1. I think there shouldn’t be mid winter vacation at all. taking into account how much off the kids have in the summer and between Yom tov etc. Imo

2. I think every school should have midwinter break for an extended weekend for parents to reconnect with the kids away from work etc that being said a school /yeshiva should also not have a say where a parent takes their children. We parents pay tuition to teach kids torah etc not what parents can do for work . What car to buy what house to buy and what they cab do with their children

   • of course a school should have a say in what standards are appropriate for their vision.

   • When one parent takes his/her child somewhere not so appropriate, all the classmates will hear about it, and it will affect the standards of the school.
     Students should be bound by school standards for the duration of the enrollment. Hopefully it will set their standards for life.

3. By future in laws

4. As a parent there are enough things I need to say “no” about. I’d rather blame my “no” for extravagant midwinter vacations on the school…

   • A school has every right to ask for parents not to go on vacation to certain destinations.

     They have a dress code.
     They have a language code.
     They have a behavior code.
     They have a ruchniyus code.
     They have an internet code.
     AND IT’S ALL FOR A GOOD REASON!

     So the same applies to vacation. There’s a far more negative impact that can be had on the children when on vacation and the child’s peers when he/she comes back to school.

     Remember, it’s school that has to deal with the aftermath/fallout of these apathetic parents who don’t care enough about their children’s chinuch, let alone their children’s peers with the terrible influence.

     BE SMART, PARENTS!
     IT’S THESE DECISIONS YOU MAKE NOW WHEN THEY’RE YOUNG THAT CAN HAVE A NEGATIVE LIFETIME EFFECT.

     May Hashem watch over all of us!

     • I would agree if we were a community based on tolerance, reasonableness & normalcy. But since we & our institutions are in a race to “Out-frum” each other I’m fairly certain your daughter’s approved vacation will be limited to saying Tehillim in the den (as long as her brothers are not in there).

     • That’s a painfully long list. I believe your missing a few.
       – what underwear company
       -what kind of shoes
       -what kind of haircut

       • May I suggest that you send to Public School. They don’t have these standards and you will be much happier with the outcome. Your children will learn to think for themselves and receive the guidance you prefer.
         Please only send to a school that will not contradict what you are teaching at home so the rest of us don’t need to be michanech our children based on your standard.
         We chose a school so that we can be sure that the atmosphere is in check with our values. NOT CLEAN UP YOR MESS.

         • well said

5. @ap go to parenting classes if you need help saying no, don’t mess up others vacations.
   Also one of the questions of the vote should be can your afford a family trip to Florida, because Im sure most people that say the school can make the decision is because they can’t afford it and don’t wanna be the nebs staying in lakwood.

   • Whoever is not up to date with tuition should not be going on vacation!! Rule #1

   • I think this is a wonderful opportunity for people to realize that what they do and what they say has far reaching impact and just because you can afford something, many others can’t. Now instead of parents having to take out loans so their kids don’t feel like nebs let’s take the moral high road and help these kids feel normal by taking a local vacation in the poconos or somewhere closer to home. I know many will be very very upset with this but then again the right thing was never easy(ok I’m wrong but the tears of countless children should have some impact on you). Also considering the war in Israel I think this might be the year to take a step back from the normal bigger vacations that have become standard in recent years

   • is it bashing people with less money? i can afford vacation, and i do not want the school to decide for me, even though my family does not go on vacations midwinter. I yes can afford it, just not interested. But in general, if certain family cannot afford vacation, they are not nebachs. I hope you are being sarcastic.

6. The first issue is that the schools don’t coordinate with each other making it very difficult for the family to do anything during mid winter. Secondly, parents hire the schools not the other way around, so obviously the parents should have the final say in all matters of Chinuch.

7. If a school bans a place the they must ban the place for school faculty too.

8. Schools are allowed to make whatever rules they want. If you don’t like the rule don’t send to the school. (Obviously this is easier said then done in a society where most people I know don’t actually get to choose the school they send to…)

9. Stop thinking school has a brain and a parents don’t. These strict systems are shutting people down from assuming responsibility for their lives. Like little kids who need to be told what to do every step of the way. Your given a brain exercise responsibility and make your own decisions and don’t look to schools to blame nor assume responsibility for your. . Hashem wants you to think for yourself. After 120 you can’t say ”well the school let’s. And vice versa

   • I agree with you theoretically. However what should schools do when parents do things that are detrimental to the the other students in the school?

   • Especially when you can’t choose your school, not-so-observant parents will be forced to send their children to frummer than they like schools.
     I’ve seen first hand what this can do to the other students.

