LPD: “SRT’s Pre-Holiday Prep Is No Cause for Concern, We’re Just Preparing For a Possible Doomsday Scenario”
The LPD issued a statement on Monday reassuring the public that the SRT’s current pre-holiday training prep “Is no cause for concern”, and that “We’re just making preparations for a possible doomsday scenario when all
he_ _ would break out.”
“Trust us when we tell you that these current pre-holiday training exercises are just standard procedures,” the statement said, “and that these unique exercises are simply our typical M.O. when threat possibilities rise to the highest levels.”
“We repeat, ‘you’ve got nothing to worry about,” the statement went on to say. “Because when you see the SWAT team members pointing semi automatic rifles in all directions, and climbing through small windows while wearing heavy protective gear, it simply means that they’re preparing for a possible doomsday scenario’.”
“Bottom line: There’s nothing to be concerned about,” the statement concluded, “because ultimately the scary-looking SRT exercises you are witnessing right now are nothing more than a series of painstaking preparations for some of life’s most horrendous scenarios.”