On behalf of parents who have a child with a diagnosis to parents who have children who have one as well or portrays symptoms. Please read as well, if next year you’ll be sending your first child to school or applying next year. We have a child in STARS and cannot get our child into school. Why? Because of STARS name filled in on the application. Yes, there are schools who say they do take STARS kids (some say they like them better since they come in well rounded) but they don’t usually come through. Reason: siblings and why should they have to service you child when they have so many other problems already. You live in Lakewood, earn a parnossa and so, no, you can’t run into a different town for after all, your child is a year behind so no school has left over slots for your child.
I am writing, more begging you all; please get a home based program through insurance (Medicaid won’t give you enough) for your child. You need to give your child all the therapy before 5 so they’ll be perfect to be accepted! No one is interested in dealing with extra problems. My child was not accepted to 5 schools! Why? The label. How much pain do you have go through? Lakewood is growing by leaps and bounds and if you have your first child starting school next year it’s almost impossible to get your child in period. Let alone the label of STARS. Do it for yourself and your child.
My heart cries with every rejected child’s parents because we’re all in the same boat. Something has to change, don’t be scared to pound the Vaad and anyone one. CALL the big people in this town; they have a responsibility to you. May Hashem bentch all of us to have koach to get through this without scars.
Tracht Gut Vet Zain Gut!!
I live in Lakewood for 27 years. About 20 years ago I was also rejected and I sent to my second choice school. I did cry about it I did write letters. I think in the long run it was better he didn’t vet accepted to that school. BH he turned out just fine. Even though be did not get accepted to the school I wanted. Today he married in Bmg shtiging away.
The schools in this town do whatever they want.
Many of them have a rabbinical board but the school admin/principal doesn’t consult with them.
In summary; the school situation in this town is messed up.
is this about boys schools or girls schools?
Sorry mistake I did cry about it and did not write letters
#1 Do not write that your child whent to stars!!!there is nothing wrong woth that!!!
#2 there is a big shortage of schools that’s realy the problem,not that your child whent to stars!!
Hatzlacha rabo may you only have nachas from your children!!
I agree with #6, I know a few pple with kids that went to starts and got into schools without a problem, I think the biggest problem is the shortage of space in the schools.
Schhools need to get thir act toghether this is out of hand
I know girls schools are hard this year, and supposedly over a hundred girls are out of school, but it hurts so much. I’m hopeful all kids will get in, and I know the Vaad takes care of everyone, but it’s the not knowing and feeling rejected that hurts so much.
To #4. I know girls schools are hard this year, and supposedly over a hundred girls are out of school, but it hurts so much. I’m hopeful all kids will get in, and I know the Vaad takes care of everyone, but it’s the not knowing and feeling rejected that hurts so much.
Everybody assumes that there is some phanton vaad whose job it is to make schools as needed. There is not. Schools are big money losers because of low and unpaid tuitions. Schools have no money to hire extra professional staff to deal with children that need extra help. If people in town would fund iur local schools properly , most of these problems would go away.
A famous method of dealing with anxiety is thinking about the worst that can possibly happen and come to terms with it.
The truth is that the more people are anxious to get into schools, the more power the schools have.
People need to come to terms with keeping their kids out of school. If I had to do it, I would do it. If I could not afford tuition and needed to keep my kids home, I would do it. If schools fill up and no more can take my kid, I would also keep them home.
Don’t feed the power. Come to terms with keeping your kids out of school.
You will relax, have control, have bitachon, AND be in the best position of actually getting them into schools.
The Vaad and all the rabonim and all the askonim would love to open as many schools as possible. But they need your help.
Who here is volunteering to open a school? The Vaad will help you. All you need to do is agree to work like a dog to raise money for the school, and also you need to agree that as soon as you fill up and have no more room, that you will get blasted for being such a terrible person for not taking in all the people who insist on going to “the best” school.
It’s as easy as that. Any volunteers? The vaad will help you and support you.
I would venture to say (from knowledge) that all the complainers have made the situation worse. It used to be that people felt good and enjoyed opening a girls’ school. Today, because of all the chronic complainers, who take it out on the existing schools, people are just interested in going through the hassle of opening schools anymore.
