Does spirituality and psychological well being have any connection? Healthy spirituality provides us with everything we need for psychological well being. It takes work to develop and a lifetime of growth, but the ROI is worth it.
How does spirituality provide us with our psychological needs? A foundational concept in many psychological theories is that the psyche is comprised of multiple parts.
One part, we’ll call the “adult part”. The adult part of us is pragmatic, logical, grounded and is motivated by a sense of mission and purpose. Another part, we’ll call the “child part”, is more feeling based. That part contains our emotions and impulses but also our creativity, spontaneity and fun side. Spirituality provides for the needs of both the adult and child parts of us.
Optimal well being is achieved when your “adult part” leads your life, while also nurturing and providing for the needs of your “child part”. This also requires you to keep the “child part” in check when needed.
When you are connected to a higher purpose, your adult self is filled with a sense of mission. The reason that you are alive and what you are here to accomplish is what drives your actions and decisions. It also gives you a birds eye view perspective on all the inevitable frustrations, pain and hardship that life will bring. If the only reason you are alive is to enjoy life, then life becomes unbearable. That attitude only leads to misery, hurt, resentment, victimhood and blame for all the people and situations that are stealing that enjoyment from you.
A spiritual perspective gives context and meaning to the hardships of life. You are here for a reason and everything you encounter is an opportunity for you to actualize that mission. That transforms the suffering in the pain into meaning that sustains you. It still hurts, but you can bear the hurt when there’s a life giving purpose for it.
The “child part” in you needs to feel safe and secure, worthy, loved, and cared for. Healthy spirituality provides that on the deepest level. Your worth is intrinsic and God given, regardless of what others think, say or do. This worth is only enhanced with the clarity that you have a custom made mission in this world that only you can fulfill. Hashem entrusted you with this mission and every moment that you are alive is a renewed vote of confidence in you that you can do it.
The child part also needs to know and to feel that he/she is loved. Healthy spirituality is sourced in the belief that Hashem is our loving father. The more you are connected to spirituality, the more your awareness and experience of that love expands. The warmth and security of that love provides the child part with comfort and a sense of safety. This does not mean that everything will be pain free, but the child part doesn’t need life to be painless in order to be ok. The child can endure pain as long as he knows and experiences that whatever happens, he is being held and taken care of and that he doesn’t need to worry. Healthy spirituality provides that belief and its experience that the child needs.
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Chaim Moshe Steinmetz LISW is a psychotherapist in private practice and provides in person and telehealth therapy internationally for a variety of issues. Aside from the traditional weekly session model, Chaim Moshe also offers the “Master Session”. A “Master Session” is a unique, targeted, single session that is transformative for many issues. For more info, and to subscribe to “From Stress to Serenity” emails, visit https://www.chaimmoshesteinmetz.com/