This week’s Parsha is Bereishis, so it is only appropriate to discuss the first marriage where Hashem was the “shadchan” so to speak between Odom and Chava, and what we can learn from it.

THE CHUPPAH

Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer 12 writes that Hakodos Baruch Hu made ten wedding canopies for Odom in the garden of Eden. They were all (made) of precious stones, pearls, and gold. Is it not a fact that only one wedding canopy is made for every bridegroom, whilst three wedding canopies are made for a king? But in order to bestow special honor upon Odom, Hakodos Baruch Hu, made ten (wedding canopies) in the garden of Eden, as it is said, “You were in Eden the garden of Hashem was every precious stone your covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold?” (Ezek. 28:13). Behold these are the ten canopies. The angels were playing upon timbrels and dancing with pipes, as it is said, “The workmanship of your tabrets and your pipes was with you”.

How can we emulate such a wedding so that Hashem will reside with us at the time of our marriages?

The Jewish people are meant to serve Hashem with Simcha

עִבְד֣וּ אֶת־ה‘ בְּשִׂמְחָ֑ה בֹּ֥אוּ לְ֝פָנָ֗יו בִּרְנָנָֽה Serve the Hashem with happiness; come before His presence with singing (Tehillim 100:2).

Additionally we find (Devarim 28:47):

תַּ֗חַת אֲשֶׁ֤ר לֹֽא־עָבַ֨דְתָּ֙ אֶת־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ בְּשִׂמְחָ֖ה וּבְט֣וּב לֵבָ֑ב מֵרֹ֖ב כֹּֽל

because you did not serve the Hashem, your God, with happiness and with gladness of heart, when [you had an] abundance of everything.

The Gemara (Yevamoth 63b) says the ultimate happiness a person can experience in this world is dependent upon marriage.

אמר רבי תנחום א“ר חנילאי כל אדם שאין לו אשה שרוי בלא שמחה בלא ברכה בלא טובה בלא שמחה דכתיב (דברים יד, כו) ושמחת אתה וביתך בלא ברכה דכתיב (יחזקאל מד, ל) להניח ברכה אל ביתך בלא טובה דכתיב (בראשית ב, יח) לא טוב היות האדם לבדו

Rabbi Tancḥum said that Rabbi Chanilai said: Any man who does not have a wife is left without happiness without blessing, without goodness. He proceeds to quote biblical verses to support each part of his statement. Furthermore, the מהרש“א says that although Klal Yisroel is currently in exile, bereft of true joy, the celebration of a new home is an exception.

According to the Rambam (Ovel chapter 14), it’s a rabbinical commandment to make the חתן וכלה happy. This is achieved by increasing Simcha at the wedding celebration and by adding a new face at each שׁבעה ברוכות (Kesuvos 8a). The sixth blessing of the Sheva Brachos revolves around this theme of bringing joy to the bride and groom.

The Divine Presence does not rest upon anyone unless there is joy (Shabbos 30b). We see this is the case of the Nevi’im, who did not prophesy whenever they chose but would prepare themselves, with music to attain a deep level of joy, as it is written: “And it came to pass when the minstrel played, that the hand of the Lord came upon him”. The music and rejoicing of the wedding then are what enables חתן וכלה to create the בית נאמן, the house of faithfulness that the couple will build since joy increases faithfulness, the intimate connection with Hashem. The initial creation of the בית נאמן parallels Hashem’s creation of the world. Just as the original creation was completed in seven days, so we observe seven days of celebration following a wedding in order to complete this holy creation. Where is the Source to observe 7 days? The Yerushalmi in Kesubos 2b writes that Moshe Rabbeinu established שבעת ימי המשתה. (Look at

פני משה וקרבן העדה there)

The strength of the connection with Hashem upon the creation of the Bayis Ne’eman surpasses that which can be achieved by the man or the woman as individuals. Hence the Simcha associated with marriage is greater than the ordinary Simcha with which we must serve Hashem.

To understand this deeper we must go back to the first “marriage”, that of Odom and Chava.

The Gemara (Yevamos 63a) implies that marriage is essential to a man’s essence:

א“ר אלעזר כל אדם שאין לו אשה אינו אדם שנאמר (בראשית ה, ב) זכר ונקבה בראם ויקרא את שמם אדם

Rabbi Elazar said: Any man who does not have a wife is not a man, as it is stated: “Male and female He created them…and called their name Odom” (Bereishis 5:2).

Odom refers to male and female as a unit. However in Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer 12 we learn:

ר” יהודה אומר על שם אדמה שלוקח ממנה נקרא שמו אדם, ר‘ יהושע בן קרחא אומר על שם בשר ודם נקרא שמו, ומשבנה לו עזר אש שמו והוא אש.

Rabbi Jehudah said: Because of the name Odamah (ground) whence he was taken, his name was called Odom. Rabbi Joshua ben Ḳorchah said: He was called Odom because of his flesh and blood (dām). He said to him: Odom! Odom! And when a help-mate had been built for him, his name was called êsh (fire), and she (was called) êsh (fire).

There appears to be a contradiction between these two sources. How can R’ Yehoshua ben Karchah say that both names changed to אש when the Torah explicitly states they were called Adom?

