My eleven-year-old son (Chaim) is generally well-behaved. He does relatively well both at home and in school. Although he does have his moments, things are usually okay.

Everything is well and good until it comes to his younger brother, Dovid. He can’t stand his brother, who is two years his junior. Anything and everything Dovid does will set him off. These things often seem trivial, and if it were anyone other than Dovid, Chaim would have ignored them. With Dovid though, Chaim will regularly fly into a rage. I would love to gain some insight into how I can best address this and restore peace and harmony to my home.

The key is in making the child feel positive and even proud of his interaction with his brother. Doing this changes the perceived threat to a positive and even a moment of pride.

(Anger is a secondary emotion and can have numerous root causes. Although many feelings lead to angry reactions, feeling threatened is what moves the feeling from its original state to an angry reaction. On some level, the situation in front of us is causing us to feel, “I can’t deal with this.”)

——————————–

Yisroel Wahl is a behavior specialist who has guided hundreds of children, teens, and adults through an array of behavioral and emotional challenges for close to a decade. He specializes in working with children and teens through his private practice in Lakewood. He can be reached at 848-245-6124 or at [email protected]

You too can have your question answered. Questions can be submitted confidentialy to [email protected]