A two hour meeting with R’ Moshe Hillel Hirsch and several American Roshei Yeshivos and Askonim has just concluded.
It was decided that a follow-up meeting will take place in the coming weeks after the Roshei Yeshivos have a meeting with other American Rosh Yeshivos in the United States to discuss binding changes to the American Litvish Yeshivah system which will take place very soon.
The delegation then went into R’ Dov Landau the other Rosh Yeshivah in Slabodka who recently visited the United States. R’ Dov imparted that changes must be made immediately and efficiently to assist the Bnos Yisrael, and gave a heartfelt Beracha that they succeed in making effective changes.
In regards to the “Freezer” that some American Yeshivos have, it is expected that the “Freezer” will end on the first day of Chanukah in the coming Zman, and may be eliminated completely the following year, pending a discussion with other American Roshei Yeshivos.
Updates to Follow.
BH. Long overdue. This is why there is a ned to publicize this online. When the Gedolei HaDor of years ago, R’ Elyashiv, R’ Shteinman, R’ Shmuel Auerbach, R’ Chaim Kanievsky wrote a letter that the freezer must end in all American Yeshivos, it was ignored. Now with the multitude of singles out there, their cry cannot be ignored. Thanks for posting this important update.
The Freezer though it has to be abolished completely as per the letter of all the Gedolim you posted yesterday, is only PART of the problem. There are many other moving parts to this Litvish Shidduch crises that I”m sure were addressed behind closed doors. Will follow TLS in the coming weeks to see what real changes are being made.
I think its a Shaila if we can make a Shechiyanu B’ Shem U’Malchus. FINALLY this problem which was swept under the rug for too long is being addressed by ALL of Klal Yisrael. Mi Kamcha Yisrael!!!
This is truly a historic day that should be celebrated. the Tenth of Tamuz will go down IYH in history as an important day for American Jewry! May Hashem give the Rosh Yeshivah R’ Moshe Hillel ben Mindel continued strength and Refua to carry on the needed attention to this crises.
Until that happens it’s nothing more than rhetoric. The gedolim in Eretz Yisroel have complained about the freezer for about 20 years and nothing changed. Why would I believe now that it’s changing?
I believe it will change because there is too much pain in Klal Yisrael. Ad Kan Shabbos HaGadol
What, there was no pain 20 years ago when Reb Elyashiv Zatzal said it needs to go? There was.
I have tears of joy in my eyes reading this. BH this hard Parsha is finally being addressed.
It may take more time. Change doesn’t happen overnight. But this is Good News For The Jews.
Can someone please explain why the “Freezer” is a big issue?
Not trolling, I genuinely don’t understand.
Because it is survival of the fittest….. the prominent girls on paper from what is perceived to be wealthier and more “prestigious homes” get their names placed on top of the pile of resumes most bochurim have. It causes a bochur to get many names and choose. this did not exist before the freezer was founded 25 years ago.
Also with internet addiction and other temptations it is not good for the bochurim who are in their mid 20’s when they come back to America.
So it is better to send them, alone and without supervision, to E”Y when they are in their late teens?
I, too, don’t understand how the whole freezer thing affects shidduchim.
How will guys going out six months earlier help marry everyone off?
I also don’t understand why this is such a big deal.
And its not close to 6 months. Its 3.5 months in the longer freezer.
Cheshvan, Kislev, Teves and Half of Shevat.
The Summer Zman freezer is even shorter at 2.5 months Iyar, Sivan and half of Tammuz.
We seem to have a Hugh machlokes haposkim here… When the freezer was created and many years after that it was claimed that it was done With consultation of rav schach ztl. What gives??
You obviously didnt see the Sefer Torah Bitaharah from R’ Kolman Krohn why it is Halachically prohibited to have a Freezer. He also brings from R’ Shach there that it is Assur.
So we don’t get told who funded this trip and what information these Rosh Yeshivas were given and working off of.
And besides for some photo-op pictures we are not allowed to hear the actual meeting.
