1. Nice photo.

   As we say in Baltimore, “Thank you for not burning plastic.”

2. Jackson Resident Phones Rabbi Miller to Report the Man In The Photo Above Who’s Carrying The Child In His Arm While Throwing The Paper Bag Into The Fire
   Upon seeing a photo in TLS of a man carrying a small child in his arm as he is about to throw a large brown paper bag into a huge fire in public, Jackson resident Oscar Burnstein quickly phoned Hagaon HaRav Shlomo Miller, who just recently issued a statement saying that any individual who starts a fire and refuses, upon request, to put out the fire should be reported to the authorities.
   Rav Miller answered Mr. Burnstein’s phone call on the first ring.
   “Hello? Rabbi Miller?” Mr. Burnstein said to the Rav, “I’d like to report a child-carrying arsonist who’s throwing a large paper bag into a huge fire in public.”
   “Rabbi, I’m extremely worried.” Mr. Burnstein told the Rav. “I’m not sure what this pyromaniac plans on doing with the child. I fear the worst, but I can only hope for the best.”
   Mr. Burnstein went on to tell the Rav: “After seeing a photo of the frightening scene posted on TLS, I quickly drove down to the crime scene and told the arsonist to put out the fire immediately, but he ignored my plea, made a bracha and started to throw things into the fire! Rabbi, what should I do?!! I’m extremely worried! Should I grab the endangered child from the man’s arm?! Should I call the police?! Please tell me what to do!!”
   “Hmm,” the seemingly amused Rabbi told the overly concerned Jackson resident, “I need to research what the Shulchan Orech and the other achronim say about this inyan,”
   “Call me back after Pesach,” Rav Miller added, “and after the holiday I’ll give you a definitive answer to all your questions.”
   “But what should I do right now with the endangered child?!!” Mr. Burnstein asked the Rav. “I’m worried!”
   “Just give the toddler a delicious cupcake,” the venerable Rav told the highly anxious caller, “but after he finishes eating the cupcake, make sure to throw the crumbs into the fire.”
   Rav Miller concluded the phone call by giving a hearty holiday blessing to Mr. Burnstein.
   “Chag kasher v’sameach,” Rav Miller told the agitated caller, “and a freilichen purim too!”

3. … ignored my plea, made a bracha, …

   What was the bracha?

   • According to Mr. Burnstein, the man whispered the bracha to himself, so he couldn’t make out the bracha.
     However, upon hearing this detail, Rabbi Miller reportedly told Mr. Burnstein: “Well, if the fellow whispered the blessing quietly to himself, it was definitely a blessing in disguise, so there’s no need to worry, which didn’t seem to alleviate Mr. Burnstein’s anxiety.”

4. Slippery slope?
   Just like we don’t allow the govt into our schools concerning curriculum as we know it will lead to requiring we teach about abominations, so too with fire.
   First the govt bans our children from lighting fires. The govt already knows where we will be burning Chometz & will eventually ban it as an unacceptable danger. The next ban will be on our Menorahs, then Shabbos candles as well.
   The only way to combat this is by not giving in even 1 inch. Starting in Kita Aleph we need to teach about how to light fires, proper use of accelerants, & easily combustible materials.
   Heed this warning if you don’t want to be lighting candles in a windowless room in your basement terrified the LFD & LPD will barge in & start making arrests.

Comments are closed.