Unmasking Hashem’s Love

Readers-Scoop-Logo smallBy D.S, We were supposed to be home for Purim. We were supposed to be celebrating our own personal “turnaround” in our home, together with all our neighbors, relatives and friends, delivering mishloach manos to everyone who had been there for us. We weren’t supposed to be sitting in a hospital room in Philadelphia miles away from home…the same hospital room we’d been sitting in for the past six weeks. We weren’t supposed to be worrying about why our daughter was suddenly running a fever or why she had a rash all over her body or why she was complaining about that phantom pain in her legs.

Our story began on the first day of Adar I two years ago. Our heretofore perfectly healthy three year old daughter, Sarah, was rushed to the hospital where she underwent emergency life saving surgery. Afterward, on the advice of our pediatrician, she was transferred to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) to recuperate. Then she developed severe complications from the surgery and her recuperation was going to take a lot longer than originally thought.

As Purim approached and her condition stabilized, we requested that she be discharged in time for the holiday and allowed to convalesce at home. The doctor seemed amenable to the idea and we began to take classes to learn how to care for her at home. We were excited to finally be going back to our own house. We would be reunited with our four-year-old son who was living with relatives. Our six-month-old baby would once again sleep in her own crib. Most importantly, our little three-year-old would be able to leave the hospital room she had spent so many weeks in (undoubtedly wondering all the while whether she was there for good). We were all set. But Hashem had other plans.

Purim that year fell out on a Friday. On the Wednesday before Purim, Sarah suddenly developed a fever. Because the original cause of her condition had not yet been identified, we had no way of knowing if there was still a danger to her life. Therefore, the mysterious fever came as a shock and totally unnerved everyone. We were thrown from our emotional high into a state of despair.

The Fast of Esther came and it was a crazy day. Sarah’s doctor decided to replace her PIC line — an intravenous line leading straight to the heart — hoping that would solve the problem. It wasn’t a pleasant procedure considering the fact that she was kept awake for the entire time it was being removed. Our hopes for an imminent recovery and return home were disintegrating in front of our eyes.

Purim night Sarah was still running a high fever and began complaining of severe pains in her leg. That became extremely worrisome because her legs had nothing to do with her medical condition. We called for an Attending Physician but the following day was Good Friday and most of the staff either had the night off or were in surgery. A nice but not too knowledgeable Resident came to examine Sarah. Unfortunately, he was clueless as to what to do for her. Finally a Fellow, the next doctor in the hierarchy, came to examine her and impatiently announced that nothing could be done for her at the moment. We were absolutely devastated and it showed.

“Look,” I suddenly turned to my wife, “its Purim. We can’t spend our time being all sad and depressed. It’s the happiest day of the year; a day when everything looked so bleak but it was all turned on its head as Hashem performed a wonderful miracle for us. Let’s put everything aside and enjoy Purim. We’ll make it the most amazing Purim this hospital has ever seen.”

As I finished speaking a Chinese-American nurse walked in…

“Hello,” she said. “I’ll be Sarah’s nurse tonight. My name is Esther.”

Shivers ran down my spine as my wife and I stared at each other. Who would ever believe that my daughter’s nurse Purim night would be a Chinese-American girl named Esther! It was an unmistakable message from our Father in heaven.

The next morning, Purim day, was the first time in six weeks that Sarah was allowed to put a morsel of food in her mouth, a shiny red lollipop. Her fever was gone (it had been an infected PIC line after all) and she was able to dress up in her costume and join the party we made in the hospital’s playroom. Purim proved to be the turning point in her recovery. By the time she left the hospital three weeks later her condition had improved so dramatically that the nurses could not believe what they were seeing. Within weeks of coming home she was able to eat like any other child and thank G-d today she is completely recovered. Mere words can’t begin to describe our overwhelming gratitude to Hashem for her comeback and recovery.

Purim is all about revealing the hidden and for one brief moment we were given a peek behind the scenery. At the bleakest and most despondent of moments when things look like they can only get worse, Hashem reaches down and in the most awe inspiring and benevolent way sends you a whisper of love, a kiss of endearment with the unmistakable message, “Don’t worry, I’m here, I’m holding your hand and guiding you through it all.”

This Purim, don’t waste the big day. Take a brief moment out from all the fun and festivities to look up at the heavens and feel the incredible warmth and affection of a Father so madly in love with his children. Grab a piece of that unconditional love, dance with it, sing with it and never ever let go of it.

Simchas Purim!

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  1. Thank you, I am crying. We are currently dealing with an issue that has let us feeling comp;letelly despondant and helpless after months of endless hope.
    This message has really helped to lighted our Purim. May it be a zechus for your family and your daughter to never know more tzaros for ever.
    Happy Purim

  2. Wow!!!

    I am in awe of  your gevaldige emunah and bitachon even in the most bleakest of times.   

    I would like to give you and your wife a birchas hedyot: 
    May you and your wife be zoche to lead your dear Sarah and all your dear children to the chuppah with health; happiness and much nachas until 120. 

    A freilichen Purim.  

  3. Last year I was diagnosed with a rare and incurable genetic disease that the doctors were afraid was affecting my liver. Two very close family members had already gone to a better world but it had been assumed to be unrelated. What they THOUGHT they found by me would explain it all and would put our entire family in peril-siblings,cousins,children,grandchildren……I went to gedolim in Eretz Yisroel and was told by two gedolim there there was nothing to be concerned about. I am literally one year almost to the day from returning from Israel and as the gedolim predicted,the doctors did all sorts of further testing and biposies but lo and behold everything came back negative.

    And so,I give you my birchas hedyoit-may you and your wife share many simchos with this child as well as with all your other children until 120 and we should all greet Moshiach very soon.


    P.S. Seforim say that the power of tefila on Purim is astounding as it says “Kol Hapoishet Yad Nosnim Loi”(whoever sticks out his hand we give to)and they explain that to mean b’derech drush that Hashem answers EVERY tefila on Purim!!

  4. without being redundant, I just came home from BMG Mesiba and shared that special moment with Hashem together with some friends in need of a Yeshua. We all felt the wisper of love you make referrance to. We have all spent many sleepless nights in the hospital and can relate to your story. More importantly, we can relate to your feelings and thank Hashem for giving us such a special day like Purim. May everyone be zoche to appreciate Purim (without having a tzarah!)

  5. Thank you for putting life into perspective
    With all our day to day tribulations we need a reminder that hashem is there watching us with love and wanting us to succeed.

  6. I would like to share a thought that helps me cope with my own life challenge.

    Through months of hospitalization,medical procedures etc. what helped was the certainty that EIN OD MILVADO. HASHEM’s essence is what HE graciously offers us ….we only have acknowlege this through the way we think and conduct our lives.

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