As previously mentioned in this series, much attention has been given to the challenges confronting our talmidim. Technology, internet exposure, social media, and, more recently, AI, are often identified as the primary concerns. In response, gatherings are convened, safeguards are implemented, and efforts are made to protect our Mosdos and homes.
Yet, a painful question continues to linger: why do talmidim still drift from the warmth of Torah life? Why do they seek validation and belonging elsewhere?
Before focusing solely on external influences, perhaps we must reflect inward and ask: are there areas within our own approach in teaching Torah that require strengthening?
It is certainly true that the outside world presents נסיונות unlike any previous generation. However, חז״ל teach that when foundations are strong, outside influences have far less impact. As Chazal state: קידושין ל ע״ב
בָּרָאתִי יֵצֶר הָרָע, בָּרָאתִי לוֹ תּוֹרָה תַּבְלִין
“I created the evil inclination; I created for it the Torah as spices.”
The Torah is the תבלין, (spices), the force that refines and strengthens a person, enabling him to withstand and properly channel external influences.
When a child can read, translate, and understand the text, it becomes alive for him, empowering him, building his confidence, and giving him the tools to overcome the yetzer hara.
But when these foundational skills are lacking, the same Torah can feel inaccessible and frustrating. In such a case, it becomes far more difficult for the child to draw upon the strength of Torah to overcome challenges.
The responsibility therefore rests upon us, and the educators, to ensure that every student is equipped with the skills and confidence to access the Torah’s תבלין. Only then can Torah truly strengthen, refine, and protect him from outside influences.
No Child Should Be Left Behind
A yesod guiding every Torah community is that every Jewish child deserves a makom Torah.
Yet painful realities remain: some children do not find their place, and families are forced to seek less-than-ideal alternatives.
As previously written, my revered Rebbe, Rabbi Mattisyahu Salomon זצ״ל, stated publicly in Lakewood: “no girls’ school should open until every girl has been placed ”. This was a clear expression of responsibility and a reminder of what klal yisroel stands for. (Obviously, this applies equally to boys’ yeshivos.)
Consider the magnitude of that declaration. After the devastation of the Holocaust when nearly two million Jewish children were murdered by Adolf Hitler,יִמַּח שְׁמוֹ, entire communities were destroyed.
Today we live in a generation that has witnessed extraordinary rebuilding where mosdos have flourished beyond imagination. Boruch Hashem,communities that once lay in ruins have been rebuilt with remarkable dedication and sacrifice.
Yet despite this incredible growth and success, I and others are still getting phone calls asking for help for their child who is struggling to find a place in school.
This reality should shake us.
How can we speak about preserving Yiddishkeit while closing the doors of mosdos to children who seek to enter? How can educators and leaders stand each morning and recite Birkas HaTorah with sincerity while children remain outside the gates?
Every day we daven in the morning :
…. וְהַעֲרֶב נָ ה
And please, Hashem our God, make the words of Your Torah sweet in our mouths and in the mouths of Your people, the House of Israel. May we, our children, and the children of Your people, the House of Israel, all come to know Your Name and study Your Torah for its own sake. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who teaches Torah to His people Israel.
“וְהַעֲרֶב נָא” literally means “ And please make [the Torah] sweet.” Every morning we dave that Torah should be experienced as sweetness and joy not only by ourselves, but by our children and the doros that will follow.
We must ask ourselves honestly: can we daven these words daily whilst at the same time rejecting or expelling talmidim from mosdos?
A Timeless Lesson: כל ישראל ערבים זה בזה
חז״ל illustrate this responsibility with a moshol in Midrash Vayikra Rabbah 4:6:
מָשָׁל לִבְנֵי אָדָם שֶׁהָיוּ יוֹשְׁבִין בַּסְּפִינָה. נָטַל אֶחָד מֵהֶם מַקְדֵּחַ וְהִתְחִיל קוֹדֵחַ תַּחְתָּיו.
אָמְרוּ לוֹ חֲבֵרָיו: מָה אַתָּה עוֹשֶׂה?
אָמַר לָהֶם: מָה אִכְפַּת לָכֶם? תַּחְתַּי אֲנִי קוֹדֵחַ!
אָמְרוּ לוֹ: שֶׁהַמַּיִם עוֹלִין וּמַצִּיפִין עָלֵינוּ אֶת הַסְּפִינָה.
Bnei Odom were sitting in a boat.
One of them took a drill and began drilling under his seat. His companions said to him: What are you doing? He replied: Why does it concern you? I am drilling under my own place!
They answered: But the water will come in and flood the entire boat!
Lesson: this is the meaning of “כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה – Every Jew is responsible for the other. One person’s actions can affect the entire community.
When a child is lost, it is not only his loss, it is a loss for his mishpacha, yeshiva, and klal yisroel. If a child cannot find his makom and later seeks belonging elsewhere, it should not be surprising.
This is not criticism of dedicated educators whose mesiras nefesh is extraordinary. It is a call for reflection: how can we expand, adapt, and ensure that these children feel included, valued, and successful?
The Irony We Must Confront
It was brought to my attention of instances where children of administrators, educators, or influential community members required placement, and solutions often appeared quickly and accommodations were made, and space was found. Meanwhile, other families spent months searching, only to hear, repeatedly, that there was no availability.
If a room can be found for one child, it demonstrates that room can be created. If policies can be adjusted for insiders, surely they can be adjusted for any child in genuine need.
When fairness appears dependent on connections rather than compassion, trust erodes. Children notice these realities, and the impact of perceived injustice can deeply affect their sense of belonging.
A child denied admission or prevented from transferring may carry the emotional impact for years. Even when unintentional, this sense of rejection can be profound. When belonging is denied within the world of Torah, some inevitably seek acceptance elsewhere. ( from a personal conversation with a talmid).
Access to Torah should never depend on status, influence, or personal relationships; it is a shared inheritance of all klal yisroel.
The Power of Care and Encouragement
Many children who struggle academically are not lacking intelligence or have developmental disabilities. Often, they simply missed essential foundational skills early in learning. As my Rebbe explained in the foreword to my book I Can Learn: children who fall through the cracks often have lost fundamental skills. With additional care, patience, and guidance, their confidence and sense of value can be rebuilt.
If we are serious about protecting our youth from outside influences, the solution cannot be restriction alone. It must be the creation of environments where Torah learning is meaningful, alive, and deeply welcoming.
The responsibility to create that reality rests upon all of us.
To be continued…
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