1. Power Outage Leaves Thousands of New Jerseyans Without Cholent
   A power outage Shabbos afternoon in Lakewood, Jackson and Howell Townships left thousands of expectant – and dejected – cholent consumers without any cholent to eat.
   “I came home from shul Shabbos morning, and noticed that the familiar, tantalizing scent of cholent that permeates my home every shabbos was gone,” said longtime Lakewood resident, Kalman Kishkovsky. “The electric power went out, and my cholent was cold, which basically meant that my entire Shabbos was ruined, because I can’t tolerate cold cholent.”
   “So, I ended up subsisting solely on challah, gefilte fish, egg salad, (cold)-chicken, potato salad, coleslaw, pickles, chocolate-cream pie and doughnuts,” he said, “and then, despite being in an absolute state of hunger, I managed to spend the rest of the afternoon studying the parsha!”
   “Sadly, I’ll have to warm up the cholent saturday evening and eat it for melava malka,” Mr. Kishkowitz said, “which means I can’t have my favorite dishes of pizza and cheese borekas for melava malka! Life’s not easy, that’s for sure!”
   In response to the power outage, JCPL issued a statement Saturday evening apologizing for what it referred to as the “Cholent Crisis.”
   “We could only imagine what it feels like to consume cold cholent on a Saturday afternoon,” JCPL said in the statement, “hence, we are sending out free cholent gift cards to those who were impacted by Saturday morning’s cholent outage and the resulting cholent crisis. Additionally, we would like to advise the cholent-consuming communties of NJ to purchase solar-powered crock pots for all their cholent-consuming needs.”
   NJ askanim are reportedly meeting next week to discuss the aforementioned “Cholent Crisis.”
   “We want to ensure that all expectant cholent consumers are getting the warm bowls of cholent they deserve,” said longtime askan, Ari Tziburfeld, “and that no one is left out in the cold without a piping hot bowl of cholent and a warm slice of kugel!”

   • Lol!

2. Your whining is reminiscent of tRump 🙄

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