The answer is found in the pasuk (Bereishis 1:27) זכר ונקבה ברא אתם (Male and female He created them). Rashi says here that He created man with two faces, one side a male and one side of female at the original creation afterward he divided them then he built a helper from him as it states (Bereishis 2:22):

וַיַּפֵּל֩ יְהוָ֨ה אֱלֹהִ֧ים ׀ תַּרְדֵּמָ֛ה עַל־הָאָדָ֖ם וַיִּישָׁ֑ן וַיִּקַּ֗ח אַחַת֙ מִצַּלְעֹתָ֔יו וַיִּסְגֹּ֥ר בָּשָׂ֖ר תַּחְתֶּֽנָּה

וַיִּבֶן֩ יְהוָ֨ה אֱלֹהִ֧ים ׀ אֶֽת־הַצֵּלָ֛ע אֲשֶׁר־לָקַ֥ח מִן־הָֽאָדָ֖ם לְאִשָּׁ֑ה וַיְבִאֶ֖הָ אֶל־הָֽאָדָֽם׃׃

So Hashem Elokim cast a deep sleep upon the Odom; and, while he slept, He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that spot. And Hashem Elokim built the bone which he took from Odom for a woman and he brought her to the man. Whilst they were one creature, they were called “Odom”. After being separated they were both called “esh”.

How can two fires live together without consuming everything?

מה עשה הקב“ה נתן שמו יו“ד ה“א יה, אמר אם הולכים בדרכי ושומרים מצותי הרי שמי נתון ביניהם ומציל אותם מכל צרה, ואם לאו אני נוטל את שמי מביניהם והם נעשים אש והאש אוכלת אש, שנ‘ כי אש היא עד אבדון תאכל ובכל תבואתי תשרש.

What did Hakodos Baruch Hu do? He put His name (יה) between their (names), saying: If they go in My ways and keep all My precepts, behold My name is given to them, it will deliver them from all distress. If they do not (walk in My ways), behold I will take away My name from their (names), and they will become êsh (fire). And fire consumes fire, as it is said, “For it is a fire that consumeth unto Destruction” (אִיּוֹב‎ 31:12). (Pirkei d’rabbi Eliezer 12)

True שמחה can be achieved only when one gets married. A man (איש) and a woman (אשה) together provide a vessel to contain Hashem (יה). By following in His ways, a couple can live together peacefully. If they neglect to maintain the presence of yud and hey, they both become אש, a fire that will consume both of them.

So we see from the above Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer 12 teaches an important lesson to all mankind what a true marriage is. It is between a man and a woman and for what purpose? To multiply and be fruitful and populate the world as it states in Bereishis 1:28 יְבָ֣רֶךְ אֹתָם֮ אֱלֹהִים֒ וַיֹּ֨אמֶר לָהֶ֜ם אֱלֹהִ֗ים פְּר֥וּ וּרְב֛וּ וּמִלְא֥וּ אֶת־הָאָ֖רֶץ וְכִבְשֻׁ֑הָ Hashem blessed them and Hashem said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and master it.” However in the last sixty years has seen a rapid decline in the area of sexual morality, even to the extent that so-called orthodox rabbis advocate for tolerance and acceptance of LGBT communities. In past articles, I have shown how the decree against the generation of the flood was sealed once same-sex marriages were legalized. In our generation too, there appears to be a link between governments legalizing and promoting such unions and the apocalyptic events of recent months. The liberal view is that what people do in the privacy of their own homes is their own business, but the Torah perspective is quite the opposite. As the Rambam writes. הלכות מלכים פ“ט ה“ה “עַל כֵּן יַעֲזָב אִישׁ אֶת אָבִיו” זוֹ אֵשֶׁת אָבִיו. (בראשית ב, כד) “וְאֶת אִמּוֹ” כְּמַשְׁמָעָהּ. (בראשית ב, כד) “וְדָבַק בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ” וְלֹא בְּאֵשֶׁת חֲבֵרוֹ. בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ וְלֹא בְּזָכוּר. (בראשית ב, כד) “וְהָיוּ לְבָשָׂר אֶחָד” לְהוֹצִיא בְּהֵמָה חַיָּה וְעוֹף שֶׁאֵין הוּא וְהֵם בָּשָׂר אֶחָד.”:

“and so a man will leave his father” (Bereishis 2:24), we learn of the prohibition with his father’s wife; “and his mother” (ibid.) – this is learned in its literal sense; from “and cleave to his wife” (ibid.) we deduce – and not his friend’s wife; from “his wife Or, his woman.” (ibid.) – and not with a male- (homosexuality is explicitly forbidding and the punishment is סקילה, stoning ויקרא 18:22(ויקרא 20:13; from “and they shall be as one flesh” (ibid.) – we learn about the animal or beast or bird since he and they are not of the same flesh;

Marriage needs to be preserved as a holy union, with Hashem in the center. This is the cornerstone of civilized society. Once destroyed the foundation’s collapse. and of course, going against Hashem”s will who create the heavens and the earth. This applies to all of mankind Jews and non-Jews alike.

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Rabbi Abenson is the founder and director of ShaarHatalmud, a unique yeshivah-based online program, which incorporates learning all Kodesh subjects, from Kriah up to learning Gemara, Rishonim, and Shulchan Aruch. He also conducts evaluations, remediation, and training, and consults with school principals to improve students’ underdeveloped skills.

Rabbi Dovid Abenson can be contacted at: Tel. 15147393629, Cell/Whatsapp 15149935300, Email: ravabenson@shaarhatalmud.com