The 3 month freezer is the Culprit here ? Please !!
If the age gap is a real thing , then let the girls start by postponing dating for 2 years , and only then come to the boy’s for changes.
Im confused. Bochurim spend a few months in the freezer and then start shidduchim. It gives them a chance to catch their breath in a new city (for many of them) and figure out what they want with their lives. How is this causing the shidduch crisis? The most it could be doing is pushing a shidduch off by a few months. Not causing hundreds of girls not to get married.
If these guys at 22-24 years old have no idea what they want to do with their lives, they should go back home and sit with mommy not in a beis medrash. Your completely out of sync with reality.
The above is untrue!!!! please produce a written letter from Rav Shach to back the Freezer. He wrote many many letters in his multi volume Michtavim U’Mamarim. R’ Meir Tzvi Bergman his son in law publicly said R’ Shach was against the freezer. Even if he would have said it is ok WHICH HE DID NOT!!!! R’ Elyashiv R’ Chaim R’ Aharon Leib and R’ Shmuel Auerbach wrote against it. It has created much grief in todays time not just because of waiting half a year but the girls from less prestigious homes have their shidduch resume fall to the bottom of the pile.
You obviously were not around when the freezer came to be………of course there was no written letter……but it was claimed by those who created it that it was done With consultation with rav schach…… BTW I suspect that comment was tongue in cheek…
Claims are worthless, especially when there are letters from Rav Shach Zatzal strongly against the concept.
The freezer is not just a delay of 4to 6 months. But a opportunity to let names pile up and compare one to another which destroys the momentum of having to give an answer right away whether you’re interested or not. Instead of the pressure of Use it or lose it, You can kick the can down the road and it’s not just during The freezer period but even later since you have so many names piled up( Or at least you can claim so )you’re still working through them and can push any other request for a date down the road too.
Getting rid of the freezer will help no one. The resumes will just start accumulating by the boys, BEFORE they come home from E”Y, instead of before the freezer opens. Same piles, same momentum destroyed. It’s the same as pushing back the deadline of primary kids. Everyone wants to be the oldest, so they just hold back the kids earlier and earlier. No point.
Since neighbors friends and shadchant’as, Don’t get to see the boy when he is in EY and don’t have free access to the EY yeshivas, With all the technology it’s still “iber dem yam”,most shiddduchim are redt after seeing the boy. So for the most part till he comes back and people can see him in shul on shabbos… He is not actively in shiddduchim. So no, resumes will not pile up till he gets back. And then he has to give answers in a timely fashion.
Pushing back the freezer allows in theory boys to get married at an earlier age closer to the ages of the girls and therefore to have less of an age gap issue caused when two different populations of different amounts of people are marrying each other due to natural population growth. It is important to sit down for a few minutes to understand the concept mathematically until you understand it well. Once that happens you will get everything and be super frustrated by most of the commentators that don’t begin to.
1- some say there is no crisis, it is simply untrue, everything is fine
2- some say there are a large number of girls unmarrried but that is because they are the ones saying “no”, as if if all girls would be saying yes to the first boy then that would retroactively increase the number of boys born 20 yrs ago
3- some say that there are actually an equal amount of boys just they are “out at work” and the minute the girls will agree to marry “out of kollel” they will appear and get engaged to all of the thousands of girls
4- some say that the whole crisis was rigged by a few modern orthodox and the minute they will drop it all the girls will become married retroactively for 10 yrs
5- some say that the current system even if outdated is sacrosanct and must continue regardless of how much destruction it has caused so far
6- some say that it is worth it to continue to sacrifice boys and girls for the sake of Torah learning “altz bochur”
7- some say that it is a crisis and the solution is to stop asking for support for the boys as if were that to happen another few thousand boys of marriageable age will appear out of nowhere
8- some say yes there is an issue but it isn’t a crisis, just all those girls in their mid 20’s didn’t bake enough challah and all the girls in their early 20’s who never got a yes need to start finding segulos etc. and just sit tight and keep waiting
9- some say that a shidduch is a “lucky number” and you can’t get that kind of good mazal until your are much older and it will not help to try younger because it is bound to end up in divorce if you even try at any age less than mid 20’s
10- some say that no shidduch is really good so you have to be older to know how to cope and after you are exhausted and wrung out then you are ready but when you are younger you did not yet learn anything about middos in cheder and yeshiva or at home so actually although there is a serious crisis we are duty bound to keep causing it because we cannot trust those “immature” 20 yr olds with what once was a natural step-up in life
BUT…and most say that under the authority of our generation’s Da’as Torah it is possible to make a few changes to the system in order to marry younger and still keep on learning and also be very happy and successful!
