Jackson Police Reassure Town Residents: “There Is No Loose Tiger at Great Adventure, Just a Couple of Uncaged Leopards and Some Loose Crocodiles”
Jackson Township police issued a statement online today reassuring local residents that rumors of a loose tiger at Great Adventure are false and that the loose animals seen on a video circulating online were “just a couple of medium-sized leopards and some harmless crocodiles.”
“Please rest assured that all of the local tigers are locked inside their secure habitats, and that the loose animals seen on a video online are just a couple of midsized leopards and several innocuous crocodiles,” Jackson Police said in the statement.
“We expect to have the leopards and the crocs back inside their secure enclosures by Thursday evening the latest,” Jackson Police added. “In the meantime, please feel free to visit Great Adventure – just make sure to bring along your tranquilizer guns with you.”
“We’ve also called in some additional emergency medical crews to patrol the streets just in case,” the statement went on to say. “Once again, you can rest assured knowing that we’ve got your backs covered from any kind of potential clawings or teeth bites.”
“But first and foremost,” the statement concluded. “please don’t pay attention to those outlandish and phony rumors circulating online. Thank you.”