“My wife feels safe with me for the first time since we got married,” one client told me just days after starting Amino Acid Therapy. “This Pesach was the first time I didn’t argue with my husband in years,” another client shared, also after beginning Amino Acid Therapy. While Amino Acid Therapy can be effective for many issues, I’ve been especially struck by how transformative it is for marital difficulties.

Marital stress (and all relationship stress ) elicits many intense emotions which cause emotional dysregulation. When the nervous system is dysregulated, the prefrontal cortex turns off. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that can learn and implement skills, has the big picture perspective, can think logically, feel empathy, and communicate properly, all indispensable in relationships. For this reason, even after reading many marriage books and doing lots of couples therapy, it can still be difficult to respond in the way you want to in your marriage. Staying grounded when upset, the ability to stay present and listen without defensiveness or shutting down, communicating respectfully instead of raising your voice, feeling safe to speak your mind, and letting things go without resentment are difficult even when you know exactly what you should be doing, because all of that requires emotional regulation. The positive feelings of empathy, connection, appreciation and intimacy also require a regulated nervous system.

At the root of nervous system dysregulation and its shutdown of the prefrontal cortex is the sense of danger or threat. When the nervous system is regulated, the sense of safety is restored and the prefrontal cortex is back online. When you feel safe, what previously was enraging now feels mildly irritating and what previously caused profound pain now elicits disappointment. More importantly, the sense of safety allows you to connect lovingly, feel and express appreciation, communicate confidently and effectively, and let the small things go with ease. Safety allows you to laugh at yourself and take yourself less seriously. It gives you the flexibility to be kind and loving but also to take care of yourself without fear or shame.

Amino Acid Therapy balances the neurochemistry at the root of nervous system dysregulation, quickly and effectively. By doing so, it restores the sense of safety that is at the foundation of a thriving marriage. There are two ingredients necessary for a happy and healthy marriage. The first is the knowledge, wisdom and skills necessary for navigating the complexities of married life in a way that enhances and grows the relationship. The second is a regulated nervous system. Regardless of all the knowledge, wisdom, and skills you have acquired, they are only available to you if you are regulated. Amino Acid Therapy will not give you the skills you need, that needs to be learned. However, it can give you a regulated nervous system and along with that, the sense of safety it brings to your marriage.

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Chaim Moshe Steinmetz LISW is a psychotherapist in private practice and provides in person and telehealth therapy for a variety of issues. Visit Chaimmoshesteinmetz.com to get a free guide to “ Amino Acid Therapy for rapid relief of Anxiety, Insomnia and Stress”