Your point is right on and the way you brought it out shows all the silliness we are “treated” to while going through this.
you r a baal kishron. how does one meet you, please.
The effect of this will be much milder than the activists would have you believe.
It’s more about the concept of the problem. How much will be resolved will depend on if we the people actually start listening to Daas Torah.
btw the freezer in the summer is two and a half months and winter 3 and a hlf months and its really earlier because most people start looking into the girls a few weeks earlier so i dont know where people get six months from
So:
A meeting concludes that they are gonna have another meeting !
After 20 years of Shidduch Crisis media and the months of big hype leading up to this historic meeting , this is the best they come up with ?
The freezer??
If the Culprit is age gap difference of 4 years , then a 3 month freezer isn’t going to fix anything at all.
Who funded and arranged this whole thing ?
You are so right
“If the Culprit is age gap difference of 4 years , then a 3 month freezer isn’t going to fix anything at all.”
I would change your wording to “isn’t going to fix everything” You are absolutely right that this isn’t a solution on it’s own, but truth to be told, no one solution will help every single.
Each step that we take will enable more girls and boys to get married, and this is definitely a step in the right direction.
It’s one step of the process that needs to be resolved. There are many more issues, Including the concept that every bacur must learn in BMG or they are nothing more tan an Am Ha’aretz. Back in the 70’s and 80’s, even the early 90’s, bachurim came back from EY and went back to their rebbe who sent them to EY. For 25+ years that’s been considered basically assur. Not only do the boys believe this, but the girls believe that as well. Thus, no one is looking for a shidduch but a status symbol. majority of bachurim today no longer have a reebe muvhak whom they discuss life with.
Even if you are right, You’re still ahead by 4 to 6 months…… And that is huge.
where do you get for months, the winter freezer is 3 and half months and summer is 2 and half months, and can start doing research even earlier
How many actually do any research before the freezer opens, or they feel ready to start dating.
Why does everyone keep saying 6 months?!?!?!
It is 3.5 in the LONGER winter freezer!
Upon learning that the “Yeshiva Freezer” system is expected to end on the first day of Chanukah in the coming zman, one Yeshiva cook sent out an angry tweet to the Rosh Yeshivas saying: “The first day of Chanuka?!! Are you kidding me?! That’s when I load up the yeshiva’s freezer with thousands of frozen latkes for the whole week of Chanukah! Where am I supposed to keep all those frozen latkes if I don’t have a working freezer?! Do you expect me to fill up my bathtub with ice cubes and store the latkes in my bathtub?! Come on now! Why can’t you do the sensible thing and postpone the freezing of the freezer till AFTER Chanukah?! Why does everything in my life always have to be one big dreidel?!”
As a volunteer shadchan, I personally see many diverse reasons why shidduchim are not happening easily. My vote is to get rid of the military-grade background checks before even having a phone call (or video chat) between the singles. What if we stopped looking for reasons to exclude anyone who isn’t “perfect.” My wife is the polar opposite of me, but it works very well bH. I believe everyone is at least a little imperfect. Hopefully we find people whose broken pieces fit well with our own.
Also true.
Very happy that discussions are finally happening. Just really hope that it is much much more than moving the freezer down 1 month which will have only very limited albeit it some benefit. Hope they discussed much more radical ideas because at least a year or two needs to be eliminated between the boys and girls to get this on a relatively even playing field. Looking forward to seeing the solutions although time is of the essence and of course every day change is delayed causes untold pain to many people. Thanks!
