Dear TLS: I am a 23 year old single guy who goes to the gym every day, diets, and would like to think of myself as a good-looking guy. I also recently returned from Eretz Yisreol after going 2 years to a very respectable yeshiva. The reason I put great efforts into making sure I look good and have everything going for me is because I am hoping to marry someone similar to me as far as looks are concerned.
I have not made this a secret to the shadchanim I deal with. Maybe, this makes me shallow or maybe it makes me just aware of one of the things that I think are important for a shidduch.
I recently dated a girl whom the shadchan gave me an impression was what I was looking for as far as looks are concerned. I had to travel out-of-state to date this girl and put wear and tear on my car. The shidduch was not for me from the moment I opened the door. I realized that the shadchan lied to me as far as this girls looks were concerned. When I discussed it with the shadchan the woman told me to go on a second date since looks can grow on a person. I told the shadchan that I would not be using her again.
This experience also has me considering another rule I think should be done with shidduchim as a whole. Shaddchanim should require that all shidduchim resumes contain at least one picture of what the person looks like. I think this will greatly help both parties and save time on going on dates that aren’t nogaya.
Many of you may say I’m just shallow and that I’ll never get married. However, the Gemara in Kiddushin that states a guy must see the girl before marrying her seems to defend my position. Secondly, for a yeshiva guy who is makshav sedarim and has limited money this will help him manage his time and money more efficiently.
I hope the shadchanim take this consideration to heart.
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