Submitted. Do You Agree?


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  1. Tzadikkel, relax with your anxiety. Go to bun burger kitchen, or hop over to your local steakhouse and take it easy. Hashem is taking care of everything, and your anxiety isn’t helping

    • A person can’t just shut down their emotions & if they try to, they end up numbing themselves to both positive & negative feelings. Hashem doesn’t expect children to be on your level of bitochon & they certainly can feel anxiety from the news. Fear & anxiety is a natural instinct Hashem put in us & unless a person reached the highest levels of bitochon, they will feel it. It’s easy knock people that suffer the painful emotion of anxiety as though it’s a something they choose to have. Telling an anxious person to relax isn’t much different than telling your headache to go away.

  2. I agree for our children, and on the other hand I agree that public support could help the cause (or lack of it could hurt the cause), but in Lakewood there is not much need for public support.

    A term which would be less anxiety-provoking for our children would be ‘HOSTAGES.’ Kids relate to kidnappings but not to hostage-taking.

  3. No. My kids have seen many ads and havent said much. If anything they should daven more and really feel for their pain. This is a reality for everyone at all ages. The pictures don’t have anything on it thats traumatizing. May we see them come home soon and no longer need these ads!

  4. Not sure I think as strongly as the OP that it’s such a huge problem, however, I do feel that in a place like Lakewood, where most of the population is Jewish, the Cons outweigh the Pros….

  5. I’m not an educator we should probably get the opinions of educators however let’s imagine the kids who are kidnapped how are they doing? Unimaginable

  6. Dear writer,

    You bring up a valid question. I have a 10 year old and 9 year old that read and suffer anxiety. I can’t speak for other’s children, but I can speak for them. This did come up. They both talked and keep talking about it. I think it was and still is among the most valuable lessons for them. We as parents (and their therapists) have a job of raising our children. Not just to protect them, but to help them rise to any challenges that comes their way. Shielding them means they won’t have the tools to overcome the challenge. Teaching them how channel their feelings into saying tehillim, doing more mitzvos, and being extra kind to the people around them, is really our job. It’s challenging to us parents, but it’s reality. BH our children, despite it being hard, have been able to overcome the continuous fears. Thank you Hashem! Had we protected them from it, they would grow up without the ability to cope with the reality of life.

    Thank you for caring though!!

  7. I 1000% agree! My grandkids are going through such anxiety over the entire situation and it’s only compounded by them seeing the KIDNAPPED signs spread all over town.

    Having these signs up in other cities is the right thing, but here, where we all know what’s taking place and are all actively davening nonstop, it’s just not the right place.

    • And which towns do you propose they be posted in? Are their children less anxiety sensitive to these situations? Or are they just less educated and updated with what’s going on in the world currently including this war in Israel? What’s your exact reason for being fine to post in other towns but not Lakewood? We are all responsible for one another and currently all our brethren are suffering for the pain their family and relatives are going through and Hashem is waiting to see all of klal yisroel return with Achdus together ASAP for serious Teshuva and Achdus together so Hashem can send Mashiach already bkarov.

  8. Yes! I was just thinking the same thing. While as adults we should be feeling pain for the tragedy in e”y, there are many of us who did not feel the need to share the gory details with our children. While I did tell my 10 yr old son what is going on, I did not tell him that children were taken hostage. I feel that this particular detail is deeply traumatizing for children to hear and did not want him knowing. I am sure many parents feel the same way!

    • If your kid goes to school he was likely already informed by kids whose parents didn’t shelter them. I think you should bring it up as a kid of 10 probably heard from friends and he’s probably too scared to ask you about it. Better he be able to discuss it with you openly and you can discuss it.

  9. I heard from Rebbetzin Jungreis daughter that when it came to bad news her mother would not hide it from her kids. Her words were “Some children cry over chocolate or treats but my children will cry for the pain of another”

  10. One of my most powerful memories from my childhood is my mother hearing news of a terror attack and sitting down by the kitchen table with a Tehilim and crying for the klal. I learned to really care for others, not run and hide from everything. We are bringing up a weak generation that can’t handle anything.

    On motzei Sukkos, the whole family sat down for 2 hours and said tehilim slowly and with feeling.

    What we try to teach our children, tragedies happen, Hashem is gozer and our job is to daven better, learn stronger, care more.
    Your children will not have an issue seeing this billboard if they are davening for these hostages.

  11. Why not change the text to #bringthemhome. It doesn’t need to be explicit that they were kidnapped, while still bringing awareness to the gravity of the situation.

  12. I think there are also other reasons not to post these signs, they dont really accomplish anything here in Lakewood, they should be posted in Washington, Manhattan, etc. Where the politicians would read them, saying thilim would accomplish more

  13. Just saying, my nearly teen-age daughter came out of her bed last night at 12am crying that she can’t fall asleep because of nightmares she’s having. Questioning what they are, she said about the war. We never discussed it in the house, so I asked how she knows about it. She responded, on the bus on the way to school she sees the posters with the pictures of little children. Yes, it is no good for their health and for many are way too young to handle this…
    By putting it on in the open, you are exposing children of all ages to this. Teaching your children about tragedies should be a parental responsibility with them deciding when are where it is appropriate to give over the message.

    • Maybe you should not allow your child to “learn “ these things from others on the bus. Rather you should be sitting down and having a conversation with your children

    • You haven’t spoken to your almost teenage child about the war? She has most definitely heard about it in school (hopefully from her teachers and not only her classmates), on the way to school, from neighbors etc. It would be best you bring up these topics and discuss them with your child so they get correct information.

