SHOPLIFTING
March 14, 2024, at 4 p.m., Officer Kyle Seehausen responded to Home Depot for a shoplifter with security. Gustavo Palacios-Conde 24, from Lakewood, N.J. was arrested for shoplifting and charged with related offenses.
Officers Justin Burkhardt and Richard Uriarte assisted in the investigation.
AGGRAVATED ASSAULT
March 15, 2024, at 2 p.m., Officer Jose Rivera responded to an aggravated assault on 2nd Street with two male parties fighting in the liquor store. Carlos Guiterez-Santos, 47, from Lakewood, N.J. was arrested for aggravated assault. The victim was transported to Monmouth Medical Center Southern Campus for an evaluation.
Officers Salvatore Reyes and Deon Smith assisted in the investigation.
DWI
On March 15, 2024, at 9 p.m., Officer Joseph Mandelbaum patrolled Monmouth Avenue and observed a careless vehicle driving without its headlights. Barrios Ildeberto, 37, from Howell, N.J. was arrested for DWI and charged with related offenses.
Sergeant Kevin Nickerson, and Officers Michael Livingston, Alexander Lopez, and Eric Micallef assisted in the investigation.
DWI
March 16, 2024, at 1:30 a.m., Officer Nicholas Cusanelli was patrolling Lexington Avenue when he noticed a careless vehicle driving on Ocean Avenue. As a result, Zenon Hernandez, 31, from Bricktown, N.J., was arrested for driving while intoxicated and charged with related offenses. Additionally, Rosa Ramirez-Munoz, 30, from Jackson, N.J., was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child.
Officers Sean Capper, Joseph Mandelbaum, Eric Micallef, and Alexander Lopez assisted in the investigation.
WANTED
March 19, 2024, at noon, Officers Joseph Soriano and Jeffrey Emmons were in the area of 2nd Street when they arrested Jason Barone, 40, from Lakewood, N.J. on an outstanding warrant.
Great Job LPD
LPD Purim Day Blotter:
NOSH-HOARDING:
On March 24, 2024, Purim day, Officer Mike Fredrickson responded to a home, where a repeat nosh-hoarding offender was spotted scooping up hundreds of packages of Purim nosh and stuffing the snacks inside his pants pockets. The packaging surrounding dozens of chocolate-filled cupcakes split open inside the suspect’s shirt pockets, causing the chocolate filling to ooze out all over the floor of the home. The suspect was arrested on the spot and charged with ‘extreme nosh hoarding’ and ‘excessive cupcake cream littering’. The nosh-hoarder, who was released from prison several hours later, was sentenced to 12 hours of community service cleaning up the sickening mess of chocolate-filling from the floors of the aforementioned home. Officer Mikel Charvorna assisted in the investigation.
RISCHAN DIORAYSA:
On March 24, Purim day, Officer Sam Peerimshpeel responded to a purim call in BMG, where two male suspects were engaged in a heated argument over a particular halachic law they had been studying. Suspect, Aryeh der-krumer, was arrested on charges of ‘excessive krumkeit’ and ‘over-the-top hollering & unbridled rischan dioraysa’. Upon sentencing, the Judge noted that Aryeh’s defense claims that he was under the influence of Kedem grape juice at the time, was “one of those most krumah defense arguments I have ever heard”.
The Kruma-Sevara-zuger was transported to the offices of the local Purim Rav, where he is scheduled to undergo a thorough and comprehensive “straight-&-smooth sevara evaluation.” Officers Glatt Trachterer and Seichel Hapashtus assisted in the investigation.
PURIM ZIG-ZAG MEANDERING:
On March 24, Purim day, Officer Alex Chagstein, observed a careless purim reveler meandering by foot down the streets of Lakewood in a zig zag fashion with an extremely cracked, defective/or non-functionable pair of glasses. The suspect, who appeared to be in an extreme state of confusion, asked the officers who arrived at the scene, to transport him to the city of Hodu. The suspect was arrested and subsequently transported to the local deli where he received several dozen IV transfusions of sour pickle juice to alleviate his symptoms.
WANTED:
On March 24, 2024, Purim day, two police officers were driving in the vicinity of the royal palace of Shooshon when they arrested Shooshan resident, Adolph Hamanburg, a renowned cold-blooded, serial killer.
Oy. This guy should be arrested for PWI (posting while intoxicated )
Not a joke ,lpd is really doing a great job