The Bais Halevi (referenced in Sefer Me’shulchan Govoha) asks a famous question: Why does the Torah elaborate on the subject of the chesed of Avrohom (Parshas Vayeira), but does not commend Lot, who risked his life when he opened his home to the Malachim when they came to Sedom?

Answers the Bais Halevi: To be hospitable to Malachim “iz nisht kein kuns” [“is no feat”]. Lot knew that the traveling guests were Malachim, while Avrohom did not. Avrohom Aveinu was most hospitable even though he assumed that they were visitors who worshiped avoda zora (he requested that they wash the dust off their feet –Baba Metzia 86b).

I propose another possible explanation:

Let us compare what Avrohom and Lot did prior and subsequent to their respective acts of chesed. Avrohom, weak from having undergone a Bris Milah, waited outdoors in the extreme heat, searching for and seeking guests. After he served his guests, he completed the mitzvah by doing levaya, accompanying them as they went on their way. Subsequent to that, his next act was one of kindness, davening that Hashem have pity and spare the evil people of Sedom.

When the Malachim arrived at Sedom, it was Lot’s day to be “designated Judge” (Rashi). He sat at the gate of Sedom meting out the cruel “justice” of Sedom – the tall man condemned to the short bed, and vice versa, etc. (Medrash Rabba). After the Malachim sent Lot out of the city, he became totally intoxicated and was most inappropriate with his daughters. Not only one night, but the next night as well (Rashi 19:33). Both prior to and subsequent to Lot’s act of chesed, he did horrible acts of wickedness and depravation.

Let us compare how Avrohom and Lot related to their families. Lot was alone and isolated in his chesed actions. His sons-in-law mocked him, and his wife undermined him and complained about him as she sought to borrow salt from their neighbors. Lot offered his daughters to the evildoers of Sedom –distorted and warped priorities (Ramban).

How different was Avrohom! He involved his son Yishmael – “vayiten el hanar” – in order to teach him and involve him with Mitzvos! He also included his wife by requesting that she knead and bake “ugos” (cakes), and at the end of the meal, he sent her the “kos shel brocha”.

If one is a true baal chesed, he does chesed “beforehand”, does chesed “afterwards”, and his actions have a ripple effect and are contagious to his family as if by “osmosis”. That was the true essence of Avrohom Aveinu as opposed to Lot whose chesed was superficial and not internalized. Lot merely externally copied what he saw in the House of Avrohom, but his inner essence and fundamental nature remained unchanged.

The Torah in this week’s parsha (Ki Sa’Tzei 23:5) unequivocally prohibits men from Amon or Moav [descendents of Lot] from entering and becoming part of Klal Yisroel; this because they would not give “bread and water” to the starving Yidden as they traveled in the desert “on the way after they left Mitzrayim”. Clearly, nothing remained of Lot’s chesed!

This is directly in contrast to Avrohom Aveinu where the pasuk says (Bereshis 18:19) “For I (Hashem) have cherished him, because he (Avrohom) commands his children and household to follow him in keeping the derech of Hashem, doing charity and justice”. Chesed permeated Avrohom’s house and household – at all times – and it became naturally ingrained and instilled in Klal Yisroel.

The Gemorah (Yevomos 79a) brings this posuk to show that gemilus chasadim (performing acts of kindness) is one of the three defining internalized traits of Klal Yisroel, along with rachmanus (pity) and bai’shanus (bashfulness).

(Pinchus Gershon (PG) Waxman has already published five seforim, called Palgei Mayim, containing original Divrei Torah on the Parsha and Yomim Tovim. He learned for many years in Yeshiva of Staten Island and was a close talmid of Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l. He then learned by Rav Dovid Soloveitchik Shilta, and then for many years in Bais Medrash Govoha).