PHOTOS: Lakewood Fire Department Hires Eight New Firefighters

This evening, a ceremony was held at Lakewood Fire headquarters to swear in eight new career firefighters.

Three of the new hires were previously volunteer firefighters in Lakewood, and all eights new hires are certified firefighters and are currently undergoing in-house training.

Their names are;
Qua’dry W. Lyons (Former  LFD Volunteer)
Michael J. Muratore (Former LFD Volunteer)
Louis F. Nazzaro (Former LFD Volunteer)
Luke P. Hanlon
Brett A. Hebrew
John Z. Paitakis
Andrew J. Sanchez
Vincent J. Vacchiano

The event was attended by family and friends of the members, as well as by Senator Bob Singer, Ocean County Commissioner Frank Sadeghi, Committeeman Meir Lichtenstein and Assemblyman Avi Schnall.

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  1. Lakewood Arsonists Looking to Recruit 24 New Pyromaniacs to Offset Hiring of 8 New Firefighters
    With the price of gasoline and other inflammatory materials skyrocketing in recent years due to the high rate of inflation, local arsonists, who can no longer afford to cover the expenses of setting off huge fires and incinerating local forests and property, are leaving the pyromaniac workforce in search of other means of employment, which is sending shockwaves throughout the arsonist community.
    “If THAT wasn’t bad enough news, the LFD just hired 8 new firefighters,” said local arsonist, Frank Burnwell, who’s been leading the charge to recruit an additional 24 pyromaniacs to join forces with the local arsonist community.
    “For every firefighter that gets hired, we need to hire an additional three arsonists,” Mr. Burnwell said, “because each firefighter is capable of putting out 3 fires per day.”
    “We’ve been placing advertisements in all the local newspapers in search of new recruits,” he said, “and the response has been overwhelming! You’d be surprised just how many incredibly dedicated and selfless arsonists there are out there who simply want to make the world an uglier and more repulsive place to live in.”
    “We offer all of our employees discounted health insurance plans and free homeowners insurance that covers up to $5 million in fire damages, no matter how the fires were started or who started the fires,” he said.
    “Starting pay is $25 an hour,” he said, “and the matches and gasoline are provided to all our employees free of charge.”

    • Frank’s buddy, Char Cole, adds that arsonists have been getting a bad rap in the news recently. “People don’t understand the benefits,” he explained. “Forests need to get a little scorched sometimes in order to grow back better. We are just doing our part to make the world a better, friendly place.”


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