Submitted: Support Group Needed

I would like to inquire about any support groups for husbands who are in a toxic relationship.

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16 COMMENTS

      • The hotline gives plenty and plenty of practical tips. I did not answer to just have more bitachon and things will work out. I answered with a phone number that has thousands of callers and has helped me tremendously.

        • The letter writer wasn’t asking for tips. He was asking for a specific resource which the hotline doesn’t offer. You may as well post the hotline for every need posted on this site, traffic problems, too much gashmius, chinuch struggles, shidduch crisis, cleaning help, technology, etc. If a Yid asks for help, don’t answer him to have more bitochon. The hotline can be very detrimental for people that avoid dealing with their problems the correct way & instead create an imaginary bitochon formula that they’re not holding by. (As per a well respected Rov & Rosh Yeshiva in town that I heard from personally) You need a Rov to guide you how to use the hotline correctly.

  1. I’m sure people will say lots of things here (as of writing this no other comment has been finalized by the editor to go to posting), but I can only say what I believe.

    It would seem to me that a support group would be for something that is more of a long-term thing that one needs help dealing with along the long way. If it is a truly toxic relationship, which to me sounds like a somewhat abusive relationship, it’s not something that should really be continuing. However, if this is something that is happening with a spouse and would require a divorce and is not a random relationship with someone in the office that could just be walked away from, then a rav should be consulted as to how to proceed or whether or not something like a divorce needs to be happening.

    For support until then, in a situation which is serious like this, one should get true benefit from a therapist one on one rather than a support group. A support group for this kind of thing would mean starting a group for people who are in a situation that needs to end as quickly as possible, and starting a group with that premise seems to be not a good utilization of the energies it requires to start.

    I don’t like the way the sounds and I think a therapist is the best way to go to deal with this for the pain that it is causing him and his day-to-day life, while also speaking to a rav or, if needed, a marriage counselor to see whether or not the relationship can be viable long-term.

  2. @Bitachon
    To me it would seem that you are negating the questioner’s question. They are being responsible to reach out for help and you’re responding that they should trust in Hashem more. That’s seems quite crude.

    • Not at all! It has helped me tremendously with depression and anxiety. It mentions a lot about different spouse relationships and how to deal with toxic relationships. If it doesn’t work for you I very much understand but please understand it worked for me A LOT!

  3. Coming from a women I am so so glad you are reaching out for support. People only think women are in toxic relationships but men are in them too!

  4. So why doesn’t someone start a WhatsApp group only for people dealing with this issue and people who can offer help and advice and can also be privately contacted including therapists and marriage counselors to be part of the group chat and it should have a lot of hatzlacha for those in need of the help.

    May we always remember that in truth the help is really coming directly from Hashem and these are all just messengers but we all need to do our hishtadlus

  5. I would say reach out to your therapist about what support groups are available.
    If you are not in therapy, but in a toxic relationship (I’m assuming marriage but it is not clear from the post) then please take the step of finding a good therapist.
    They can’t change your situation but they can help you find and utilize tools to cope with it. (And not always is the first therapist you try the right shidduch so don’t get scared off if it doesn’t work right away).

    There are several support groups for both men and women through some of the known therapy agencies. Especially if there is mental illness involved (which can likely be the case which is causing it to be toxic). As someone who has both made sure to get a therapist and attended support groups, I recommend that you reach out to a therapist to guide you to one.

    • Many women who are claiming to be agunos are actually the ones making the trouble and not taking gets being offered to them. Many men are korbonos as these women get quite comfortable with the rachmanus they get an even more so all the support and money that they have little motivation to take a get. They are out to make the man miserable for whatever reason. Once a lady has supper both emotionally, financially many women don’t care as much. I personally know of stories where men were thought to be reshaim but it was the women making the issues. U fortunately the man is the one who becomes the korbon. I would b very careful before giving money to many of these women

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