1. Upon learning that TLS will not be updating any of its platforms until sundown on April 13, longtime TLS reader and commenter, “Mr. Anonymous”, told reporters on Tuesday that he’s not certain he will have a Chag Sameach the next couple of days.
   “TLS just wished us all a Chag Kosher V’sameach,” he said, “but how could I possibly have a Chag Sameach if I’ve got nothing to read?!”
   “I was hoping TLS would find some permissible way to update its website, and that I could find some permissible way to read the website,” he said, “but let’s face it, that’s just pie in the sky talk. It’s not humanely possible!”
   “So tell me, how am I supposed to keep myself occupied these next couple of days if there’s nothing for me to read?!” he said.
   “I’ve finished reading all the the weeklies and the magazines,” he noted. “So what am I supposed do now after I’m done davening and eating the seudos, sleep all day?!”
   “And don’t tell me to read the Scoop Billboard advertisements,” he said, “because you know as well as I do, that that won’t cut it! I mean, come on, how long does it take to read a billboard?!”
   “I just hope TLS updates the website on Motza’ei Yom Tov,” he added, “because I’m not spending the entire Motza’ei Yom Tov cleaning and putting away Pesach keilem, that’s for sure, – not until I know exactly what’s happening around town.”

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