Tragedy has struck Lakewood once again, as an infant was Niftar after being left in a vehicle in Lakewood today.
The child, approximately eight weeks old, was discovered shortly before 2:00 PM in the parking lot of a Kollel. The child was reportedly left there for over two hours.
Hatzolah paramedics responded to the scene and found the child unresponsive. A pronouncement was made on scene.
Askonim are working with the ME’s office to ensure Kavod Hameis.
Levaya details will be published if the family wants it publicized.
Baruch Dayan Ha’emes.
(Note: The above information was published only after the family was notified.)
Oy bde
R”L!!
Every parent of young children should have some sort of method to remind them… here are a few options I found easily on Amazon, some more sophisticated than others, and I’m sure there other good options too:
Simple big reminder bracelet: https://amzn.to/3S7J4bM
An in-between option:
https://amzn.to/3zKnjZl
A more sophisticated option:
https://amzn.to/4bORz2m
(I have no affiliation with any of these products)
I’d sooner forget these items, then forget the baby
Hashem yeracheim!!!!
H-shem Yerachem! on these very hot days, it’s always a concern that someone will forget a child in the car. Perhaps if there is security at parking lots, they should do patrols and look into every car to prevent such tragedies.
What sanctimonious words. It is a tragedy that can happen to anybody. Nobody purposely does it. If you are driving a lot of children and have a huge to do list, it can happen. B”H it does not happen more often, and any good suggestions, like those of pfeffercook, can help save lives,
You would think the responsibility would be on the parent to remember their own child. I mean what can be more important. Let me ask you a question if the security you would like implemented missed the child who’s the blame on??
Good question
Exactly. So the blame could be deflected onto someone else. Because how often would they be policing the parking lot? Who’s to his long the child was in the care in relation to when the parent left him in the car versus when the guard passed by. 💯the parents responsibility. Prayers fir the child who lost their life 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Or you be a good parent and put your kids before everything else! It’s not someone elses job to make sure you don’t forget the most important thing in the world!
HOW LONG DOES MODERATION TAKE. TRUTH ALWAYS HURTS
WHY MY NOTE FROM 813 AM STILL NOT PRINTED? IT IS STARK TRUTH..
Isn’t it the parents job to remember their own baby
No, it should be the parents job to remember their babies. Not security!
I can’t imagine and I don’t want to imagine the pain of the family. Is there a way to show sensitivity to the family and stop making these tragedies public knowledge? The people who know the family will know and the people who need to know will be notified. In these tragic times maybe respecting people’s privacy and pain can be a way to show some sensitivity.
I disagree. The Oilam needs to know so that this can be addressed more seriously. Just a few weeks ago this happened. WHY SUDDENLY AGAIN? If we don’t learn from our mistakes, they will repeat. With all due respect, and I am sincerely sorry and cannot imagine the pain that this family must be going through, but I feel we as a community and people need to figure this out already and stop it from EVER HAPPENING AGAIN! Maybe the names don’t need to be publicized, but the events sure should be. The first step towards solving an issue is acknowledging it.
It would be nice if there were some cheap, low-tech device that can be given to everyone in Lakewood which would sense a human in a car, and beep to remind the driver or passerby’s outside. Maybe some Askan reading this feels like donating them to everyone?
There are reminders in cars but honestly parents shouldn’t need reminders to take their children out of the car. That goes for all parents everywhere.
That is a pretty unsensitive and untruthful comment.
Are you trying to say you never forget something? Especially when it is something new that you are not used to and not part of your routine?
This was a new baby and it was most likely only the parent’s responsibility for max a couple weeks to take the child to daycare or wherever and being that it wasn’t part of their routine that they’ve been doing for so long, they forgot. I can promise you 1000000% that it was not on purpose. No one thinks it will ever happen to them and hopefully it won’t (for every horrible story like this, think of how many babies are safely taken out of the car daily…) but to say that parents don’t need reminders is really not a bright, tactful or sympathetic comment.
Why just in Lakewood? It can’t be just a problem in Lakewood.
Get a group in the community to write grants to generate either the devices or the money to purchase them and give them to local hospitals. When the baby comes home in the new car seat the device goes with it. And not just to Lakewood. This tragedy can happen anywhere.
Extremely sad loss.
We need more public awareness bulletins to be issued to the tzibur during these extra hot days.
Perhaps the Lakewood Scoop can alert people on their billboards.
