Consequences of military service on relationships

Nothing can put the kibosh on a relationship like suddenly having to dedicate yourself to military service. Whether you joined up to continue the family legacy, go career, or pay for college in the future, the military can certainly make it difficult to create and maintain relationships. The consequences of military life on relationships can be severe; a brief look at the situation will show you what to expect.

How does military-related stress affect the couple in the relationship?

When you are in a relationship and in the military, stress will be commonplace. Relationships that start before people join the military often become unstable because of the lack of communication and the lack of time that couples have together. Distance is a major factor that can negatively impact a relationship because couples won’t have the benefit of someone to be with them and they might grow jealous or distrustful of their partner. Stress can challenge couples in many ways in a relationship, making them more susceptible to breakups and psychologically harming individuals in the military. In fact, it is not unheard of for people to wash out of the military and go home because they are homesick or worried about what their partner is getting up to. Yet, it’s also important to consider the fact that relationships that start online during a time of active duty (not necessarily deployment) can be healthy and effective. Consider that many people sign up for Uniformdating, a dating service for military members. Using this site, someone in the Army could meet up with people that understand the stress that comes with dating someone that is not available to come and whisk them away on dates all the time. They will be more than happy to meet people for romantic outcomes without pressuring them or creating discord in their relationship when they can’t be in the same space. Dating sites offer safe and private communications for people in the military, and the sites that are specific to military users are especially rife with wonderful, loyal, and patriotic partners. 

How to cope with stress and retrieve a healthy relationship?

Coping with stress in a relationship and having a healthy partnership is not as challenging as it may seem. As stated, people that are on active duty but not deployed to an active warzone will have a fair amount of downtime. The result is that they can use dating sites and social media to meet partners or maintain their relationships. That will make any partnership like a normal long-distance relationship and contextualizing a relationship like that can be very healthy. You should also find ways to focus on the positives that come from your partner being in the military. For example, fighting forces are not always called upon to inflict harm on others; they are often used to help the very communities from which they come. In times of crisis, your partner might not be beside you, but they will be helping others that are in desperate need. That feeling of positivity will make you grateful that the dual sacrifice you are living through. Lastly, you should consider reading up on how to manage a long-distance relationship using psychological techniques. That can help extend the shelf life of your relationship and preserve it so it can last until you are back home around your partner or meeting them for the first time from the internet.  

Family problems caused by PTSD

An issue that is tangential to romantic relationships but deserves to be mentioned is how families are impacted by PTSD. When someone has experienced something traumatic as a result of their military service, it can have dire consequences upon all their relationships. The first thing that many families experience in this case is the family member becoming increasingly withdrawn and unwilling to engage with them. This can make relationships fall apart. Also, people with PTSD are likely to face other problems, too. They can lack control over some of their emotions, and that can make it very hard for people to express themselves healthily. These issues become more pronounced as family relationships increase in complexity, so married couples can face different issues than people in a new relationship. With the right help, people with PTSD can have healthy relationships. 

Military service is an honorable vocation, but it does not always have positive consequences for people. The separation of a romantic couple can be very difficult for them to get through and couples even have more problems with mental illnesses are added into the mix. Using dating sites to help with long-distance dates, properly contextualizing your partner’s service, and actively engaged with your partner can all help you maintain your relationship. Service can challenge relationships, but it is the key to a more solid foundation for the future for many people.  

This content, and any other content on TLS, may not be republished or reproduced without prior permission from TLS. Copying or reproducing our content is both against the law and against Halacha. To inquire about using our content, including videos or photos, email us at [email protected].

Stay up to date with our news alerts by following us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

**Click here to join over 20,000 receiving our Whatsapp Status updates!**

**Click here to join the official TLS WhatsApp Community!**

Got a news tip? Email us at [email protected], Text 415-857-2667, or WhatsApp 609-661-8668.