It’s much easier to open a mesivta.
The time has come for Mashiach Tzidkanu. AMEIN.
if your child ages out of early intervention and still needs services you can contact Brain Builders, they accept most insurances and provide a variety of services.
@13, I would gladly volunteer to open a school. But who in this town would listen to an older single, despite over 13+ years of experience with children of all ages? Not a single one 🙁 it’s a sad reality that in a place like this, no one will take you seriously if you don’t have a ring on your finger and a sheitel on your head!
Fyi, I had strong strong pull into an ‘in demand’ school. I was told I was ‘in’. When the principal found out my son was coming from stars he did whatever he could to stop us from sending. I was told by someone close to the principal that he did not want my son in his school. (There was nothing so terribly wrong with my son, he was getting some speech and OT. He did excellent in his interview.)
Bh I had applied to a back up school (never dreaming I would send)and they were wonderful about not throwing my sons history in my face. He is doing wonderful, and I have tremendous rachmanus on the hundreds of yiddishe kinderlach enrolled in the ‘elite’ yeshiva who have a principal who doesn’t want to have to ‘deal’ with any child who doesn’t exactly fit the perfect child mold. I will say that if its your oldest boy/girl, don’t send to stars unless they absolutely need it. Its just not worth the hassel and i did not feel anyone from there tried to help at all with the process,the opposite in fact.
Yid-lol
If everyone in town sold their $800 bugaboo strollers , there would be enough money to open up 4 schools.
I make this comment to point out how priorities in this town are completely backwards.
Before blaming the situation on the fact that your child is in Stars perhaps make certain that your family adheres to all tznius standars as this is a top priority especially when applying to Lakewood mosdos.
I can only offer my sympathies I have a child with a diagnosis and I am now trying to get into stars I am listeining to your advice and bezh getting therapy through insurance. My husband always comforts me when we hit anohter block in the road and says “hazrein bdimah briana…” so when I cry I just dream how wonderfull he will be one day.
My oldest child, a girl, is due to start school a year from this coming one. I am terrified.
Hi I have lived in lakewood coming up 2 ten years and I just would like to give you a bit of hope. I am not ur typical lkwd yeshivish family my husband owns his own buisness in lakewood all my children 3 of my children we’re born prematurely and all went through the stars program. Stars gave me hope and made me feel like I did nothing wrong in my pregnancys and this stuff happens its in hashems hands they helped my children progress in leaps and bounds and when schools came up 3 years ago my daughter b”h got in no problems and then a year later my son got in. Things will get better just keep davening also some times ppl aren’t realistic about the choices of schools they r applying I cannot stress this enoughf “don’t kid urself” appl to schools that teach the same hashkafos u live ur life by I know I’m not bais faiga material so I didn’t bother. I hope this gives u some hope/ help good luck and remember no child gets left behind the vaad will place u and u must always hope 4 the best don’t blame stars the staff there is amazing especialy ita she’s always ther to lend a hand
I am ready to help open up a school . All i need is a partner who will put in or raise the hundreds of thousands of dollars and take the responsibility to make payroll every week . And he needs to collect and fight with partents to pay their small tuitions . Once I find this partner , I will help by giving my expertise and Eitzos .
I can’t wait for vouchers!
Daven Daven Daven!!! Only One who can help!!!!!
We, too, went through the struggle. I would agree with the person who said it’s important to adhere to the standard of tznius that is expected in Lakewood. You want to be sure your daughter or son is going to school with children who come from families where this is important.
It doesn’t take much. It could be anything that sets off an alarm. In our case, it was a past experience with another family member’s child. No blood relation to ours at all. The school that denied him was nasty about it – and I have never forgotten. Hashem truly knows what is best. Our son is thriving at his school and we’re sure it’s where he has always belonged. In fact, I thank G-d the other school didn’t accept him. They aren’t good enough.
Keep praying and don’t be afraid to call in favors if need be.
Never give up/
WAKE UP EVERYONE THIS IS OUR BIGGEST PROBLEM & WE GOT TO FIX IT ASAP!!!
