1. Storm Leaves Roads Flooded in Lakewood, Residents Banned From Swimming On The Roads Unless Accompanied by a Certified Lifeguard
   In light of the recent storm that has left many roads in Lakewood flooded, township officials warned local residents to avoid swimming on the flooded roads unless accompanied by a licensed and certified lifeguard.
   “From past experiences, we’ve learned that local residents who’ve gone swimming on flooded roads, have either received giant welts on their foreheads from banging their heads against the street curbs, or have stubbed their toes on rusty curbside nails, or have been bitten by unruly creatures who seem to thrive inside the floodwaters,” a senior township official told the ‘Lakewood Swimmers Gazette’ on Sunday. “Hence, law enfocement officials have issued an injunction banning residents from swimming on the stench-filled, flooded streets unless accompanied by a licensed lifeguard with at least 10-years experience in supervising swimming activities in putrid-filled, rain-drenched roads.”
   “Violaters will be subjected to a minimum fine of $200,” he said, “and will lose their rights to go swimming again in any, and all stinky and sledge-filled floodwaters.”
   “Standing next to me,” the township official said, “is an unfortunate fellow who lost his sense of smell and taste, and nearly lost his mind, after swimming in a dirty, polluted, smell-fouling, flooded alleyway last year.”
   “Don’t be a fool and swim in a flooded, dirt-filled, foul-odored road unless that particular road has been cleared for swimming by both local authorities and a certified lifeguard, who has at least 10 years of experience supervising swimming activities in the most disguting, flood-filled roads known to mankind.”

2. If you happen to see large items or rocks near the street storm drain, I think it is a good idea to remove those items right away. Large items are able to slip down the drain sideways. Next time take a good look at the drain and you will see that sideways a large item can slip through.

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