PHOTOS: Jaywalking in Lakewood – a Baaaad Idea
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Why did the sheep refuse to cross Route nine?
Because he did not want to wait another 40 years in the midbar
Did he escape from Shuster’s farm?
Jaywalking Sheep Had Been on the Lam Since Spring; He Could Face Up to Ten Years in the Pen, Sheep Officials Say
A sheep who was caught jaywalking in Lakewood Township on Tuesday had been on the Lam since early Spring, while facing charges of Illegal Grazing and Loitering, NJ sheep police told reporters today.
“The poor creature was caught grazing on a NJ lawn without permission,” said veteran sheep and current NJ Sheep Police Chief, Edward Woolson. “He was clearly starving at the time, as evidenced by the three pounds of grass he consumed in less than an hour. However, the law is the law, and we arrested him on Illegal Grazing charges.”
The sheep managed to escape from his holding pen shortly thereafter, and, he had been on the lam ever since, until he was arrested again Tuesday on Jaywalking charges.
Local shepherds were reportedly shocked to learn that the sheep had put his life in danger by crossing in the middle of the street, instead of the crosswalk.
“The shepherd community must impress upon the flock the importance of crossing the streets at the crosswalks,” said, veteran shepherd, Steven Flockman. “Additionally, all sheep should be required by law to wear reflective safety belts when crossing the streets in the evening hours.”
The sheep’s attorney, William Shepselle, told reporters later in the day, that his client had been released on bail shortly after his arrest on Tuesday.
“My client is resting comfortably right now in a local meadow,” the attorney said. “We’re gonna make a deal with the judge, so that the sheep can remain back home with his family where he belongs. Because, If he gets a prison sentence, he’ll be smoking grass with his fellow inmates, instead of eating it, and we don’t want him to become a grass addict!”
Asinine Commentator – you make my day! I love reading your commentary. You get so many great puns and jokes in! Your comments are so clever and a genuine pleasure to read!
Please keep it up!!
I wouldn’t do business with that fellow. I heard he’s real sheep.
and a sheep-skate
Does the owner have a permit for the sheep?