Police Investigating Theft of Catalytic Converters in Lakewood

Lakewood Police are investigating the theft of catalytic converters over the weekend, TLS has learned.

The incidents occurred in the Coventry Square development sometime between Friday night and this morning.

At least one of the vehicles hit belong to a visitor to the neighborhood.

Anyone with information is asked to call the Lakewood Police Department.

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  1. Township Official: “Lakewood Has More Catalytic Conversions Than Jewish Conversions”
    When asked why so many catalytic converter thefts were occurring in Lakewood, a township official official told reporters on Sunday: “Because the Lakewood Jewish community, and other Jewish communities as well, do not engage in proselytizing, which means the community does not seek, nor attempt to convert people away from their own faith to the Jewish faith. Hence, it is uncommon to find a converter of religion in Lakewood, and thus, the thieves have no choice but to seek out other kinds of converters instead, like the catalytic converters.”
    “The general rule,” the township official explained, “is that robbbers will always steal what is available to them. And, ultimately, in Lakewood, the only converters available, are of the catalytic variety.”

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