Opinion: The damage was done, but you can prevent it from getting worse

opinionBy now most of us Whatsapp or other social media users have seen the viral video of the two young Frum girls rapping in school. And most of us have probably also heard the voice note going around of one of the girls pleading with people to not continue to share the video.

From what I heard, the girls were expelled from school, though I cannot confirm it. I won’t get into the discussion if the school was right or wrong (if they indeed expel the students), that’s a whole different subject. I also won’t get into the topic about the girls’ decision in allowing themselves to be filmed, or the Tzniyus aspect that many have brought up.

However, the point I’d like to make here is that the social media apps today have pretty much taken away our ability to make proper decisions due to the fact that that ‘share’ and ‘forward’ buttons are just too tempting not to press – of course on someone else’s Cheshbon. Because after all, I need to be the first on the family or friends group chat to share the video, or I will look like I just don’t have the ‘hock’.

Of course we’re just forwarding the clip, and hey, what did I do wrong? The clip ‘is already everywhere’ and I’m doing what everyone does.

That is the problem, and the damage is beyond stoppable. Do you know how many more thousands of people watched it because of your simple ‘ forward’?

But more so, does the fact that the video exists on Whatsapp give you the right to forward it, knowing the damage and embarrassment it has caused and continues to cause the girls?

Think about it. If it was YOU in that clip, and you were embarrassed about it, you most definitely wouldn’t want it to continue being passed on. No, you won’t be able to stop it from making its rounds, but you can stop it from going even further.

Our judgment needs to improve. And while social media today encourages us to be the first to share the hottest clip, take a step back and think about the potential damage you may be causing – before you hit that ‘forward’ button. That one click may just ruin someone’s life.

Thank you,

K.S.

Lakewood, NJ.

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28 COMMENTS

  1. To K.S,

    Don’t write that you heard they were expelled and then say but it’s unconfirmed. Just like you wrote in the article that you have to be careful about what you say and share. Practice what you preach! I know from the school that they in fact NOT expelled. Don’t send in an article if you do not have all the facts. That’s how lies get spread and people get bad names out there.

  2. First of all the girls were not expelled (confirmed). It was filmed with s teachers phone and girls do such things all the time in school.
    Second of all these girls got some amazing brilliant talent which they should be proud about! You know how many girls around the world got inspired by these girls? It was obviously not filmed intentionallay to get publicity and definitely not to become an Internet sensation.
    Third of all I don’t think anybody is judging these girls nor did they ruin they’re future shidduch prospects.
    Fourth of all cudos to the aurther of this article. Job well done and well written!!

  3. To confirmed source i think that’s exactly the point rumors lashan haara are spread this way. Whether true or not thats the problem stop getting so indignant the writer is right. I work around buchrim and the damage from social media is extensive wake up people we have something very bad brewing under the surface

  4. WhatsApp. eradicates all privacy, causes loshon horah, and rumors to be spread and is just wrong on all accounts. It is total lack of tznius to go blabbing to everyone , everything and anything about all you hear, see and do. You want to just share things with your closest relatives and friends, maybe that’s okay, but when it goes around the world like wildfire, that’s NOT okay.

  5. After the holy temple in Jerusalem got destroyed, many people would like to ask Hashem, “why didn’t you stop it?”. I guess Hashem is also allowed to ask , “You saw my 2 daughters getting destroyed, why didn’t you stop it?”.

  6. In my view this is so overblown. I saw the clip (only after I learned of this story posted on TLS) and it seems like two young very talented girls having a good time. Nothing was comprised as far as tznius goes, not in their dress nor in their words or actions so let’s take a deep breath and take it for what it is ….two girls having a little fun.

  7. I’m so glad to hear that the girls didn’t get into trouble. I do hope that’s true at least. The girls were just doing something for fun and had no idea what could happen. I’m older so I find this whole culture of “sharing” what you do, even the most mundane activities, to be totally foreign and really not my thing. I don’t have What’s App and even though I know I’m missing out on a lot of family fun, I so don’t want to be part of the whole “sharing” culture. What happened to just keeping things to yourself and privacy?

  8. What was so bad about that, and why should anyone be embarrassed.
    The rap was pretty good, and the lyrics were smart. They were rapping about the good things and problem things they have seen growing up in a community. Not everything in life can be rainbows and sunshine.

  9. No one is saying there was something wrong with what they did the point is us how we as a society are infected by social media. It’s ruining us and no one gets it . It’s become fact that this is normal and its not. Lashom haro and feelings are ruined so easily. You are connected to the lowest elements of society through these social networks. Thats the problem forget privacy and having your own life there are even more basic issues. Instagram is evem worse tznius lo sachmod ect why wont people wake up.

  10. Just curious as to why my comment wasn’t posted given that my comment was almost verbatim to some of the others posted on this article.

  11. By writing this op-Ed I hope you don’t cause anyone to go looking for the video. I for instance never heard about it. But now I did. No, I don’t plan on viewing it but there might be someone who will. Before this whole .com world, there was never such dilemmas. Yes there were still many problems , but they are now multiplied by thousands.

  12. What I meant by “these dilemmas” was, to print such an decent nice op-Ed and risk causing others to go searching for the video who otherwise wouldn’t have, or not writing it because of the stated concerns.

  13. These girls should be proud of their talent. I find absolutely nothing wrong with what they did. They did a great job and stayed tasteful with their lyrics. Kudos.

  14. Lesson: Whatever you do, even nothing wrong, do you want the world to view it? Bottom line: any photo or any video on a phone, especially on a smart phone, is just a click or two away from the world. Keep that in mind before you record anything in 2016.

    (by the way, those girls did a great job, and had clean good fun; just not my business or yours)

  15. I thnk it wrong to be expelled there no reason to do that. They have not committed crime or broke school rule. Everyone who want to kick out a child that reason is a fool. Because that is not proper way of education. I know these girl were having fun. The school have no right to expelled these girls. I think they should just teach them the good side of the world. The girls should be forgiven and I don’t think they had intention to spread out their video across whatups apps. I have rachmonos on them. Everyone should agree with me. If you were in their shoes maybe you feel the same. It not a big deal we can help them fix their life better by not expelled them. You must accept them back in the school I mean it. I am sure gedolim would agree with me in this issue. I feel it totally Ausur to kick child out of school unless something very bad have been done.

  16. Submitting letters only serve as advertisement to look for a video that most weren’t even aware of. BTW it’s not so good.

  17. The girls were not expelled, that is public news. I’m surprised that the Tls published this piece that only served to bring more attention to this story…it was a terrible mistake, but the silver lining is that it taught a powerful lesson. hopefully all those who have heard the story have learned the lesson of the power of technology…

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