Rav Yehuda HaChasid in his Tzava’ah says that you should not marry a girl with the same name as your mother. There are many other things in his tzava’ah as well including other naming issues such as the Chosson and the father in law, the two mechutanim, as well as other issues. We do not follow most of them because his tzava’ah was only for his own family.
However says Rav Moshe Shternbuch (2:619) marrying a girl with your mother’s name is not only from the tzava’ah of Rav Yehuda HaChasid. It is also brought down from the Arizal and is based on deep secrets. Therefore says Rav Moshe Shternbuch unlike in the case of marrying a boy with the same name as your [father in law] which is okay if you call them differently, by a girl you should not be lenient and it should be avoided even if one of them has two names.
Rav Shternbuch tells a story of a young man who married a girl with the same name as his mother and became deathly ill. The Steipler Gaon suggested that his wife change her name and never mention her original name again. Although he made a recovery, Rav Shternbuch says this is only b’dieved and one should not rely on this to get married in the first place. He also says that an older boy who has some sort of defect need not pass on the opportunity to get married because of this and will be zocheh to Hashem’s divine protection.
Author’s Note: We try to convey the Tshuva to the best of our ability. We admit that our understanding may not be accurate. Please also understand that this Tshuva may not be the final word on this topic. One should consult a Rav before drawing any conclusions. Revach.
But what if it is a very common name like Chana or Sarah and the boy is already older and his options are limited?
#1: Ask your Rav. (see end of article)