The following was sent out to a neighborhood in Lakewood.
Now that Chanukah has come to end, the next Yom Tov that is coming our way is Purim. Although it is still a few months away, we are sure some will begin thinking about it soon. Before people go out, make Mishloach Manos lists, and start to prepare packages, we wanted to run an idea by everyone to see what they think about it:
We are Baruch Hashem a big, beautiful community, with many neighbors that we see very often. With that being said, many of us prepare Mishloach Manos for a significant portion of the development. While it is definitely a beautiful concept to deliver Misloach Manos to all ones neighbors, some suggested that perhaps it is gone about differently.
Everyone knows that each Mishhloach Manos that we make costs a minimum of a few dollars, even if we keep it simple. We also know, that between neighbors, family, friends, co-workers etc., we end up receiving an over abundance of food and drink ranging from home made muffins, to little vodka bottles, and everything in between. It is almost impossible to consume all of this before Pesach and the result is a significant amount of unnecessary Ba’al Tashchis. Although one may argue that there is something special about actually visiting every neighbor individually, in many instances, people are not home, and Mishloach Manos ends up being put at their door.
The following is an idea that a few people thought would arguably accomplish the same as the traditional model or even more than it, while addressing the above problem:
An undetermined sum of money will be collected from each family. Once collected, 50% of the funds will be put towards a nice Mishloach Manos for each family. With the other 50%, we as a development can partake in a special Zechus together and give a nice sum of money to an undetermined worthy organization.
For example: If we were to collect $60 per a family, we can give $30 x 60 =$1,800 to an organization, and every family will receive a $30 breakfast package from Bagel Nosh on Purim morning. (This is just a sample idea but details can be changed based on everyone’s input.)
We would like for everyone to please give their opinion and see if this is something the development would like to do. Please try to respond in a timely manner so that a decision can be made before people start with Purim preparations.
So nice that someone took the initiative to actually do something. We always have this discussion, but never anything concrete come out of it! Kol hakavod. Hope it works
Great idea
Very very nice and beautiful, but please leave things alone. We’ll all end up being alot happier.
Wonderful idea. I would say to keep it to a smaller amount and if anyone can afford more should on their own
In our family we only prepare a few and we give away most of what we get to other familys. However in a development it is difficult to do this as you share the same neighbors. I agree something should be done. In addition we only prepare packaged food nothing home made.
Absolute genius! Would love to do that by my area!
You can also include a card which says where the tzedakka money is going
In our development we have done it by giving gift cards like $20 to a lakewood store and 2 small foods. However they only ask for the costs which would be the price of $25. Why mix in outside organazations when everyone is trying to make ends meet. Just my opinion. Works great for 7 years and counting.
gorgeous idea!!! zuhl der zchus dir beishetien! (may the zchus be a support for you and yours)
Once we are on the topic of MISHLOACH MONOS, I would like to bring up an other idea.
To alleviate stress, and traffic, all Schools should tell the parents, that you can only give MISHLOACH MANOS, the day before Purim, in School, like this the parents don’t have to run from 1 side of town, to the other side of town, all between certain hours. This would solve the major traffic jam that goes on in the streets of Lakewood on Purim, and it would take off a lot of stress from the parents.
There are a lot of children that it changed their life when the went to A Rebbe or a Teachers house and saw them in a different light.
It is worth the shlep for all the precious Children that need that boost not on school grounds.
Also, You show your child that their Rebbe Or teacher is important.
They’ve been doing that exact idea in my neighborhood since before I moved in (5 years ago) and it’s wonderful.
The way we do it is, we charge 75 cents per family that you want to give to. Obviously the basement families have less people giving them since they are usually not there as long as the upstairs, but they understand that. (I was a basement family there for 4 years). There is one family that runs it and they send out the list of names of the whole neighborhood to the whole neighborhood. Everyone needs to respond by a certain day with who you are giving for and include a check or cash for the total amount. Another thing everyone fills out, is if they or any of their children can volunteer to come to the house and make packages. In addition you fill out if you or any of your children can volunteer to deliver the packages on Purim. each package has a name and address of the family that it is going to and all the names of the families that chipped in for it.
What a great idea! Whoever thought of this must really care for the k’lal!
Stop trying to fix the world. This is the way it has been since Purim came around. Most people I know enjoy giving to all they’re friends. My kids love it and it’s a great way to strengthen bonds with friends and family.
Sounds nice…but in the development the kids can go around alone and deliver it and they feel the excitement but now you will have to drive them around for that satisfaction of delivering and then u will kvetch about the traffic…I guess they can deliver to their friends in the development
Not “whoever thought of it”. It’s “whoever actually did it”.
That is really a Excellent idea i really hope it works!!