  14. If my child was kidnapped I’d like for there to be signs plastered everywhere. I’d do anything to bring awareness and bring them home! Yes, it’s difficult to speak to your children about it but that doesn’t make it the right thing to take it down! Do the work, ask a professional how to speak to your child but to shove it under the rug, that’s not right!

  15. There’s has to be awareness for whats happening in E”Y and don’t tell me that we already know whats going on so we don’t have to put posters, did you ever stop for one second and imagine how much 240 hostages is or what these hostages are going through right NOW and thats besides for all bereaved yidden who lost siblings children parents grandparents and if anyone here personally knew/knows someone there they would do anything in the world to bring awareness and get them out

  16. Reb Yitzchak Sorotzkin said “We don’t need to make an awareness like this. This is a counterporductive hishdadlus. The umos Haolom only get more enjoyment when they see our pain. We need to spread an awarness to daven for the Geulah”

  17. I agree they should change the wording, but t the same time this is amazing chinuch that we show our children that we actually care about our brothers in Israel.

  18. Looking around, I see two personality types. There are those children and adults who are so worried and anxious and can’t stop thinking of the situation. And there are those who are really not tuned in, it bounces right off their back and they are just focused on their day to day life. Obviously the goal is to try to stay in the healthy middle place, to care and think and worry but not obsess and get dragged down. I believe the ads are very valuable for the less-focused among us, to keep their terrible plight in the forefront of our minds, and to remind us to daven. Personally it is very moving and helpful to me to see real faces. But it’s a good idea to tone the ads down so as not to cause pain to those who are already so distressed. The ideas of writing “bring them home” or “hostages” instead of “kidnapped” are good ideas.

  19. I think we all agree that the ads that say “sitting in traffic? Say a kapittel tehillim…” are very nice. I usually do say tehillim when I see it, and who knows how many others do, too. A big zechus. Thank you.

  20. Chiming in as another mother who heard from my six year old that she sees it daily on the bus. We say Tehillim in our home for the soldiers and for all the yidden affected. We daven that this should be the final war.
    My daughter knows generally what happened on Oct 7 and she knows why we are davening. However I felt no need to share the heart-wrenching drama-inducing concept of young children ‘kidnapped’ from their homes by killers. Young children have run-away thoughts, and imagine every bad thing happening to themselves. I don’t see any benefit to such young children imagining such things happening to themselves. I don’t believe there’s a kiyum of nosei b’ol from that.

  21. There is a concept in the Torah of למען ישמעו ויראו I won’t expand on the examples that chazal provide because every chatzi lamdan will say it’s different, but there are times Chazal wanted the tzibbur to get exposed to tragedies or evil behavior etc
    If you child has anxiety then I’m sure this isn’t the only episode that brings it on and whatever remedies used to therapize them in the past can be used in this case too
    I don’t elaborate on the “ cure” but I’m addition to professional help there is also the opportunity to strengthen in emuna and bitochon hence it should remain as is

  22. Maybe if these signs were worded differently there would be more to gain both for the adults and the children. The word “kidnapped” with nothing else written doesn’t seem to be the perfect choice of word here. Why not something that includes Hashems name, an inspirational quote…I really don’t think I have the answers, I just know that when I see those signs it translates into an image that divides between yidden and people who hate yidden and nothing beneficial. A new design is needed. The second sign above is beautiful and very appropriate for Lakewood.

  23. I have an 8 year old who suffers from anxiety which stems from her very empathetic nature and the ability to put herself into other people’s shoes. She internalizes any challenges that others are going through and has a hard time separating herself and, in addition, worries if it could happen to her. ChaiLifeline’s trauma staff were so incredible and prepped me to have a conversation with her to explain what happened in EY on her level, allow her to express her fears, and then to assure her. However, the word Kidnapped is very triggering and damaging for her. I completely agree that the sign that encourages people to say tehillim should be placed everywhere. But perhaps as someone suggested, changing the word “Kidnapped” to “Hostages” would allow kids to place it in the context of the war and not internalize it to themselves. No question that the pain of the hostages and their families is beyond us to comprehend and we need to keep our hearts and tefillos with them at all times. But bear in mind that many children are not equipped with the tools yet to deal with the devastation that took place and it’s not an expectation we should have of them. May the hostages be returned to their families immediately, and may Hashem give THEM the ability to heal from the trauma they have undergone.

  24. would you rather see ads about latkes and punchkes that you might enjoy [?!] during the game break while our brothers and sisters may be spending Chanukah not in a hotel nor at home but in some beasts’ dugout?

  25. Not sure how signs are helping the cause is mr hamas saying oh boy its bad we have to let the hostages out lakewood is putting up signs?! like really whats the point

  26. My daughter has asked me not to drive down certain roads in lakewood because of the signs. she has sever anxiety, having been thru the horrors of the war first hand this past sukkos. its hard. but i cant say that just cuz my daughter suffers, the whole lakewood should make a decision around her. at the same time, why cant we change the wording, like why does it have to be negative and past based? why cant it be hope for the future, like we are daving for their return…MHO.

  27. 100% agree, its not called sheltering our kids, it’s called removing from them whats inappropriate for them to be able to handle at their appropriate age. Do we fill them in on all worldwide news, always, do we allow them to watch any kind of “video”, if not why not? Their mindds are not developed and cant process information, all the more so traumatic information, the way we (hopefully) know how to.

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