Readers’ Scoop: Where Will Your Wife Be Davening

Readers Scoop smallWhere I live, there really is a lack of places for ladies to go for davening, assuming that they are able to go to shul.  The following is true in my neighborhood, and I must assume it’s true in other areas of my town, and in other towns as well.  There are regular small Shabbos minyonim that have no minyan at all for the Yomim Noraim, because the men want to daven in Yeshiva (or in a larger shul), and who can blame them?  However, if they were to participate in a local minyan, this would make many seats available for women at that minyan.
 
In case you are saying, “Why do women need to go to shul at all?” I’d like to quote from a recent article by Rebbetzin Jungreis.  She was conducting a tour for a group of women in Eretz Yisroel and recounts the following.
 
By the time we returned to Yerushalayim, it was close to 7:00 p.m. Nevertheless, Rabbi Friedman, of the magnificent Belzer synagogue, waited for us and welcomed us. The beauty of the Belzer shul is beyond words, but even more significant is that every part of the shul, down to the smallest detail, was constructed under the supervision of the Belzer Rebbe.
What I found most inspiring was the beautiful story that Rabbi Friedman related about the old Belzer Rebbe. When the Rebbe built his original shul in Europe, the women’s section was not yet completed, although the men’s section was ready. The men were anxious to begin davening there, but the Rebbe would not grant them permission. He explained that the tears of the women were needed to ensure that the prayers of the men would reach the Heavenly Throne.
  …. by the time we arrived in Amukah, we found ourselves in total darkness. There were no lights or candles to illuminate our path. Nevertheless, our group was determined… so we slowly made our way to the graveside of Rabbi Yonasan Ben Uziel. Since it was pitch black and we couldn’t see anything, there was no point in opening our siddurim or Tehillim, so we decided to offer prayers from our hearts.
            Then, as if from nowhere, chassidim appeared, carrying breathtaking lights. We felt as if they were malachim from Hashem sent to give us illumination. But when they came close, they told us that we were standing in the men’s section, and we women would have to relinquish the place. 
 For a split second we were disappointed, but then I decided to speak to them and related the story of the old Belzer Rebbe, who taught that the prayers and tears of women were needed to open the Heavenly Gates. Without a moment’s hesitation, they agreed to let us daven first, while they remained outside to daven Maariv.
 
I’d like to suggest the following.  If the men of the local minyan will arrange, in pairs, to share a seat in Yeshiva, they can switch off – one davens Yeshiva the first day, and in the local minyan the second day, while his counterpart does the reverse.  (The could even split each day).  Thus, they will have the merit of davening in Yeshiva and making it possible for their wives to daven in shul as well.

A mother.

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13 COMMENTS

  1. dear mother, instead of wondering how to fix up the ‘women davening on yomin noroyim crises’ why don’t we work on getting all mothers who use the treifa internet, to stop using it. it is dangerous & gives a bad message to our children. ah gutte yor, another yiddesha mamma

  2. awomens place is at home not in the shul,let them come for shofar bluzin and tend to their children at home and get the yom tov seudah ready for their families

  3. In my humlble opinion I think the source of the problem is the women of todays generation are not properly taught/ guided to what there role in yiddishkeit is.
    Just keep in mind that there are nebach women out there who WISH they had “children” to be their reason for them not being able to go shul….. Yes, even on the most helige days of the year!!!!

  4. I can proudly say when my wife won’t be taking care of our son (I.e. Nap time) she will be davening at home.
    Know ur place in yiddishkeit and spend some time every day day appreciating the gift of “CHILDREN” that the rebono she’ll olam gave u, and u won’t complain about what you have to do or what u can’t do
    Have a ksiva va chasima tova and a gut gebentched year, and I vintch u that the rbsh”o shud hear and answer your tefilos no matter where they come from!

  5. JerseyShore says:
    SEPTEMBER 15, 2009 AT 12:31 PM
    no more internet, haven’t you ever heard of the praise, “practice what you preach?”

    *** Typo, I meant to say “phrase” NOT “praise.”

  6. As a great Godol once told a women about staying home on Rosh Hashana “You don’t want to be home changing your kids diapers? What is the Ribono Shel Olam doing on Rosh Hashana if not taking care of his children?”

  7. Yoish. I am trying to make a constructive suggestion – and it would gradeh alleviate some of the lack of seats in Yeshiva.

    I should have realized I would get all this flack from some bored souls who have to criticize everything.

    Of course I am talking about those who don’t have children yet, mothers whose children are all old enough to go to shul, older girls who want to be in shul, even mothers who take turns watching each others children so that they can be inspired by the davening in shul.

    Don’t worry, I stayed home with my children when they were small. I should have signed “A Bubby” – then would you allow me to go to shul without assuming I don’t appreciate my children?

  8. I daven at home. My children are little and need me. In truth, I can daven with a lot more kavanah while they play than if I took them to shul and I wound up sitting outside so they shouldn’t disturb anyone. By why should a Bubbie whose children are all grown and married or a wife who is not yet blessed or a young woman who is waiting for her zivug not be able to have a place to daven.

Comments are closed.