In my neighborhood we give Shalach Manos with a card that says “in lieu of a tzedakah card ,please accept this shalach manos”
Its not a good idea. You are causing alot of heiliege yidden to lose parnasah.
Lets face it. Purim supports our grocery stores, supports the party planners, and the fancy chocolate manufacturers. Aderaba, we should give even more mishloach manos, and support so many businesses and their employees.
Regarding the traffic, there is no traffic in Lakewood. Traffic is a figment of the imagination of those who hate us, those who want to make believe that Lakewood has problems. Lakewood is a beautiful town with so many cars that are doing mitzvos. If you have to wait a few hours to get to the next traffic light, this is what Hashem wants from you, and you need to take the time to say tehilim for the cholim and those who voted for Trump, who obviously hates Yidden. But traffic? THERE IS NO TRAFFIC in Lakewood, and anyways its loshon hara to talk about it.
Once we are on the topic of Purim:
L’Chaim! (HIC!)
wasting your time,never going to happen
Wow amaizing. Which neighborhood is this?
Why do you think that you are smarter than Chazal??? Just do the mitzvah the way you are supposed to and stop making cheshbonos. Shulchan Arach says to give more matanos La’evyonim than Mishloach Manos. Just do that and you’ll be fine. Don’t be smarter than the Gemara!!
agreed the current situation is untenable…. and this is a nice idea… but we need to be careful that people are still yotzeh the mitzvah lechatchila. People have to understand this is a way to maximize time for a better Purim… but they still have to be sure each individual properly gives the minimum requirement for shalach manos… just not to 100 different people. You should also still strive to separately send to the people you need to make peace with, etc.
my two cents, Why dont we all instead of sending SHalach Mones just take the money and send it to Tomchei SHabbos and they will distribute it , they will know how and to whom to give it, Just a thought, Sincerely Bubbie Zelda. Have a good warm and healthy winter. Amein,
Sounds wonderful.
There used to be a program called “sent it splendid”. It was operated by yeshiva kitana, and acted as a fundraiser for the school.
Maybe those that ran the program can give you some guidance.
It was the same concept done on a very large scale.
In Montreal Tomchei shabbos has been doing this for twenty years. Everyone recieves one and size depending on the recepients.works great for 20 years. Eases traffic, pressure etc…Raises major money etc.. for tomchei shabbos. However it is a mojor operation with thousands of volunteers.
Sounds Good. I don’t live in a development and usually haven’t been home for Purim in quite a few years so I don’t too much Shalach Monos to anyone. When I’m home I give a small token Shalach Monos to my neighbors and a few select friends. I have no theme and I try to give something homemade instead of junk food. I don’t spend too much and certainly not on the packaging. I may be old fashioned but, I don’t feel I have to compete with the Jones’s.
There is no question that in a certain way the whole thing has gotten out of hand. However, I have always felt funny receiving those cards that say “in lieu of”. If you were supposed to just do a good deed and send Tzedakah, that’s what the Mitzvah would have been. Yet, Chazal wanted you to look the person in the face and give something from heart to heart and from hand to hand. It’s about looking someone in the face, smiling and handing them something as opposed to sending them a WhatsApp as you might do the rest of the year unfortunately. Let’s face it, most people have no interest in the actual smooshed up stuff we actually receive. But we do have an interest in smiling at someone for a change.
Having said that, due to the size of the community, Purim with all the traffic etc has become stressful for some. I wish that everyone would just give to those within walking distance. If everyone did that, everyone would understand. Just a thought. How beautiful it is that we look forward to the next Yom Tov already!!
Your post is right on! Very sensible, not knowing anyone, and I fully agree with the sentiment
Mikol Mlamdei Hiskalty.
How inspiring to see the comments from those that disagree but
still say it in a kind and respectful way so as not to offend another person.
Mi K’amchcha Yisroel.
My children (ages 9 – 27) each of them, the younger ones and the married ones, from when they were little until today, can’t wait for Purim. Walking out into the street and meeting hundreds of others all participating in this opportunity that only happens 1 time all year. Singing, dancing, happiness, exchanging Mishloach Manos. I am serious, my family loves it. A whole year we here and see nebach tzara after tzara and finally a day of good ole fashioned Simcha. Why would you want to take that away? Chazal knew what they were talking about when they were misaken this mitzva. As a matter of fact, one should preferably give mishloach manos to a neighbor or someone that through this act will enhance a relationship that may be strained.
I am not for this idea at all. I am much more for having a class on stress management, or whatever topic is needed to help keep people calm. Let’s keep this special day of giving to others, of supporting others of enjoying others the way it is supposed to be. Make it fun, enjoyable and exciting. Teach your kids the ahavas hamitzva and not “the pain in the neck lets see how we can cut back” mitzva
this idea would be great if we could apply it to the kids and the teachers.