Try to make it a habit to leave your car windows open when parking. My son was Ok a number of years ago after being left in my car because the windows were opened just as I parked B”H.
clearly it’s a major problem if you, yourself, openly admit to leaving in your child in the car on a hot day. Oh, the windows were cracked! He’ll be fine!! What is wrong with you??? NO IT’S NOT OK TO LEAVE OTHER LIVING BEINGS LOCKED IN A HOT VEHICLE!!! EVER!!!
There are car seats for 0 months to 4 years old that have sensors. When one turns off the car, one hears a beeping sound as a reminder that there is a child in the car seat. Doonahs are very nice and convient, but until they come with sensors it is limiting.
Doona makes something called the sensalert that can help with this but it is not included in the car seat it’s a separate purchase
What’s the name of the Car Seat that has a sensor?
You could get a child reminder alarm on ebay for $20.
Evenflo gold is the car seat I own that has a sensor. . I have had it for about 3.5 years.
Every Morah/babysitter should be calling the parent if a child doesn’t show up. And a parent should notify the morah if the child isn’t coming that day
I am a babysitter and always text or call parents if they are an hour late dropping off.
I am so sorry to this family.
No one should ever have to go through something like this.
With all due respect, I dont know if you are or ever was a teacher… a teacher is very busy in the morning and too add another responsibility to an already overwhelming morning full of children in a classroom (which is often overbooked with babies to begin with). To make this the teachers responsibility to call what it is seems is a responsible parent who made a choice to have a baby, is disgusting. We as morahs are not responsible for the children outside our school. Next they will blame the daycare providers who are already overworked and underpaid.
You would only be making very few calls – just to a few parents whose children did not show up
This should be a wake up call to every single yid in lakewood.
How many children were R”L taken from us recently, unfortunately a bunch.
Can we somehow fix “the system” which is with no question broken and start excepting all hashems children into schools instead of telling hashem that his children aren’t good enough to be in a yiddish erlich school?
And maybe just maybe he will stop taking so many back so early in their lives!
Not saying 1 has to do with the other but who knows what cheshbon he is making? We need to minimize at least the options
To all commenters with good intentions about how to make sure this doesn’t happen again blah, blah, blah…
How, How??!! How could you even think or write anything when you’re heart is bursting and crying in pain for such a tragedy??!!
Yep I have a child at home that is a sweet kid, eager to be a part of a normal cheider yet not good enough for any school. And they all mean לשם שמיים
What sanctimonious words. It is a tragedy that can happen to anybody. Nobody purposely does it. If you are driving a lot of children and have a huge to do list, it can happen. B”H it does not happen more often, and any good suggestions, like those of pfeffercook, can help save lives,
Mr. so painful
Let’s see if you open up a school what you’ll do with acceptance, it’s not an easy job. I don’t envy anybody that has to take care of that.
It’s time that every student in the yeshiva, every rabbi from the biggest to smallest shul/ shtiebel call for parents to attend a meeting to discuss leaving a child in a car, summer,winter,spring or fall! Mandatory meeting! Maybe more than one meeting on different days and times . And if it’s known that parents do not attend, reach out to them and put pressure on them so they do attend such a meeting.
R u serious? U think ppl do it on purpose?
Of course not. But it hs happened much too often. The point being made is that the more it is drilled in to the patents, the more unlikely it will be to be for anyone else to make the same tragic mistake.
So the problem is, that forgetting is something we humans have ‘practically’ ZERO control over.
And all the outrage is completely misguided.
I just want to say this is a good idea when u have a baby in the car out your shoe in the car seat when u stop on concrete you will remember
Best Idea.
or you can leave your pocketbook in the back so you will automatically check in the back before leaving the car.
“ Tragedy has struck Lakewood once again” how terrible that this has to be in the headline. Too many tragedies have happened for us to not wake up. Let us all work on bringing moshiach
rosh kollels should ask their students each day if they remmembered to drop their kids off. it can get annoying and feel childish but worth it for saving even one life
A lot of Shuls nowadays have a brand new electronic screen near the entrance and all the Zmanim show up on that screen.
Maybe we can also show a reminder on that screen
“Did you forget your child ”
And in large print
Won’t help if the person genuinely thinks they dropped off that day (but their memory is actually from the day before)
I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy. I will pray for the family. A great idea, put your purse, bag, backpack, books on back seat. Stay off your phone. Sing and talk to your child.
