Submitted by a Howell resident: “Around 3 am someone tried to break into one of our cars but left when the outdoor camera light turned on. We just want to know if you could post this so people in the neighborhood are aware of this guy breaking into cars.”
(Via TLS Status)
Thief Confronted by Outdoor Camera Light Sends Angry Letter to JCP&L: “How Come the Power Outages Never Occur During Burglary Hours?! Please Adjust the Timing of Your Power Outages to Better Suit My Schedule And Needs!” He Says
A local car thief, who recently was confronted by an outdoor camera light in Howell, NJ as he attempted to break into a car, sent an angry letter to JCP&L demanding that the company adjust the timing of its power outages to better comport with his “work schedule” and his “hours of burglary.”
“I can’t perform my job properly when those hideous camera lights are suddenly turning on and shining menacingly upon my masked face,” the clearly ticked-off robber wrote to JCP&L. “I demand that my privacy be respected, especially during work hours when I desperately need all the privacy I can get!”
“Please adjust the timing of your power outages to dovetail with my hours of burglary,” the thief added. “Thank you.”
“P.S.”, he added, “if you heed my request, I’ll give you a 5% cut of my profits, depending on the particular vehicle that I’m dealing with, and the mileage and the year the vehicle was manufactured.”
However, a JCP&L spokesman later told reporters that the utility company “does everything within its power to provide the public with power outages as often as possible, in order to accommodate EVERYONE’S needs – not just the robbers, but the non-robbers too!”
“We don’t pick and choose who we’re going to accommodate with our friendly power outages,” the spokesman said, “we cut off the power to EVERYONE, as often as we can, so that both robbers and non-robbers can enjoy the darkness of night as it was meant to be – without the intrusive lights – and so that NJ residents can cherish life’s natural beauty without all the light bulbs, the electricity and all that silly high tech stuff.”
You think you’re funny but you aren’t.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter, don’t mind.
Your satire is brilliant. Don’t stop.
Guys, that perp in the car break in did not “flee”. He walked away.
Love it!