Reader-submitted: Where’s the decency?

Dear TLS and all residents of Lakewood. 

First of all, I’d like to thank you for your hard work in giving us a Kosher news forum and a forum to express ourselves in a civil way for all going on in Lakewood and beyond.

I write this as an observer from the sidelines.

I Baruch HaShem have a job and don’t have time for immature issues, however, I felt that this something important to bring up.

From time to time I’m forwarded clips people take of others talking at various meetings in town. And what bothers me tremendously is the tone by some of the speakers.

Where is the Menchlichkeit? Where is the decency? I don’t care if the person sitting up there is Jewish or not, and if you feel Heimish enough to talk to these people like you’re in a coffee room. But this is not okay.

You’re frustrated about traffic or other issues in town? So am I and many others. But that doesn’t give you the right to speak with Chutzpah and shout or curse at these people – many who are volunteers giving up their family time to be there.

And what about the Chillul Hashem? Do you not realize these things go around chat groups etc? If you have an issue to speak about, feel free. But show some respect. Everything can be said, it’s how you express it.

Thank you.

E. M.


(TLS welcomes your letters by submitting them to [email protected])

This content, and any other content on TLS, may not be republished or reproduced without prior permission from TLS. Copying or reproducing our content is both against the law and against Halacha. To inquire about using our content, including videos or photos, email us at [email protected].

Stay up to date with our news alerts by following us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

**Click here to join over 15,000 receiving our Whatsapp Status updates!**

**Click here to join the official TLS WhatsApp Community!**

Got a news tip? Email us at [email protected], Text 415-857-2667, or WhatsApp 609-661-8668.


  1. 100% agree with this. It really takes very little effort to become used to talking like a mentch. Everybody will feel better and will actually communicate.

  2. Two points
    1: chazal say ain adom nitphas bshass tzaroi… people are really suffering whether it be taxes business being hurt or traffic so maybe you should dan lkaf zchus its really bad now…
    2: its only a few people like that don’t paint the opposition in a bad light or twist it that way because some people dont act according to manners you dont like. Lets have a torah view over here and not attack another…
    Try to put yourself in their shoes then talk

  3. I thought the torah view was basic, act in a way that Hashem will be proud of you. Don’t keep on making excuses for ones rudeness.

  4. One other point I would like to make is that someone can get really upset if what they feel is right to them the other side uses it to smear them personally. For instance their anti yeshiva(not) not cairing for anothers needs(not) crazy(maybe) but to personally attack someone who disagrees just elicts back such a response from that person

  5. I didn’t say its ok
    But here is a question for you to put it in a different light
    Lets say you have a kid who had a very troubled childhood and went otd
    Aren’t we all told dan lkaf zchus …. why do we as a society see this as excused (or not but understandable)because of a hard maatzav but not people who suffer living in Lakewood because of whats going on???
    I am not saying its right chas vshalom just daan lkaf zchus

  6. And to add there is no such thing in the torah as “rudeness”
    Kaas, gaavah, malbin pnie chaviroh ect but no nowhere in the torah does it say “rudeness ” its a secular concept just like manners like how to hold a fork and knife
    Maybe you can tell me where this halacha midah ect is brought down

  7. I for one don’t get the whole jist of what this reader is writing in his letter… and I certainly don’t get the point of these posters. If s/o (who doesn’t have a job) could please shed some light…

  8. Torah im Derech Eretz. Basic stuff. People who are Chutzpadik are just immature and egocentric. Even “righteous indignation” shows a lack of character and some king of agenda. There are basically two things that need to happen to correct the situation. Let me paraphrase Chazal, The Ibn Ezra said that 1 in 1000 in the community know how to behave in society. The Gra modified that to say 1 in 10000. So the first thing you can do is lower your expectations of others and the second thing is to pray for wisdom for all of us.

  9. I agree 100% with the writer of this letter. I’m embarrassed watching some of these clips. Some people just get to the mic and just lose all their self worth and decency.

  10. Please don`t wag fingers .
    Most of us feel used by the establishment .
    These people just are fed up.
    They envy their friends who have moved to Toms River , Jackson and Howell and just want their quality of life back .

  11. After reading the article and comments, I was surprised that no one brought up what I saw as the big issue here…since when is it okay to video people and pass it around to all your contacts….is it just me or am I missing something..yes, I use what’s app a lot etc but I’m very careful to decide when I get something no matter r how cute it is etc, to decide if it’s appropriate and okay to pass it on.

Comments are closed.