Maybe chavrusas and workmates should ask each other every morning if they dropped off all the kids and checked the car?
Leave your phone and keys in the back seat near the baby.
Will also help you from having the urge to text.
I also do the shoe method. I put my left (non driving) shoe in the car seat and hop/walk around out of car to get it when i park. nothing is fool proof and we need hashems help every step of life, and we cant control what he ultimately wants.
I also randomly say a Tefila when i enter a car on a very hot day, even if no one is in the car. “hashem please help that no one should be left in the car today”
May the family have a true nechama
That is excellent and beautiful – that’s taking Achriyous. All your tefillos should be niskabel.
This is the 4th Child Tragedy since Shavous; The Rabonim should have a meeting and the Gedolei Hador should be consulted.
( maybe HaShem is angry on the way many people drive etc. , who knows )
At this point it’s probably safer to keep the baby in the front seat.
Yes, the statistics of child car deaths even from accidents were way lower when that was the pratice.
Hashem Yeracheim!
Hashem please give the family a nechama.
Here is an idea that people might find helpful – for those vans that are equipped with it.
Press the auto open sliding door on the car seat side prior to shutting off the mini van.
Horrible tragedy, and impossible (and difficult) to put ourselves in the family’s place, and to know what they’re going through, they should have a Nechama and know of no more Tza’ar.
Not that we can ever understand why something happened, and just a thought, but maybe, while the Chaburos and Kollelim want to encourage people to get there on time for Seder, and have Shemiras Sedorim incentives, allowing a bit more extra time for people to get there might help drivers slow down a bit and give them a bit more time and Menuchas Hanefesh to drive safely and make sure they take care of everything they have to do, and not have to rush in, as much as the extra learning time is invaluable, but saving one life is worth so much more…
We should hear Besuros Tovos and never have to hear about any more tragedies.
your well intended comment assumes that a large bulk of those rushing are kollel folks. but that is an unproven opinion
True, maybe the companies should give employees a bit more leeway with when they have to get there as well, but if everyone tries to be a bit more careful overall, each in their own way, we can hopefully help in some way and save lives.
I did hear from a reliable source that this tragedy had nothing to do with anyone rushing, and obviously the RBS”O felt this had to happen and nothing anyone could have or should have done would have changed things, but maybe if we’re each a bit more careful and considerate it would be a Zechus for everyone, and we should hear of no more Tzaros.
May the family have a Nechama. Many morahs have a routine protocol that if a child does not show they contact the parents asap. Schools send out a text usually but it is much later on in the morning. Maybe we could try to implement this on a mandatory basis for those that know how to make things happen.
Maybe the morah tried and left a message…
There are so many ways that this can actually not be someones fault…
So sad!!
This is an item for sale on amazon that has a sensor for the car seat. when you unbuckle the driver seat l, and it feels weight on the car seat, it beeps until no weight in the car seat is detected
https://amzn.to/4bE9yZm
this is a paid link. I wont press it. ugh
So you won’t be open to possibly buying a device that may save your child bcz the link might bring someone some parnassa?
Okayyy.
Hatzlacha.
Thanks for link! Looks good
nebach BDE
All is meant to be even if one tries their best
nevertheless we must do hishtadlus as a community
there should be signs on every door to the stores, schools, yeshivas, kollels, restaurants etc
In Baltimore they have such signs at the grocery store, restaurant etc
liylui hishmas this darling child and the others that nebach died in this way and they should be meilitzei yosher for klal yisrael
These tragedies give me goosebumps. Can a short daily conference be organized? These tragedies are so heartbreaking and I feel many of us can use the chizuk in our emunah. (my close relative was nifter this past year)
more signs! not just at stores but every shul and yeshiva and kollel door also!
We become immune to signs
Please please I wish Morah’s would have attendance and if a kid doesn’t arrive within 10 minutes to text the parents. I never had a morah or daycare have this system please it’s so so necessary
Does anyone have a good idea for a practical system a morah can implement?
I’m a Morah of 4 year olds and I always text/call the parents if the kid is not there by 10:30.
Because everyone drops off sporadically (some only show up at 10:30!) it’s silly to do it at 9:30 (I start at 9:00).
I’m always worried as an hour and a half is very long time in a hot car. But these are “bigger” kids so hopefully they are making enough noise for their parents to remember them…
I text/call my children’s morahs’ if they are being even a drop off schedule.
If someone else does drop off for me I call to make sure they get there.
