Unjustly Expelled | Rabbi Dovid Abenson

Below is a letter I received from a parent regarding his eight-year-old son Dovid, who was unjustly expelled from his school by the Menaheles.

Dear Rabbi Abenson,

Our son Dovid is now being homeschooled through a public/charter school.
This has been a heartbreaking situation. The Menaheles still said her school is unsafe for him, but would like to take him back. At this point, Dovid scored at the 6th-grade level in reading and comprehension for our state standards and has been placed in the honors program; this is unheard of for a 4th grader who was held back for so long.

Unfortunately, he was held back at the kindergarten level for three years at his previous school. This saddens me very much. As Jews, we can and should be doing better. We have gone through this in our minds, and learning with you is a highlight of his day and most definitely improved his English Kodesh skills. It is truly incredible. Thank you so much for your dedication to properly teaching our son! Just today, Dovid told his very secular class he would grow up as a Rabbi. This is a true blessing and with Hashem’s help, will continue.

Thank you again,

Mrs. Cohen

My reply:

You can be sure that if the Menaheles wants to retrieve your son, she has realized the terrible mistake she made. It is you who has the upper hand. Work a schedule in the school. I can help with that. Also, your son will have a social life. Give it a shot.

Mr. Cohen’s reply:

Menaheles would probably take my son back to school, but this is something that my wife and I do not presently want. He is currently better off with the superior education he is receiving in all secular subjects. He doesn’t have to worry about being bullied (specifically by these out-of-control and self-entitled sons of “rebbes”). If he were to be back in Menaheles’ school, he would very likely be pegged — once again — as a kid who is incapable of learning because of his diagnosis.

Furthermore, it is clear that Menaheles isn’t willing to pay for your services. Desperate for the fact that her school needs your services ever so desperately. We are still determining what we will be doing in years to come. We may have no choice but to move to another community. I don’t know. He is doing very well right now. He is happy at home, bears no resentment, expresses his desire to become a great Rabbi one day, and has friendships with frum kids his age. You are teaching him well; I am learning Mishnayos and midrash with him, his older brother is helping him as well, and he davens Shacharis, Mincha and Maariv every single day. Although many would say it’s not ideal, my son is presently doing much better than he would in any local Jewish day school. Guess that’s all for now. I hope that adequately answers your question.

Thanks again for everything you have done and continue to do for my son.

My reply:

I fully understand; as regards homeschooling, I had a talmid a few years ago who had been kicked out of five schools when he was 14 years old. He was homeschooled and finished a year ahead of his class. I was the only rebbe he had. BH kept inspired and ended up in Aish HaTorah finishing ששה סדרי משנה . He’s the first story in my force-coming sefer- book, “Can’t Read and Learn” (a Feldheim publication).

I wish you all the best

Mr. Cohen replied:

Thank you

Note to my readers:

Her school isn’t safe for him, but she says she would like to take him back. What does she mean when she says the school isn’t safe for him? He is only eight years old. Does she mean he will be bullied at school? If she creates animals with her 400-plus students, then she’s incompetent and must resign or be fired. She has blood on her hands.

If you would like to share your personal experiences regarding the educational pandemic we have fallen into, please send them to me for inclusion in future articles. More parents’ involvement is crucial to reversing this terrible trend.


For more information please contact
/Rabbi Dovid Abenson
Evaluations / Upgrading / Training
Tel. 15147393629
Cell/Whatsapp 15149935300
Email: [email protected]
Website: HYPERLINK “http://shaarhatalmud.com/”ShaarHatalmud.com. Reserve your copy of Rabbi Abenson’s new Sefer coming out soon HERE.

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  1. Some of the people running our educational institutions are clueless at best and quite egotistical. Only a select few are truly caring, compassionate and in it for the right reasons.
    Those that are incompetent leaders are quick to blame the students for their own failures.
    It may seem hopeless
    remember Yeshuos Hashem Kaheref Ayin

  2. This article is so unclear. There is clearly two sides to the story here. To assume from this that the school is horrible and wreckless without any other info, is just as horrible and wreckless. Very disturbing article!