Most of the traffic on purim is because of running to teachers and the KIDS’ friends!!!! Which i think is TOTALLY out of hand – every one of my kids have to have a different theme and give to 10 friends (and spend a lot of $) or else they are considered nebby and no, we are not fancy people and they don’t go to a fancy school and spend the whole day delivering!!! It’s Insane.
I tried so many times to stop this but i do see that they get from so many friends even fancier mishloach manos! and their nebby mother gives them a budget and they feel so deprived – and then they have to eat all their garbage before pesach
i wish there was something that could be done about this!!!
I send my friends a text message on Purim that says: “In lieu of a donation in lieu of Shalach Manos, I am sending you this Shalach Manos text message.”
I’ve tried convincing my wife that we should bring the teachers their shalach manos a day early to avoid the gridlock.
She says I am robbing the kids of their fun (the Grinch that stole Purim?) and part of the excitement is driving through town and seeing all the action.
You know who’s going to win this debate, right?
I may be late but ftr the point of moshloach manos is to be מרבה רעות which this idea completely undermines. How about sending two manos, beautiful and simple. You don’t have to outdo the Jones. What a a brilliant idea lol. I just love how the community invents problems and then instead of fixing the issue we make more issues.
why not have school on purim from 8-11. have a beautiful shachris and migillah and breakfast and have singing and dancing and every boy can give shaloch manos to his friends and rebbe and many headaces and driving can be resolved!!
Introspective. Right on. You got right to the core of the problem.
Actually, in some out of town neighberhoods the shul does this as a fundraiser. Each shul member got a shalach monos from the shul with a card indicating which members asked to be on your card. The amount the shul charged was based on how many cards you wanted to be on. If you wanted to be everyones card it was 180 (that was 15 years ago). It was cost effective and a moneymaker since most people gave 180 and the shul was only giving one shaloconos. The real chesed were the shul volenteirs doing tge designing, wrapping, delivering etc.. By tge way the shuls sholeich monos wasveasily the most beautifull ones we received and I still have some of tge baskets to this day.
This method works well where most of your neighbers / freinds daven in one 1 shul. Sonin lakewood several shuls would have to band togather.
I like Mayo’s idea!!!
Giving tzedaka has nothing to do with mishloach manos. Why not place a limit. Everyone gives their neighbor to the right and to the left, and that’s it! That should eliminate the neighborhood problem. Then you just have to deal with relatives and friends.
Not a good idea at all.
The whole purpose of MM is to increase ‘reyuos’ as stated in shulchan aruch.
By doing so, your eliminating the personal touch and therefore, by in large, defeating the purpose.
Yes, it’s tough. But that’s what chazal instructed us to do. I agree that it’s gotten out of hand over the years, but that doesn’t mean we should change from the ways it’s been done for centuries.
great idea but realistically wont happen
better try to send tzedakah post cards to all your distant mekablim & eventaully that may catch on more & more
keep on thinking of ways to help the klal
ashrecha
How about putting together the money collected for your community towards Hachnasas Kallah for your communities future. It will go alot further.
Thank you to all the thinkers and doers out there.
I think we’re living in a society that has a lot of pressure and doing mitzvos with their “hidurim” are a common outcome of this.
However, let’s keep doing the mitzvos the way they are meant to be done, and for all the thinkers and doers out there- spend time campaigning the public to keep it simple and wholesome. And you each should be an example.
Maybe someone should go to a Reb Chaim Shlita, with these ideas and get a Haskomoh to these ideas that people are suggesting: (1) Klall Yisroel should abolish doing Mitzvois Bizmanom and do them 24 hours before the Mitzvos kick in. (2) Change the Mitzvos entirely and when Chazal say we should give food portions to friends, we should instead give money to Moisdos and cards/wattsapps etc to formally notify the friend that we deviated from the Mitzva as commanded. Are we loosing the plot / going crazy or just becoming Reform L’shem Mitzvah? Who remembers the idea of doing the Mitzva exactly as Chazal commanded or are you suggesting that’s c”v an old fashioned idea!!??
Actually, the original source of Mishloach Manos was a food item for the Purim Seudah (not nosh, junk, candy) and in times of financial hardship, one family would swap their actual meal, main dish & all, with another family, then take the exchanged meal and swap with a second family and that way were Yotze.
So the argument to leave things as they are because was always done that way is wrong.
If this is an ideal solution? Some say it’s been working. So why not try? Hatzlocha and a freilichen Teves! Have a drink! ווייל ביז די קרעטשמע דארף מען אויך א טרינק!
i like the idea of giving only in walking distance. I have been doing this for several years. the only outing is for the kid’s teachers.
having school on purim for two hours is also a great idea.
the last few years people have been delivering on taanis esther to cut down on purim day stress, but this seems strange to me.