Keep the freezer is it is good for the bochurmi to acclimate with the large BMG. Shorten the stay in eretz yisroel , let them come back earlier.
It takes them less than 30 seconds to figure out Lakewood. That’s a joke.
Nothing has been accomplished … Everything today is all about $$$$ . Yes I have a daughter who never even get’s a prospect . And yes , it’s my fault because I am stuck in the same job for 40 years , w/o a raise
Hashem should bench you with beautiful Shefa !
while a buchor in a freezer is a question since one side with the nisyonos of today the earlier is better to get married on the other side of the coin coming in to a new yeshiva with settling down is also recommended if you start the first day dating you where never in bmg but in a train station!
on the other side working boys are a problem not that every boy belongs in yeshiva but a working boy has a red flag there are many yerai shomain but alot are …. so a girl doesnt want like someone with a history whether medical or …. is second class now true not every girl needs a long learner but someone going out to work six months or year after wedding in not a second class
now money was always given as we find the concept of nadan after the war for the next 35 it just didnt happen so often no i am not saying that we must ask x because otherwise my son is not the top times are different in today society teachers side job gov program i have a few friend that are still learning without parental support so it possible (my father work 40+ hours a week and made a nice salary but everythings was second hand because he couldnt afford today with all assistance around my siblings live better off)
also plenty of boys and girl say no
chasidim also have the same problem by 19 yr boys at least a yeshivish could stay in the program but by chassidim 19/20 is a big problem no yeshiva kollel are for married and i am sure that in erertz yisroel is no different
so what do i say its all from hashem when the right one will come dont blame just daven
Ad Kan OIMRIM Bshabbos HaGadol
Abolishing the freezer is a minor or no help at all. the freezer was established with the agreement of Rav Schach zt”l, (i heard this from someone who was there at a meeting with him). the freezer is actually a benefit for the boys, to become part and settle in the yeshiva, and see more the realities. i have a son that dated before the zman and got engaged in beginning of the zman, and during the proccess i realized what benefit the freezer is. he really wasnt ready and didnt understand what he was doing, and had a hard time settling in yeshiva . (similar to why some parents dont want their daughters dating right after seminary)
What is needed is to have the boys mature earlier the way it was 30 yrs ago by having them start elementary school earlier and being bar mitzva in 8th grade, this how they will be 17 in 12 grade, and BM for 3 years, then EY for a year or two and be back at 21-22. this is what myself and many friends did years ago.
Today a boy becomes BM in 7th grade by the time he starts high school he is 15 and he starts BM at 19-20.
and finishes at 22-23.
And dont say the children are too immature to start elementary school earlier these days, it worked in my days and it can work now as well.
Maybe parents should be blamed these days for spoiling their children as toddlers that they are not ready to begin pre-school young enough.
I don’t believe for a single second that Rav Shach Zatzal was on board. As to some of your other points, graduating earlier has nothing to do with the age of shidduchim. I was bar mitzvah in 7th grade and that was in the 80’s. Why do they suddrnly need 5 years between Mesivta and looking for a shidduch. I know of hundreds that got married at 20-22 back in the 80’s and 90’s. They didn’t have 5 years and the divorce rate was also much lower than as well. BTW, parents today are spoiling their children even after marriage.
Can you please post which rosh yeshivas and askonim went to Eretz Yisrael? Why are their names left out?
if you were also supposed to go along then why didn’t you?
Upon learning that an American delegation on a shidduch crisis mission in Israel is nearing a major breakthrough in the Yeshiva Freezer system that basically shuts down the freezer system entirely, one GM electrical appliance designer told reporters on Thursday: “Big deal! GM solved the Shabbos issues with their electrical appliances by developing highly advanced and extremely sophisticated Shabbos ovens and Shabbos freezers – which is clearly a big deal! On the flip side, the only technologically advanced solution this delegation came up with to address the technical flaws of the Yeshiva Freezer system is to to shut down the freezer system entirely?! They haven’t developed any new technology or technical fixes? They’re just doing away with the freezer system altogether? And I’m supposed to be impressed and amazed by this major technological breaktrough?! Come on, man, give me a break!”