    • Indeed, this “article” is extremely vague and in fact, seems to be more of an advertisement for the services that Rabbi Abenson provides more than anything else.
      Why is this child “in danger“ in this school?
      Why was this child held in kindergarten for three years?
      What other pertinent information is being held back in this article?
      It’s just another hit piece unless they publish the full details.
      Must be fun being antiestablishment with no actual responsibility or accomplishments

  3. I am personally familiar with this saga with this particular boy (or so I assume since it sounds all too similar to a situation I’m familiar with)
    I am not an educator
    I am not a friend of the principal
    However, please read this with an open mind – there are two sides to every story
    perhaps this child needs special ed not for intellectual challenges but because of social/ASD issues
    let’s not jump to condemn

  4. Rabbi Abenson
    While a jewish neshama that left yeshiva or day school for public school is a tragedy ledoros, beyond comprehension, we also learn in those same yeshivas and day schools that you cannot hear one side without the other. Since the menaheles has not been given a platform (only what the parents say she said) there is no way for any one to understand the situation you are trying to present.
    Since I know neither the parents or the menaheles, there may be information that one side is sharing or obscuring that prevents the full story from being understood.
    Perhaps a competent authority who can listen to both parties be brought in to mediate and help this sad situation.
    Best of luck to all involved!

    • I agree with you.
      However, I suspect that even if the principal was given a platform he/she would reject it because it’s not appropriate to be bashing your students, past or present, in a public forum.
      Which goes to show that perhaps even those doing the vilifying know that it’s a one-way street and will receive little significant pushback.
      But imagine the perspective of the principle, somebody’s bashing you right and left in public would you take the child back?

  5. I’m not sure why this author has to keep worrying the same thing over and over again. Every article is the same: the people working in yeshivos are terrible reshaim and have victimized everyone to satisfy their egos and I am everyone’s savior.
    While I realize that people have bad experiences with schools and sometimes it is the fault of the mechanech, her are the facts:
    Most students and parents have very positive experiences with schools and the staff there.
    Sometimes there is a fallout. In those cases there are times where the school could have done better and there are times when the parents made it impossible to help them. In that category I can’t say the percentages of whose fault it is but I could tell you that 100% of the time the parents (and people with a bone to pick such as this author) blame the schools and in close to 100% of the cases the school won’t say anything even if they know that if people understood what they tried to do for the child to be stonewalled at every turn, they would recognize that the school is not at fault. And in the cases that the school is at fault, the mechanchim are sincere and well-meaning and committed an error In a very small percentage of the cases, the mechanech is evil – not in every case as this author would like you to believe.
    This author does no one a service not parents nor children and not mechanchim – maybe himself.

    • Here’s the thing
      Those who have no problem with the school, 90% don’t really need the school. It is those who DO have a problem that are the only yardstick.
      Schools have five problems that they deal with, whether the child has one of them or not. They are mostly not flexible enough to deal with the child as a child, not as someone with this problem or another. So they know about ADD, Sensory issues, dyslexia etc. But they don’t know this child with his or her individual issue. The better schools throw the child into therapy, which is mostly a waste of time and money – One hour a week does not do much.
      If schools learned that the main skill they need is flexibility, not rigid adherence to Mesora (whatever that means), not shitos and ideals, but actually understanding the children, the therapy the child needs will be right there in the classroom, and his or her needs would be dealt with.

      The school that kicked out my son did diddly squat to help him, except to push me to go to an unlicensed, untrained, ‘therapist’. They didn’t go for a Board of Ed eval, they didn’t have any expert input. They sent him to the hallways for a few weeks, then sent him home with no recourse.

  6. No background. No perspective. No context. You need to be clairvoyant in order to follow the story, no storyline but rather story gaps….. Seems like there is something to hide here.

  7. I am involved in Chinuch and unfortunately there are many many such stories (whether this one is 100% accurate or not as some might think is irrelevant) that are pushed under the carpet. So many children are victims of the school system. It is not necessarily that Menahalim are ch”v “reshoim” but many times either not enough equipped or overworked running big moisdos and a lot of responsibilites. But this does not change the Metziyus and so many children get wounded and sometimes even damaged for life. It is not taken serious enough the impact and damage that things done to the delicate emotional world of a child can and do have for life!!

  8. Why am I so confused when trying to read this story? I can’t figure out what type of community is this, talk about sons of Rebbes in school, but also mentions of a day school and a female menaheles for a boys school, definitely not chassidish. No mention of what went wrong in school why he was kicked out why they would take him back… all one sided, No background no context.

  9. This article should never have been published for all the reasons that I see posted here. There is no context, no “other side of the story” and no point to be made. Unless, it’s a paid advertisement for somebody (who I would never use because of this horrible article.)

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