after “Oct 7”. (They said they’re resigning only because of the poor response, and they reject “conspiracy theories”, but you get the idea.)
B) It was the Medina that originally armed Hamas (to fight Fata in Gaza).
I don’t know about “A” but “B” is spot on. Israel helped to create Hamas and encourged their development as a counter-balance to the PLO (divide and conquer).
Thank you for this letter. I would add to that- I am not traveling this year because I am in aveilus, and I am sure there are others who can’t travel due to health reasons, family situations etc. While I am happy that others can travel (and might even enjoy the pictures myself), I agree that it is more sensitive not to post pictures of travel (especially to exotic locations…). As Yidden we should be more sensitive and more considerate of the feelings of others, and I don’t see that the upside of some people enjoying the pictures overrides the downside of possibly really hurting others. Also as Yidden we don’t tell people to “get over it” or “if you’re jealous, don’t look” when we can be more sensitive and just not post these things publicly.
Almost NOTHING needs to be public. Unfortunately, that’s a value that seems to be a victim of modern times.
So many seem to have forgotten the meaning of Mah Tovu.
Not sure that posting is so terrible. It’s gives the gevirim something to feel good about. If not that, they are busy bullying others and doing much worse things with their money. Human nature is to want to feel good about anything you have. At least it’s just a silly vacation that lasts maybe a day. My thought process is that hashem gives money to those he feels need it to survive. BH I don’t.
Bad middos breeds more bad midos. Sensitivity to others is a basic Torah ideal.
It’s not the Gvirim that post. It’s those that want to feel wealthy that o the posting. When was the last time you saw a picture of a schron on vacation?
EXACTLY!
hey calm down, you’re nervous.
למה תתראו
AGREE 1000%…Kol Hakavod!
Simple Resident:
Not every one of your personal issues needs to be public.
You and 100’s (at least) of other families (including mine) can’t afford to get away and we’re breaking our backs to stay above water.
My kids are very happy staying in Lakewood, and on one hand we are happy for our friends and neighbors who can get away and on the other hand we are happy for ourselves that we don’t NEED it like others do.
You can choose for yourself where you want to be on this topic. But a letter to The Scoop? Get a real friend if you need to vent.
1000%
Social media let’s everyone know you are not home. Posting pictures of your kids is not smart. Social media is not safe and you make yourself and family vulnerable to Chas V’Shalom criminals of all stripes.
I’m not a major fan of social media, but your comment has me confused: Isn’t it a private family chat that they’re posting on? Are people posting picts for the public?! Was that the question?! If for public, why, are they so famous they have to become more famous? Or maybe they think they represent ‘Kllal Yisroel mishpacha?’
R’ Ephrayim Wachsman spoke a few years ago in BMG about public types of posting, and mentioned a fellow who sent a bar mitzvah invitation for his son’s bar mitzvah to 1,000 people! He condemned that. Good things are supposed to be kept private [to a normal sense of family and close friends]. (Is that why BMG is on Private Way?!:)
He also mentioned that when Rubashkin was freed, a fellow said he thought his phone would explode. Within ten minutes, he got constant messages from various sources telling the good news. He said that maybe in this case it’s different, since it’s something special, but still he said, ‘before forwarding a message, think, just as I know it, someone else probably does too, and if it takes him another few minutes to find out, what will be?!’
In short, a person should know he’s great, and find true chassadim to do. Think about those who would truly appreciate getting a message from you. Alternatively, you can share general picts of Niflaos Haborei (Wonders of the Creator), but it doesn’t have to “prove” you were there.
Obviously people shouldn’t show off. That goes without saying. However there is an element in this letter I have heard around Lakewood for years now that touches upon the issue people have with farginning. Just because you can’t afford something, it doesn’t mean nobody else can have it. It has nothing to do with you. The author of this letter needs to brush up on their emunah and bitachon and learn that if they don’t have a vacation, it is because it was not Hashem’s will. What someone else has HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
Does that apply to those arrogant people that build these in-your-face monster mansions on East 7th, 8th, 9th, & 10th Streets in Midwood/Flatbush?! At the end of the day, they’re going to die and be put in the ground just like all of us. Nobody lives forever, even those that live in monster mansions.
Good question, but he [apparently] can afford it, and it may be toned down compared to what they can afford, and they most certainly give much tzedaka (charity) too. They also know it’s a billboard for meshulchaim (solicitors)!
But yes, it is something to take into account, especially when designing the front of the house. But some people have a mentality that they’re doing the world a favor to make the front look very nice too. Fargin them (be happy for them), and maybe even think of some nice chassadim that they can do. Perhaps you can knock on their door and tell them about someone in need – or a mosad – that can use the help.
They have cameras and don’t open the door for mishulachim. As someone who goes around, the biggest donations come from those with nice, but not extravagant, and many times simple homes. It’s a misnomer to say that, because they built a monster mansion, mimeila they must be big baalei tzidaka. That is incorrect. It’s the opposite. Just wishful thinking on your part. Many even have a sign near the front door which clearly states “no solicitations”. Sedom.
I’d rather do the monster mash, instead, 😆 🤣 😂. You should, too!
Just get a couple of those coins that Rav Shterrnbach is giving out and you’ll be rich in time
if you are affected by what others are doing you have an insecurity issue , there will always be those who are better of and also those who maybe are not as well off as you, that is life