10. Schools and Parents Respond to Survey Question That Asks Whether Schools or Parents Should Decide Where Children Can, Can’t Go For Mid-Winter Vacation
    Responding to a recent survey that asked whether the decision as to where children can, and can not go for mid-winter vacation should be made by the schools or the parents, 70% of surveyed parents said that the parents should make that decision, and not the schools, while 15% of the parents insisted that, “mid-winter vacations should be taken by the parents, and not the children. 10% of the parents said that: “We couldn’t care less where the children go for vacation! Just get them out of the house, and away from us, as long as humanely possible, and we’ll be happy!”
    Ironically, the remaining 5% of the surveyed parents denied that they were actually parents.
    “Are you referring to those evil monsters who broke the next door neighbor’s dining room windows last week while playing ball?!” the remaining 5% of the surveyed parents asked. “Well, we’re sorry to tell you this, but those bums you’re referring to, are not OUR children, and neither are those miscreants who kept the entire neighborhood awake last night while making a ruckus outside!”
    “They may CLAIM to be our children,” the aforementioned parents said, “but trust us when we tell you that those wild delinquents you are referring to, who just happen to eat, drink and sleep in our homes, are not related to us! We don’t even know their names, or who they are! So please don’t accuse us ever again of being parents, because we can assure you that the aforementioned hoodlums you’re referring to, who just happen to share our last names, and who just happen to live in our homes and wreak havoc upon entire neighborhoods, do not belong to us! They’re perfect strangers – as far as we’re concerned – who, for some strange reason, just happen to live under the same roofs as we do.”
    99.7% of school administrators, principals and teachers who responded to the survey insisted: “We couldn’t care less where the students go for their vacations, as long as tons of more vacation days are added to the school year!”
    “That would be wonderful!” they said.

11. it is obvious from the wording of the question what the originator of this “poll” thinks, rendering it a rhetorical question.
    On the other hand, the following question might lead to a good discussion:
    Should schools have a say in where their students go for mid-winter vacation?

12. This poll and some of these answers just reinforce why schools have the right to be picky in their acceptance process. It seems like some people feel that they can willfully ignore school rules. Well ,if you dont like the rules, there are lots of choices . And dont say that in Lakewood you have no choices. There are definitely more lenient and open minded schools available. If you dont want to send there because you feel its too modern or too to the left for you thats your problem .

13. of course it should be up to the schools they have Rebbeim and Menahalim who have yiras shomayim and care about the kids, the parents do not even care about themselves that they travel to such destinations and subject themselves to “relax” under such compromising settings how can such parents be trusted let alone have any say in something that they do not value for themselves and now they want to be considered experts on the subkect for their “own” kids as if they have the right to cause their kids such harmful exposure this is worse than vacationing in chernobyl this harm cannot be erased and here you are involving parents in the dialogue when they are whitewashing the whole thing as if it is the same as staying home in lakewood and getting the kids those free donuts after learning with their fathers 1 1/2 hrs in BMG what type of educational value do these parents think their opinion holds

14. Why are there so many complaints about the schools limiting midwinter vacation and saying that the parents should do whatever they want – would they say that parents should have the say of what phone their son brings? I don’t have much of a problem with it being that way, but if you want the school to have its standards that are across the board regardless of what a parent might want their son to have, then this standard on vacations shouldn’t be that much different in my opinion.
    It would seem to me to be the same thing for shuls limiting what choices you can have at your kiddush. Why aren’t people yelling and screaming about that, that they want to have herring AND 2 kinds of kugel AND cholent? And that in itself is quite limiting to say, that that’s too much, and that you have to choose one cold food and one hot food. Why are there no letters decrying that? Because it’s seen as something that’s been accepted as a good limitation. So why is vacation a hot topic?

15. The job of a school is to teach Torah & that’s it. I went to a school like this OOT & it was wonderful. Everyone being exactly the same is boring. When the class is filled with boys from Modern Orthodox homes & Yeshivish homes (& a few Chasidim) you learn how to get along with people from other groups or Hashkafas. No one cared whether a boy wore a black velvet yarmulke or a knit yarmulke.
    It didn’t matter if a boy went to a Frum camp in the NY mountains or a very MO coed ultra-zionist camp.
    If any boy asked the Rebbe about Halacha (unless it was clear cut) he would always answer, “Ask your parents & do what they say to do.”
    R’ Yaakov Kamenetsky told a principal of a large Bais Yaakov, “A Frum girl doesn’t lose her Ruach Hakodesh because she sits next to a girl from a less observant home (& this was sometimes at the level of not even Shomer Shabbos).
    We are so caught up in isolating from the slightest thing that deviates from what we do. While parents that provide their own message of who they are don’t need to keep their kids isolated from those that are different.

    • The issue with such a school is that it ruins the school’s reputation. If it’s one of afew schools in a city (like OOT), it’s understood, but in a big city with many schools, it’s different as the school is targeting a certain caliber of students.

      • That’s the bottom line, competition between the schools and dealing with their ego. Nothing else. And these are the people who are supposed to teach our children…..

