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I agree 1,000,000%. However, sometimes there may be something going on in someone else’s life that makes that vacation a necessity. The point is very, very valid though
I think there should be a distinction between vacations. Someone who can’t afford full tuition should not be going on an all out vacation to another country or flying to the other side of this country. There are plenty of nice places in drivable distance that the kids will enjoy and I think that’s perfectly OK to take your kids to.
I feel like this post is just asking to start a huge debate online!
😋🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
Let the angry commenters commence! 😂
isn’t that the case with most of these “letters” and opinion posts?
Dumb question
Why?
This is not a “question”. It would be wrong. I don’t see what the debate here is.
Good to see you are open minded.
If you’re going to Miami for the Presidents conference then it’s OK
The answer is, it depends. In the perfect world, of course not. But have you, the one who is able to pay tuition in full every month ever thought about cutting out your vacations and paying the neighbors tuition? Perhaps the sholom bayis of your friend is on the rocks because they have not paid bills in months and he is out of a job? His in-laws finally got wind of it and decided to send the couple away for 10 days to try and regroup, reframe, get some fresh air so they can withstand this nisayon? Maybe they simply need a desperate recharge? Maybe they watched you and your family pack up and go to Eretz Yisroel with all your children for succos and their kids are jealous and begged mommy and totty to please take them somewhere also?
Never judge your neighbor, friend, family member etc. I have been in the business of schools for over a decade and have seen situations where everything looks rosy but the complete opposite is true. Two nice cars in the driveway means absolutely nothing as you probably know. So when your friend goes to Florida for midwinter vacation, maybe it’s because they need to feel human. Their children need to feel like they are also like one of the neighbors that travel to their brand new summer home or extravagant chol hamoed trip.
Next time this thought crosses your mind and you have the means to do so, call their school and pay their tuition for them before you spend 30-50k on your first class tickets to wherever and a yom tov away with your family in some luxurious hotel being pampered. I hope you enjoy it and live it up. But maybe, oh maybe, the reason they need the vacation is because of you?
Love this comment… Soooo true
I am by no means wealthy. Nor do I go on big vacations or live luxuriously. When my children were growing up, we just explained to them that there were some things we couldn’t afford even though others could afford them. My parents did the same with me. However, it’s a problem in more recent times that people who have the means have to worry about other people trying to live beyond their means to keep up. Of course, it’s a wonderful, high madreiga to minimize one’s gashmiyus so that the bar isn’t raised. But is it evil if someone who has the means enjoys the fruit of his labor? Is it his fault if others can’t control themselves and live within their means?
If you are making the monthly payments, why not?
While vacation is very important for sanity in a crazy nonstop spinning world, most people normal people wouldn’t go on vacation if they didn’t pay their mortgage or don’t have enough money for their basic groceries. So to tuition should be treated the same, the school isn’t at fault if you don’t have enough money for tuition and vacation.
With that being said, vacation is definitely important and there are more affordable options than flying to Florida or Cancún and needing to pay tickets and a car rental. Staying in a Jersey hotel for 2-3 nights will be a fraction of the price and will still give you a change of scenery and the ability to de-stress from the day to day life.
If you are paying for the vacay… no.
If someone else is sending you on a much needed health vacation and paying for it – yes.
If you have ways to do free vacations- yes.
You never know! Don’t judge. Years ago, we used to have some free tickets on points and hotels but had very little money to live off of. We did take some vacations to make memories for the fam but they didn’t cost us much at all and make us able to offer and pay more tuition than we were paying (that said, we did need a tuition price break but we paid that amount on time or as close to on time as possible – but I’m sure ppl judged when we flew off to a few vacations or when my little kids talked about going to hotels even though it didnt cost a penny!)
U can get $ for your points.
Not saying someone should never go on vacation but that’s not an excuse.
If you pay month by month and won’t delay a payment due to Vacation than ofcourse u can go on vacation. If you need to choose between Vacation or tuition, than you should consult with your LOR.
Depends on many factors that shouldn’t be up to the school to decide if it’s a valid reason or not. Schools forget that they aren’t the arbitors of everyone’s private life.
Most people need a break. However not all vacations are equal. A $10,000. vacation may be inappropriate, but a $1000 or less vacation can be acceptable and right to do…road trip or cheap flight and accommodations
You can’t judge because you don’t know how people are paying for their vacations. Maybe a family member paid for it. Maybe the father or mother has a business which uses credit cards and they earn enough points for a paid for vacation. Maybe they won free tickets to somewhere. Don’t judge people by the vacations they take.
No!! But it also depends what kind of vacation and for how long. if you won’t be able to afford to pay tuition after you should go away for one night
You cant judge period !! Schools are great but they don’t own you !! Go judge that !
