1. Lakewood Township Looking To Ease Road and Sinus Congestion
   Upon learning that Lakewood Township is making changes to the Oak Street and New Hampshire Avenue intersection to ease traffic congestion, Lakewood resident Aryeh Nazelwitz told reporters that: “I appreciate the Mayor’s efforts to ease road congestion, but with the removal of phenylephrine tablets from many pharmacy shelves, due to the FDA’s recent advisory that suggests the aforementioned decongestant medicine does little to improve sinus congestion, my nose will remain congested until the end of time!”
   “A decongested road is excellent news,” Mr. Nazelwitz said, “but a decongested nose is much more crucial to my well-being.”
   “After all,” he said, “everyone needs a breather every once in a while, and I’m no different than anyone else! If only the Township could help me with my sinus congestion, I’d be one happy man!”
   Within minutes after Mr. Nazelwitz finished speaking with reporters, the Mayor reached out to him and told him that he would contact Health and Human Services and see whether he could get phenylephrine decongestents back on to the shelves of the local pharmacies.
   “With Winter right around the corner,” the Mayor texted Mr. Nazelwitz, “and the common cold season lurking from behind, and, at a time, when sinus allergies are at an all-time high, no one on this planet should be forced to trudge through life without his or her trusty nasal decongestant pills.”
   “If Health and Human Services can’t help,” the Mayor added, “the township may be able to set up special tables all around town containing neti pots and nasal irrigators that Lakewood residents could use – free of charge – to irrigate their noses and clear their sinus congestion.”
   “I’ll see what I can do,” the Mayor said. “After all, sinuses and roads are of equal importance to all of us, because without them, we couldn’t survive very long on this planet.”
   “And until we eradicate the blight of sinus and road congestion from the face of this Earth,” the Mayor added, “the inhabitants of this great planet of ours will not have a moment of peace in their lives.”

2. I hope they did it on both sides on Oak st

3. Wow! Avi Schnall wasn’t even sworn in yet!

   • That makes about as much sense as your friend asinine commenter.

4. Thank you Mayor coles!

5. they should do this by finchley and Rt 9!

6. Drove here this morning – instead of waiting 2-3 lights it was one light. I was very happy with this improvement

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