      • It’s in a city with a large Frum community with many other options. It’s also a community school (not “owned” by anyone) so it’s not that worried about reputation. It’s by far the largest boys school (it has well over 1,000 students & added new buildings to have room for all the students). The parents send their kids there because it has very strong Limudei Kodesh program, as well a very strong Limudei Chol program. They also (more importantly) put Middos as the priority subject (they really believe Derech Eretz Kudma.. ltorah). What’s one aspect of Middos? Being respectful & tolerant of others that may not live the same Jewish life as you. So parents don’t see Modern Orthodox, Yeshivish, & Chasidish as a negative, just the opposite, it’s training the kids at a young age so when they’re adults they’ll know how to make a Kiddush Hashem when interacting with those that may be different from them.

        • how to they act towards Chassidishe yidden? they also LOVE them, with their restricted lifestyle?

          let’s face the truth, there is Hashem, and it is HE who we must love, and like Bila’am said Hashem hates zimah, and these vacations are to the goyishe destinations of zimah, that’s why Chassidishe yidden do not go there,

          middos are not about being liberal and loving all people, it’s about loving Hashem and caring about those close to Him!

          if you want to check if you have good middos, go among Chassidim and see if you feel a surge of accepting, go to the BMG parking lot and see if you feel waves of tolerance, give a mesivta bochur a hitch without asking him if he learns “english” that’s true good middos!

          • Why wouldn’t they love Chasidim? They’re friends in pre-school & will continue for 10 years.
            “Go to Chasidim & see if you see a surge of accepting” in some ways yes, but in some ways no. Try as a Modern Orthodox & a chiyuv if they’ll let you Daven for the Amud (some may let you, most will not). But at this school where there are boys with no hat & jacket, jacket with no hat & hat & jacket who are all treated equally I can’t imagine them not allowing a Chasid to Daven (even with the strange pronunciation;-).

16. the Rabbonim who encouraged maintaining relationships with classmates from weaker backgrounds that was with the premise that these girls had aspirations to grow in Torah and go on to build a more insular home and raise their own children to have a fair chance to learn Torah with a clear mind but what we are talking about is children who grow up in an insular community and are afforded the best opportunity towards an easier time learning and understanding and keeping the Torah and they are placing all of this at risk by going to a leisurely venue which is unprotected and proven to have disastrous potential so these are not well intentioned people who are trying to draw close but people who are endangering themselves and those who join them not only by their own experiences but more so be their careless attitude to their own role as heirs to our hoped for and shared future

    • Where I grew up this is totally not true. They wanted every girl possible to have a Bais Yaakov education. So even those from less observant homes with no intention of raising their level of Yiddishkeit were welcome.

17. I don’t have money for Vacation and besides where shall I go ??? Today inflation have killing my family budget!!!

    • The answer is to get out of lakewood

18. Abolish mid-winter break. Full steam ahead. Vacation during the summer.

19. It’s not WHO should make the rules Rather the rules were made by our Chachomim and Chaza”l
    Obviously all circumstances and families are different
    The issue is that unfortunately many people just do without asking and parents therefore neglect doing was is right as an individual and including the ramifications it has on the community at large
    We are all part of One Tzibur

    May HaShem that took us out of Mitzrayim on a beautiful vacation to Har Sinai and ultimately to Eretz Yisrael do it for us once more very soon and bring us back to the ULTIMATE VACTION: ובאו לציון ברינה
    Until then remember :
    אין לך בן חורין אלא מי שעוסק בתורה
    Make the right choice and wherever you go or stay you will enjoy your vacation

20. If school owners can go to Florida for vacation why not the parents?

21. @ploni almond,
    When someone is hiring a school, it’s putting the trust in the school to be able to make the decision for their child. Just as hiring anyone in life (a lawyer or doctor,)your putting your trust in them to do the right thing and make the calls. Yes you have final say, but if you don’t have plans to go by what your lawyer or doctor says don’t hire them!

    • When I hire a school it is to teach them not to take over all my authority as a parent. Parents select a school that suits them as well as possible, but not perfectly – which means as a parent I have the right to say in our family we do x despite the fact that you are going to y school that may hold differently. We chose the best of the choices – not necessarily the best fit.

    • I am not an almond!!! and CEE said it very nicely.

22. It became a “thing” to go on midwinter vacation, just like all the other high end gashmius things this
    generation has come to expect. We didn’t do all this not so many years ago, and we were much better for it.

23. The parents have a choice as to which schools they place their children in, this poll is redundant. The real question is – do parents get to force the school to lower their hashkafa standards based on their own choices, or do they accept the school rules when they sign the tuition contract?

24. Schools are making a suggestion to the parents as they know what really is a good idea and what isn’t. If parents feel they know better go for it. The school doesn’t lose out from your mid winter plans. The only thing the school can do positively is line up the breaks so everyone can do something as a family which would be the easiest and least pressure amongst the kids in school (politics…)

25. was i the only one who thought the title was the school and parents…..or the kids. It seems today parents are controlled by their children and they have such pressure from their kids to go and it really the kids deciding and running the homes these days. weak.

    • In that case, this is the least of their issues. Also, that’s not something that happened TO the parents. That had to have been caused by the parenting choices of the parents themselves.

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