“I’m just glad none of the members of this delegation work for GMs science and technology department, because they’d be fired immediately after putting forth a solution that basically says, ‘Since we can’t develop a newly advanced, problem-free, yeshiva freezer system, we’ll just shut down the freezer system entirely!’ Sheesh!”
With regards to my previous comment, instead of GM, I should have written GE because I was referring to General Electric. But truth be told – like many of my other comments – it was a pretty weak and incoherently written comment, so maybe it’s not even worth correcting.
No need for so much hock. If post EY yeshivas all announce that they won’t take any boy that has already turned 22, the whole issue will be completely resolved. They won’t lose as the boys will just come earlier and there will be so many shidduchim happening that there will be a vort crisis. Why this isn’t being done baffles me. It is not fair for everyone to blame each other and say the problem is not their fault while the girls suffer.
My son was/is a top top boy,B”H married for 3 years.
We got NO from 75% of the girls up front,and a NO from 20% after the firs date.
I think that they are the cause of the CRISIS
Does that mean you said no 80 % of the time to a second date ?
You say he’s a top boy. I’ve heard that from many a shadchan, then the boy shows up and can’t say a small d’var torah. He’s atop boy, wants minimum 5 years support, a daughter of a talmid chacham and can’t say a small d’var torah? This happens daily. I’m not saying it happened to your son. You also don’t know what they heard from references as well as knowing someone that knows your family. Someone may have said something that turned them off. You also don’t know what happened on those dates that came back with a no.
Now wait till you have a daughter in shidduchim and you your daughter waits for a year plus with and then two years with not one yes from a boy and then you will know well that the crisis is that there are not enough boys. Period
There may be other issues as well but they are not the main issue by any stretch
I am worried without the freezer the good boys will have more time to marry $$$$$$. When a boy settles down in Lakewood he usually wants more quality in a girl.
Follow the Truth.
This will only help rich girls and make the real problem bigger.
You’re backwards.
based on some suggestions i read i have a question
if high schools end after 11th what happens to 12th grade Rebbeim parnassah?
if boys leave earlier to EY what happens to third or forth year bais medrash rebbeim
will anyone set up funds to make sure that they have parnassah if the system changes ….
Those rebbeim say shiur once a week, max. Some say both years just different days, or are the rosh yeshiva themselves.
It’s like making a chasuna without inviting the chosson and kallah……….. They’ll talk they’ll make decisions, and then they will go home……
who is supporting?
The freezer can’t be abolished. Once you abolish the freezers then there will be too many Bochurim coming to Yeshiva without settling into Yeshiva. The freezer is a simple policy in order for there to be some sort of normalcy in a Yeshiva for newcomers.
just look around lakewood and see how much it has helped over the past decade and how many are just moving away, not the chassidim in the outlying developements, but those who came to yeshiva and “did time” in freezer while eating out and going home for Shabbos etc. bottom line is enforcible restriction is not what is going to keep bochurim interested in the yeshiva while in such a large town that offers so much other attractions what is needed is to draw them closer through warmth and understanding
Wrong. If BMG has such an issue with it, they can close enrollment for a decade. Bachurim can go back to where they were before EY like was done in the 70’s – mid 90’s.
how will it be binding?
I don’t think this will help.
Here are some real solutions :
1. There should be an appointed Shidduchim Czar in each shul
2. Shadchanim should be paid even if the shidduch doesn’t work out
3. More has to be done to bring in competent MEN working full time on the Shidduchim situation
And army of them not just a few
4. More money has to be put it in on strengthening the weaker Bochrim
5. This has to be the Number One problem in Klal Yisraels eyes
6. And this I wish we could find more create and Tznius ways of getting the boys and the girls together without dropping societal norms