I am willing to bet that there is a tznius or attitude problem so first look at yourself in a mirror and then get back to us
yes there is a shortage of schools in lkwd, yes there is a problem of parents not paying their tuitions in lkwd, yes there are priciples who will only take ‘perfect’ children, yes yes yes….
however i agree that the PRIORITIES IN THIS TOWN ARE MESSED UP BIG TIME!!!!! look and count the amount of stores which sell “EXCLUSIVE CHILDRENS WEAR”. am i crazy? why would you spend $75 for a sweater for your 3 year old??? do you pay full tuition, help tomchei shabbos, bonei olam, a time, hatzalah??? do u know how many people are suffering in this town?
i think that everyone has to realize that you cant have ur cake and eat it to. how could u walk around with a $800 stroller when either you didnt pay full tuition or ur neighbor didnt?? if everyone would pay their share of tuition then people wouldnt be scared of opening more schools.
and btw…… there’s nothing wrong with a ingle girl opening a scholl….actually, it might be better since she doesnt have other responsibilities yet…..
people….take ur head out of the sand….and guess what…… its not an aveira to work and learn and make a few bucks to pay ur tuition…. guys….its time to grow up and grow up fast!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is no shortage of space in the girl schools I don’t know where people got there information from! The problem is that people only want to go to 6 schools lchatchila: (moderated) and they don’t want to go to the other schools that’s the PROBLEM!
That is also true, there are two or three schools that have room but noone wants to go there! There is no shortage of space for girls……….
#30. Why can’t I walk around with an $800 carriage if my neighbor doesn’t pay full tuition?
my child went to stars and we could not get into a school. my child was home for 15 months. all the schools that we applyed to said that they dont want problem children and going to stars you get a label. my child really didnt need to go to stars but was pushed in because we thought the extra care could only be a benifit.
tznius is not an issue in our house we are all very careful of how we dress. even my 4 yr. old dresses tznius compared to the girls in her class.
I myself have heard people calling up askanim begging them to kid their daughter into one specific school. That specific school had 10 slots and 200 applications for those 10 slots. Some of these parenyts refused to even entertain the idea of sending their daughters to other less fashionable schools.
Our priorities are definitely messed up when parents only want to go to the best schools, and then complain when they are rejected from the best schools.
instead of calling up every aunt uncle cousin rosh yeshiva rav teacher mentor and great-grandparent to call the owner of the school why dont you try begging Hashem for help???
@37, yes, but you have to make hishtadlus 😉
how does one go about starting a school here? do you just decide one day to open up a school, or do you have to talk to a board of rabbanim first to get approval or something?
People keep mentioning tznius, well I didn’t get into my first choice school, which was fine because they had few slots and unlike many pple in lakewood I don’t assume I’m so wondeful and important that the school needs to take me. However a few friends and a relative did get in and trust me, I would never walk around in the short tight-ish clothing they wear, not to mention designer handbags. But guess what, they had what the school was really looking for-money. So don’t believe that a schools priority is tznius!
Who says that the reason why people are so desperate to get into the in-schools is because its fargonable? Maybe its because they like the hashkofos? Someone who is very careful about tznius for example, doesn’t want their child to be in a class of girls who aren’t so mokpid on tznius. Someone who doesn’t even have a radio playing in his house doesn’t want his childs friends conversations revolving around the Yankees and the Mets. It may not bother me personally, but I can definety understand where they are coming from.
Schools are afraid to accept any child with even a slight issue. Why? The typical principal in Lakewood has ZERO training or education and are totally unqualified for the positions that they hold. Some may claim “experience” but 20yrs of unqualified experience is not really experience (would you go to an untrained dentist with 20yrs “experience”?) On top of that, the average school in town hires teachers that are 19yrs old and straight out of seminary again with no formal training. The bottom line is that they are not equipped to educate anyone let alone a child with the slightest problem. No wonder we have a At risk issue!!!
Therec are ( li ayin hora ) almost 3 new classes born every WEEK . That means that every month we need a new school . Yet the vast majority of parents want these schools to be built for them while paying reduced tuitions . Rabosai ,the math doesnt work Schools need big money to be built and to be maintained . On a second note ,een when somebody makes a school and undertakes to schnorr o fund it ,he is always way behind because the patents pay tuitions very late ,if the pay at all . Thee is absolutely no money to hire any professionals to deal with problerm children or even ood children who need special attention .