We need as many mental reminders as we can. We are all leading very hectic lives.
We are sometimes simply on autopilot.
Agree on the autopilot part!!
The community should hire someone to go around the parking lot looking into cars to see if child is left there.
PARENTS – U MUST GET A BACK SEAT REMINDER INSTALLED IN YOUR VEHICLE!! This product is very good
https://cleverelly.com/products/ce-s4-clever-elly-a-life-saving-reminder-compatible-with-all-cars
Yes I have it and it is great!!
May Hashem bring a nechama to the family & all of klal Yisroel. Our hearts and prayers are with you.
Leave your keys/phone/wallet or shoe in next to the child seat. This is an absolute must and virtually fail proof. If a Morah calls 15 minutes after normal pickup it’s already too late.
If anyone has a recording of R Matisyahus ztl speech to women.. I believe it was before shavuos around 22-23 yrs ago ..when another such tragedy occurred. it would be a chizuk for all to hear his perspective on this specific type of.tzarah.
Let’s be painfully honest. Concerning the meetings, safety training, etc. We have a certain “Gaivah” in Lakewood (& elsewhere) that says “We’re too good to sit in a lecture, meeting or training about non-Torah related issues.
Whether a pre-summer training on how to safely hike (including the importance of proper attire, especially footwear) & what to do if lost. Water safety about the dangers of water in general (& lakes & oceans in particular). Boating safety. Or many other issues like this one that seem to affect us more than other communities.
An Asifa on Kashrus or Tsnius will draw a standing room only crowd. An Asifa on safe hiking protocols, not so much. Let’s face it many us for whatever reason would be embarrassed to show up to an Asifa to teach about safety.
I heard a joke about another community that goes, “They’re so careful about safety they have crossing guards at Hoshanos.”
It’s a funny joke but at the same time they don’t seem to be plagued with a constant stream of preventable tragedies.
My heart goes out to the grieving parents. I remember as a young boy, when a person passed away , a car with a bull horn(in Boro Park) would announce time and place. Also during election campaigns. People have no time to read posters. These next few days are dangerously hot. Announce, that infants succomb easily to heat. And the dangers that can occur
Im sure the Non-Jews (& many Jews as well) wouldn’t appreciate a car with a bull horn disturbing their day. Whether an adult who works the night shift & sleeps during the day. Or a baby that finally fell asleep for a nap or just the “noise pollution” (yes that’s a real thing). People don’t want to be disturbed by someone or anyone with a cause.
Perhaps when you were young there was no better way. But today with phones, texts, Whatsapp, etc. I don’t think a car with a bull horn is the way to go.
8 weeks. The mother probably just returned to work and the father wasn’t used to the drop off routine.
A good piece of advice is for the other spouse to call the one (responsible for) bringing the child to confirm that the child was dropped off, especially in the beginning of a new routine.
It’s time for the US to give 3 months maternity leave like other countries.
I remember rav mattisyshu speaking many years ago and said I am paraphrasing of course how Hashem gives us sechel and for one split moment when it’s removed how anything can happen. So when we say in Bircas hashachar each day vesain lanu binah…. Have kavanah that our minds can keep us safe iyh
Yes, I remember that speech as well. I believe it was in 2010 and I remember it bec I had a baby then and was spooked out and ordered the CSO radio installed in my then car which I thankfully never needed and if anything, was annoying to always have to shut off. But I remember him saying so clearly that if Hashem caused him not to see, it was as if he was blind. This was nebach after a child was left in car and niftar. So so so sad for this poor family and woman who probably just returned to work and nebach asked her husband to drop off the baby. Wish the system can change in Lakewood, with more maternity/family leave and mothers at least able to drop off the child. So sad and heartbreaking. I keep looking around in cars to see if any child left behind nebach and keep thinking in this weather no one would last more than a few minutes at best. Hashem yerachem!
Hateful judgemental comments have no place here!
Thank you for saying.
Compassion is soooo needed.
The Father is already beating himself up.
May G-d give him the ability to forgive himself.
CSO Radio installed an alarm in our car. Every time the back door is opened, it beeps after you turn off the car unless you press a button in the back.
I was a babysitter and always called the parents if half an hour late. I did it for years. Only hear besiros tovos
Kidincarbands.com
Praying for all these families and your community.