This question should be addressed by the family Rov. Every situation is different and there are many levels of vacation, and lifestyle expectations. Definitely every family needs to go on a vacation in the summer. Perhaps a mini get away for Two days. They Definitely can take tzedaka funds as well. Should they find someone willing to give them.
Some times the question should be addressed by the couple’s marriage counselor or the children’s mechanchim or mental health professionals.
Anyone other than on-line yentas.
I think they should just give me their money instead😁
Don’t judge someone until you walk in there shoes…
The Lakewood people are the best in judging…
Never know what’s behind this vacation. Some people need to rest some time. We are all working hard and having big family’s it’s not easy…
I protest this wholesale Lashon Hara on Lakewood.
The question has nothing to do about judging others – why are all the comments about judging others. The questioniare wants to know what is right – ASK YOUR LOR !!!
You own your money and have every right to spend it how you wish.
If you don’t pay the school the school should take you to a din torah to force you to pay. If you don’t have the money to pay then you are an oines.
If the school wishes to kick your children out for not paying, they may do so as well.
I feel bad for your kids if they were to do that.
I think you should weigh the benefit of going on vacation vs the negative effect of having your kids kicked out of school or causing someone else to pay for their tuition. I guess the question would then be whether you should be taking Tzedaka for your kids tuition if you’re going on vacation… I think it depends on who’s giving it. If you don’t know who that person is you should ask you LOR.
I think schools need to start accepting MILES/Points for tuition – because that’s what I use to go on vacation –
If needed.
With seichel.
The problem is that the definition of “needed” has changed. We have become so soft that nowadays a vacation is “needed.” Those of us who grew up with parents who survived the Churban in Europe, know that people can survive without a vacation, even when “needed.” Our parents lived with alot of stress, but rarely, if ever, went on vacation. Times have changed. Now a vacation is treated as a necessity. Maybe that’s true. But it’s definitely a sign of the times that people can’t deal with any adversity.
Tuition is no different than any other bill. Don’t treat it differently and then you probably won’t have these questions.
Of course you should go on vacation.
If you don’t pay your tuition, do you think the school will close down? They will fundraise the money somewhere else.
But if you don’t pay for your vacation, nobody else will.
The question isn’t if one paid full tuition. The question is
if his “child’s tuition (whatever that may be agreed upon) has been fully paid.” If so, the parent has met his obligation to the school and doesn’t have to answer to anyone concerning the rest of his spending habits.
I think this question was to get people to think and not necessarily to answer. However, I will add my 2 cents. I think vacation is an absolute necessity for people’s quality of life especially with the stress that goes on in this generation. However, if parents decide that they need a vacation and they try to use points or whatever they can to minimize their personal out of pocket expenses then it is ok. Yes, people can cash out their points, however, people usually try to get points for this reason which is to earn a way to an affordable vacation.
Should a rebbi, who’s salary “isn’t enough to cover basic living expenses, so we need to raise tuition”, go on vacation?
Avi you said you were lowering my tuition
within range is the proper answer, full tuition is more than it actually costs in many cases
children need parents & parents need a reasonable break for their specific situation
one more point; if the executive director goes on vacation so can u, u dont need more mesiras nefesh than the head office staff..
as a child my father wanted me to see rav shneur zatzl so there was a peylim dinner and my father called and innocently asked can i pay a little and i wont eat.. and thats what we did .. ofcourse today if u eat a main dish by a dinner it doesnt cost the mosad anything at that point
At this point sometimes cheaper to go to Florida than New York using miles and a relative/friend’s house as opposed to paying NYC tolls
I do not think anyone should be asking this question at all. We do not know what is going on in other peoples lives and that is how it should be. Everyone has something going on that we know nothing about. הצלחה to everyone and may הקב׳ה provide for all of us that which we need.
We definitely don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives so we can’t make a blanket statement. But using miles isn’t a free vacation. I sell my miles and pay my bills. I’ve done that when I married off some kids. It was very helpful. Think again before using miles for a free vacation instead of paying your tuition. Besides very often it’s cheaper to sell the miles and pay for the vacation.
I think we should not judge others. For yourself do your best. Each person is responsible for their own behavior. And also responsible not to judge what others are going through.
I also think tuition is extremely difficult and expensive and it would be wonderful if there could be a solution so that people do not need to max out their credit cards on basic expenses in order to pay tuition ontime. But BH we have big families and it is part of the Bracha.
The main thing is do not judge. You see someone going away? You have no idea what they are going through. Even renovations maybe their relatives paid for it but its not the type of relative that would help with tuition.
You just don’t know. So don’t judge and do what is right for yourself.
I believe every parent should feel gratitude and appreciation for their childrens frum education and do everything in their ability to support the schools.