VIDEO: Cows Seen Loose on Street in Toms River; Motorists Advised to Follow the Moooove Over Law

It’s possibly a new meat board trend – “We send the cow, you choose the meats.”

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  1. Motorists Seen Exiting Their Cars To Milk Herd of Loose Cows; Cows Announce Plans to Sue the Milking Motorists
    A group of irate cows announced that they plan on suing several dozen motorists who exited their cars on Thursday to milk the cows who,
    apparently, were just minding their own business and taking a leisurly stroll down a serene and quiet residential street in Toms River, NJ, when they were suddenly accosted by the milking motorists.
    “In the year 2024, you would think a cow would have the freedom to take a peaceful stroll in a residential neighborhood without getting milked to the gills by a band of mean-spiritted milk-hoarders,” said an angry 1-year-old calf, who reportedly was forcefully milked to the max, and who spoke to reporters on condition of anonymity. “I mean, how much is a half gallon of milk these days? $2? Was it really worth it for these loathsome milk-scavengers to destroy the dignity and self-worth of a peaceful herd of cows just to save a few dollars in grocery bills?!”
    “We’re gonna sue the motorists for everything they’ve got,” the calf said, “including the greenest grass they own, and delicious hay, and scrumtuous alfalfa and the best quality legumes that mankind has to offer.”
    An attorney representing the motorists refused to respond to reporters’ inquiries on Thursday, but released a brief statement saying: “One thing I can tell you: My clients are not going to start pulling out all of the grass from their lawns just to satisfy the palates of these greedy cows! Hopefully, my clients and the cows can sit down together – or crouch together – and arrive at some kind of agreement that doesn’t leave my clients’ front lawns looking like strips of barren farmlands or empty parking lots.”

  2. After the recent insane amount of fleishig joints opening up in and around town, the cows are finaly picking up and leaving

  3. Those cows don’t look that great for meat.

    The look more like the skinny cows of Paroah’s dream

    And not sure why I need to pass a math test to put up a comment. The help of a calculator tells me 3-1=2 hopefully that’s correct and my comment sees the light of day

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