Mr midnight is correct, anybody with any da’as understands that humans will always forget things. Imagine this yungerman for the last 2 years had the same exact route. Now at 8 weeks his newborn starts daycare it’s only normal for that child to be forgotten sometime within the next few days. How many times did you drive down the wrong block after your child switching morahs? You should be thanking Hashem that this doesn’t happen more often. Obviously you should take steps to make sure this doesn’t happen, BUT this can happen to anyone c”v
This baby was 8 weeks old! It makes SO MUCH SENSE that the father forgot!! Yes, we can all try to put a clothespin on the handle of our car doors when we load a child, so when we try to open the car door it reminds us, or a shoe in the carseat, or professional $20 system, BUT let’s all stop and think how HORRIBLE this surely loving father feels right now! He may have been overtired after staying up with this newborn! And if not, he surely wasn’t even used to driving with this baby as a passenger!! Every one of our hearts has to go out to him! He made a HUMAN mistake that any of you in his shoes could have made! A mistake that Hashem obviously guided him to make because this was His will. (Perhaps he already just ordered an alarm device that hadn’t yet arrived!) Yes, we can each learn to make a reminder system, but let’s not c”v judge, and even moreso, let’s have the pain of this family be a catalyst for inner growth in Yiddishkeit and for appreciating every single neshama around us!
May HKB”H allow us to greet Moshiach b’mhaira v’yameinu amein, when we will know NO MORE TZAAR!
Besuros tovos!
Maybe people should put their phones in the carseat with their children. People always remember to get their phones. Unfortunately, children not so much 😔
15 minutes after dropoff is almost certainly not too late. It takes about an hour for a car to reach a dangerous temperature (longer if it’s in the shade).
I disagree ,with the heat we have been experiencing 15 minutes is dangerous ,why would you leave your child in the car for even 2 minutes ?
I am so traumatized. Can TLS stop posting these traumatic things?
I literally lost sleep over this. Also, there is no reason to post these personal tragedies. The family has suffered enough. They don’t need the whole Lakewood hocking about them on top of all this.
Don’t say that ppl want to know so they can share in their pain. Ppl just want to hock. you cant argue me on that.
Sorry. About you losing sleep. But it is their job. This is TLS’ s job to post good and bad news. No choice in the matter. This is life.
But, parents need to slow down and take their time to look in in their car. You know you have children. You know you put them in the car then, look! Nothing. I mean nothing! Is more important than a human life. It’s hot outside. Your car is even hotter inside.
Think, think, think!
Leaving your shoe with the child seat is a good idea…. or phone might also be a better idea…. definitely shouldn’t need it while you’re driving!!!
It’s easier to forget a phone.
Left shoe is the best idea. You wont go far without it.
I really don’t get it. How does a parent forget that he has a child in his car? I think nowadays people have too many diversions, such as their cell phones.
Even leaving the windows open doesn’t help too much. I leave my windows open during the day so the car shouldn’t be stifling, but if if it’s 90 outside, then it is at least 90 inside the car
To quote Rebtzn Cohen, don’t judge and never say it can’t happen to you! We’re all human and under duress or exhaustion or change of schedule, the best of us can forget the most basic simple things like a baby! We just have to keep davening for Hashem to protect all of us bec only He can.
Enough! We are all saddened by the tragedy! Now the solution . See my suggestions which others seem to agree with. No need to bring to this article this and that narishkeiten!
I am so sorry for the family’s loss. Women can leave thier pocketbook next to the child as a reminder.. Since many car now have key fobs maybe leaving the keyfob near the child would serve as a reminder. You cannot lock the car if the fob is in the car.
The amount of mothers I see on their cellphones in this area, not paying attention to their children, while out and about is overwhelming. Try paying more attention to your children and put the phone down.
Absolutely. Not just this town but everywhere. MOST people are on their phones. I do see more people physically speaking on their phones more constantly in Lakewood than other towns. If parents would leave their phone in the back with their children that would solve more than one issue!
please remove all comments that can add more pain to the family at this challenging time.
WHO LEAVES “(FORGETS)” a new born in a car ?????? NOT EVEN FOR A MINUTE!!!
The comments suggesting a device or security? – that’s insanity.
There’s a simple solution, make it a habit to look into the back of the car every single time your leave the car. Do it consciously and eventually it will become a habit, regardless if you are alone of if you have a car full of passengers. It’s very simple a quick look at the rearview mirror and a many a tragedy can be avoided. he look/ glance will not make you late and if it does so be it. You may have just saved the life of your child by this simple gesture.