Parents have to realize that in the public school system ,there are millions of dollars being gven to the schools to deal with children who need elp . In our scools ,if the parets d not coe up withthe money ,how do you expect the schools to do ths .
Somewhow parents expec that there is some magcal Vaad that pays for schools . well guess what . There is and its called tuition . And until parents are going to realioze that Tuition should be theirfrst priority ,we are neve going to fix Lakewoods school problem .
lmost 3
If parents would pay full tuition ,then schools could afford t hire teachers that are more qualified with a lot of training . Bottom line is that experienced teachers cost a lot of money andthe parents are not willing to pay for it
More modern schools outside of Lakewood o tend to hire Principals and teachers with more qualifications . And yes they charge tuitions in the 15,000 to 25,000 range . You cant expexct the same level of service if you are only willing to pay 3500 for tuition
Very interesting comments. I think that most people agree that there are just not enough slots to go around. This makes it that much harder for someone with even a slight issue to get into schools. This applies to both non-tzniusdik families and children with “issues.”
Is it fair to lump the children who have no choice about their issues, together with children whose parents can change themselves?
If everybody gave their maaser money to support local schools ,then most of these problems would disappear .
To all those who want to live the way you want We here in lakewood have standards and for those who choose to live so for those who shall I say live on a different level don’t be shocked and supprised when you don’t get accepted. If you can’t cotroll youself for the sake of your kids why should any school take on that task. Now of course your child desrves a proper chinuch so I say to you find a place to live that you will be accepted don’t come here Ànd do whatever you want and then cry from rejection. Sorry for bieng so blunt but in many cases that is what’s going on
lakewood is the fastest growing town in the state
and needs more schools to be opened period
dont blame the old schools that dont have room or even if they do they should not have more than 25 per class at the max.
attn # 42 and 43 you are in dreamland. Many parents can not pay full tuition. we can’t and don’t even know what a bugabee looks like. our stick stroller costs $19.95.we can’t even afford food and you make it sound as if we are comitting a sin for not paying tuition we can’t afford?! People who don’t have income can’t pay. instead of cursing them how about doing a little chesed and help people find jobs they can pay tuition with? By the way, the co-op has no management jobs or any other jobs. now what?
Nobody is in Dreamland . Nobody i cursing anybody for not paying tuition . The commenter was just stating a fact . We are living in a society where the average person can not pay tuition necessary to allow our schools to operate normally and hire and pay people . This is not a curse or a Tayna . it is just stating a fact . So you can not complain when there are not enough schools and you can not complain when schools have no funds to hire specialists to deal with childfen that need more attention and you can not coplain when schools take easier children who are less of a drain on their meage resources .these are the facts whetjer you like them or not .
every (moderated) in town leases a new sienna or oddisey for around 400 a month and when they go to school they handel every last dime to get their already low tuition lower……..and then pay 2-3 months late if you are lucky, somehow forgetting about it untill someone calls……then when the schools have no room we want them to stop drop and open 2 new classes, just make an extension……hire more staff….. whos gonna pay for it all? I say the truth, I know it well, I do it too! and so do you! i complain like everyone else because its the easy way out! But all kidding aside to the one reading this comment. ARE YOU UP TO DATE ON YOUR TUITION? AND IM SORRY BUT 2 MONTHS BEHIND DOES NOT COUNT! WHO IS PAYING THE REBBI OR TEACHER UNTILL YOU GET AROUND TO CATCHING UP ON YOUR ALREADY REDUCED TUITION? and to the minority who does pay ontime im sorry please be mochel me…….but chances are you are not the one reading this narishkeiten anyway. you are probably not the one complaining…..and guess what you are probably the ones getting your kids into schools!
I spoke to a school administrator . At least 80 per cent of parents do not pay on time . 2 months behind is the norm . Those parents are considered good . A very small percentage pay full tuition . A growing number are more than a year behind . Full tuition in most Lakewood Mosdos is a fraction of out of town Mosdos tuition . It is an open miracle that the schools stay open and pay their staff .