TRPD Urges Vigilance Following Rash of Vehicle Burglaries

The Toms River Police Department is reminding residents to lock their doors and keep valuables out of sight after a recent rash of vehicle burglaries.

The items taken in the recent burglaries include wallets, pocketbooks, headphones, sunglasses, ID cards, spare key fobs and a vehicle.

The burglaries occured on Ridgeview Ct, Cypress Point Dr, Sequoia Cr, Black Birch Ct, Golden Hemlock Way, Indian Hill Rd, White Spruce Dr and Firestone Rd and included locked and unlocked vehicles.

Anyone with information regarding these crimes are asked to contact Detective Jim Carey at 732-349-0150 X1292.

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  1. RAOOC Urges Robbers To Be Vigilant Following A Rash Of Surveillance Videos Posted On TLS
    The Robber’s Association of Ocean County [RAOOC] is urging local burglars to be on the alert for home surveillance cameras that capture the images of robbers in real time as they break into homes and walk off with stashes of cash and valuable goods in their hands.
    “A lot of these surveillance videos have been posted on TLS, a website that is known to be extremely hostile towards the robber community,” Bill Camhacker, who heads the RAOOC’s tech advisory department, told the Robbery Park Press on Thursday. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen videos posted on TLS showing incredibly naive robbers staring into surveillance cameras as they walk off with piles of cash in their hands, or drive off with the cars they’ve broken into.”
    “Even when the robbers wear masks,” Mr. Camhacker warned, “they can still be easily identified by their clothing or by their gait.”
    “By the way,” Mr. Camhacker said, “can someone please tell me what my good friend, Mr. ——-, was thinking the other day when he entered the backyard of a Lakewood home in full view of the surveillance cameras and then proceeded to take a quick siesta on the hammock before attempting to break into the home?!”
    Wow, I’ve known Mr. ——- for many years,” Mr. Camhacker said, “and I’m acutely aware of his carelessness and his carefree nature, but THIS incident takes carelessness and stupidity to a whole new level!”
    The RAOOC tech advisor went on to issue the following warning to the robber community:
    “If you don’t know how to bypass the security cameras, then move on to the next home. But never try to rob a home in full view of the security cameras, because ultimately a full-blown video of you committing the robbery will posted on TLS. And it won’t be long before the police come knocking on your door.”
    Mr. Camhacker went on to say that, “If the robbers follow my advice and heed the RAOOC’s guidelines, there’s a very good chance that many of them will achieve financial freedom in a very short time, and that they will have the abilty to retire for life at an early age, with an abundance of wealth and tons of stolen cash by their side.”
    “However,” Mr. Camhacker said, “if you prefer to be numbskulls instead, and to break into homes while thumbing your noses at the security cameras, then go ahead and do as you please, because pretty soon you’ll be thumbing your noses in prison at the security cameras posted outside your jail cells.”

  2. Friendly tip:
    If a person learns Torah on Shabbos, then his reward will be:
    Shabbos has a built in multiplier feature and your prize will be multiplied 1,000 times (all kidding inside).
    After Shabbos you will have so much cash, that it would not make any sense at all to steal, because your home will be loaded to capacity with heavenly cash. By the way, heavenly cash is super clean, no need to wash your hands with soap after handling the special cash.

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